Barry Longyear - Enemy Papers

"What are you trying to say, Kia?"

Kia’s boots moved uncomfortably on the stone floor. "It is not easily said. It is no longer dark."

"It is dark for me."

"My emotions were not in control. I… lost control."

"Control of what?"

More nervous movements. "Joanne Nicole, I… I have conceived."

"Conceived? You mean… Ha!" And then Nicole laughed so hard it hurt her ribs. It was a release of so many things.

"This humor, Joanne Nicole. I do not understand it. I have just told you that I will have a child. This is not amusing."

"Pregnant!"

"Yes!"

"I’d make… I’d make an honest Drac out of you, Kia; but… what would your parent say!?" She felt the remainder of her way into her apartment, tears of laughter running down her cheeks.

"I am honest!"

"Take no offense at my laughter, Kia. You would have to be a human to understand it… Congratulations. Congratulations, and all the-ah, hah!"

She closed the door to the corridor and collapsed upon the floor in laughter.

Enroute to Hell. Human and Drac corpses roasting over the pit that was Amadeen. Could there be a war in which no one wants peace? On Earth ancient hates still burned the Semites. The United Kingdom and Northern Ireland had long ago been absorbed by the United States of Earth. Yet the night still brought the crack of guns, screams, tears-

"Joanne Nicole, the Ovjetah would speak to you."

She softened her meditation, let the feelings of her body reach her mind and the soft hum of the Dracon Fleet Ship Cueh reach her ears. She pushed up from the cushion and turned toward the voice. "Aal Thaya, where is the Ovjetah?"

"Tora Soam is in the ship’s screen display room with Mitzak and Tora Kia."

"I am coming."

She felt her way toward the door and pondered the absolute trust in Tora Soam, Kia, and Mitzak that she had built upon her absolute mistrust in everything. Truth is always a closely held variable to be tested against the constants of rules. And the rules are always creatures of some group’s or individual’s choice; again to be tested against more rules.

Maltak Di had said it: "Truth is an elastic to be measured against elastic rules of understanding and procedure."

And faith is a form of mental blockage founded in the belief that either the truths, the measures, or both are inflexible-givens.

There was an instrument of Drac invention that could have been placed upon her back. It would have pressed dull needles against her back, letting her feel the diagrams that others could see with their eyes. She had refused it. Without her eyes, she was seeing more than she ever had seen before. Nicole could not risk something that would interfere with her vision.

She entered the screen room and sensed the others in the room with her. No one spoke. She felt her way to a couch and sat down. In a few moments a door opened and she heard Tora Soam’s familiar footsteps enter the room. Tora Soam spoke, Its voice evidencing passion by its cold lack of emotion. "I have this to tell you. The Dracon Chamber has cleared our mission to Amadeen. We are officially attached to the Amadeen negotiations. You will be appraised of the details in a few moments. But I want you to understand this: The principle Drac negotiator at Amadeen was named Heliot Vant-"

"No!" Tora Kia’s footsteps moved across the compartment. "It is not true-"

"Heliot Vant has been murdered, and the negotiations are in shambles." There was a silence, then Kia moved back to its couch and sat down. Tora Soam spoke to them all. "Your task is to find the path we need to find peace. But if you should find it within your power to discover who murdered my dear friend, Heliot Vant, you will find my gratitude to be without limit. We shall arrive at the orbiter in less than three days. Prepare yourselves."

Mitzak spoke: "Ovjetah, your desire to find this murderer-if murder is the fact-is beside the talma to resolve this war; and might contradict it."

"Perhaps, Mitzak. None of us knows. If this murderer’s reckoning serves a part of this talma, it will serve us all. If it does not, I would know the murderer’s name. I am more than qualified to construct my own talma-one that will not limit the talma of peace."

Tora Soam’s footsteps left the compartment. Mitzak stood and spoke. "In the space of a few seconds, the Ovjetah’s view has been narrowed from the universe to a single victim. Kia, you must talk to your parent."

"I can tell my parent nothing that it does not already know, Mitzak."

"Can Tora Soam see how its view cripples talma?"

Tora Kia sat silently for a few moments. "Mitzak, your records show that you used to belong to a celibate religious sect."

"And?"

"Perhaps you do not understand the ties between those who cause and make family lines. Heliot Vant and my parent joined to conceive me."

"I did not know." Nicole could hear Mitzak take a step toward the door, and turn. "However, Tora Kia, perhaps that is why I can see how this event limits the goals and paths visible to your parent If someone wanted to cripple your parent’s usefulness by manipulating its rules of passion, that someone could do worse than to kill Heliot Vant." Mitzak turned and left the compartment.

Kia let escape a breath. "Mitzak is correct. But he does not know my parent’s ability to overcome adversity." There were the sounds of Kia moving about on its couch. "Joanne Nicole, your records show that you gave birth to a child."

She could feel her face beginning to flush. "It is no concern of yours."

"How did you feel?"

"What do you mean, Kia?"

"Carrying your child, being a parent. How did you feel?"

"I spent a lot of time throwing up, a lot of time being ugly, a lot of time feeling guilty. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No. And I do not think you tell the whole truth. When the male, Mallik, was living; what was it like then?"

"It…" Joanne Nicole felt the tears come to her eyes. "It’s none of your business."

"Joanne, I find it difficult to imagine how a man regards a woman; how a woman regards a man; how they both regard a child; how a human child regards its parents." Kia was silent for a moment. "I am to be a parent. Sin Vidak was composed completely from my parent’s own fluids. But Heliot Vant and Tora Soam mixed fluids to conceive me. It took two beings to bring me into existence."

"And?"

"My child, in a manner of speaking, will be the same. Our fluids did not mix-"

Nicole sat upright. "Just what are you saying?"

"-but if it were not for you, I would not be carrying my child. The act of conception wreaks violence upon the parent. If I were only a few years older, the act would have killed me. My child, if it lives, will owe its life to you."

Nicole snorted out a laugh. "Kia, you owe as much to the dark and to your drugs. Perhaps more. Would you make them your child’s parents, as well?"

The Drac stood and moved to Nicole’s couch. Kia took her hand in its, and held it. "Joanne Nicole, what has become of your own child? The child of Mallik and Joanne Nicole?"

"I don’t know." She pulled her hand free of Kia’s grasp. She sat, trying to swallow her tears; then she turned her face up toward the Drac. "When Mallik was alive, it was a wonderful thing. But have you ever had a close friend die? Have you?"

"Several. Upon Amadeen."

"And what did you do, Kia?"

"Do?"

"Didn’t you remove from yourself everything that reminded you of them? Even thoughts? Just to reduce the pain? Didn’t you?"