Alexandra Duncan - Salvage

“I want nothing of yours, Parastrata.” Spit flies from Æther Fortune’s mouth. “Your lies or your girls or your metals. We’re done. Leave my ship.”

“So brother,” my father says a soothing voice. “Only . . .”

“Leave my ship,” Æther Fortune repeats, and it comes to me he wouldn’t need a knife to kill at all.

The Parastrata men stand tense and ready, their wine long forgotten at their feet. My father jerks his chin. His men file into two flanking columns as my father stalks from the room. He brushes past me on his way to the door, as if I’m vapor. It feels like a kick to the chest; I can’t draw breath. I glance at Luck, his eye swollen and a line of blood welling over the bridge of his nose. I want to run to him, press a cool hand to his face, wipe away the blood, but his father steps between us.

“You would have been my wife, girl.” His pale blue eyes are filled with hate. “Now you’re nothing.”

I stumble back and trip over my own skirt, coming down hard on my elbow. I scrabble to my feet. I am alone, near naked, and without my kinsmen’s protection. I see my father disappearing through the small latchdoor, his men retreating after him. One of them turns. Jerej, doing me the small mercy of waiting.

I cast a last look at Luck. He stares back, his features cracked with blood and heartbreak. He cannot save himself, much less me. What will his crewe do to him? It will be worse than Æther Ready’s fate, certain sure. It will be the airlock, like his father said, or worse.

I have no choice. I hurry after Jerej. The Æther men turn away as I push through them to my brother.

“Jerej . . .” I say when I reach the latchdoor.

He pivots and sweeps out of the captain’s quarters. I follow, running as best I can.

“Jerej.”

His boots clap the floor. He doesn’t answer.

“Please, wait for me!” My voice pitches down the curve of the corridor, and I hate the way it sounds. All panicked and girlish high as it echoes back. Jerej steps up his pace. Tears sting my eyes like chemical burn and dread lodges in my throat. “Please . . .”

I can feel the threads between Luck and me snapping with every step. I trip, skin my palms and knees, pick myself up again, and push myself after Jerej. He doesn’t stop, even when I fall. A sharp bend in the hallway swallows him up.

“Wait!”

I round the corner and stop short.

“Jerej.” My father looks at me. For a moment I think he’s going to speak to me, and I would welcome it, even if his words hit me like a slap. But he speaks for my brother. “Take that back to the ship. We’ll collect the women and meet you there.”

“Father . . .” I say.

He turns away and gestures for his men to follow. Jerej grips my shoulder and pushes me in the opposite direction, to the exit bay. I don’t fight as he yanks me along the corridor, down the ramp. The close, once-safe walls of the Æther give way to the high, open bay. The weight of the station’s gravity drops on me once more. The concourse stands near empty now the station is observing night. Dim blue light from the few open shops falls over the grit and dung and wasted bits of food and paper littering the broad midway floor. A thin scum of debris sticks to the soles of my feet as Jerej herds me along. I cling to him, even though his grip hurts my arm.

“Jerej,” I whisper. “Please, I didn’t know.”

I pull back to slow him down. Maybe if I talk, I can keep him from locking me up in the Parastrata, I think wildly. Maybe he’ll take me back to the Æther. Maybe it’s not too late to unpick this snarl and ravel everything back right.

“I know I did wrong.” My voice shakes. “But I would never have done it if I hadn’t thought it was Luck you meant to bind me to. I swear, Jerej.”

He glances at me but doesn’t slow his pace.

“If you would speak to Father for me.” I wipe at my eyes. Doesn’t he remember us as smallones together? Watching my mother in the midst of the storm? The times he dropped his beancake at supper and I gave him my own? Shouldn’t that matter now? “Please, so brother . . .”

“I’m none of your brother.” Jerej stops and glares at me. “My sister Ava is dead. And you, you’re naught but some bad matter left over. Don’t you see what you’ve done?” Jerej stands close to me, too close, and his words are soft with menace. “Two decaturns of trade with the Æthers, gone to vapor because of you.”

“I didn’t know,” I say. “How was I to know . . .”

“You weren’t,” Jerej says. “You were supposed to keep your legs together and do as you were told.”

I drop my head and let Jerej pull me to the Parastrata’s dock. I don’t raise my eyes again until I hear the bay door seal itself behind us, and the humid air of my home ship swallows us once more.

I huddle on the floor of the utility closet where Modrie Reller and Iri dyed my hair at the beginning of the day—or was it the day before? Two days? I’ve lost track of time since Jerej sealed the door behind me. The old-fashioned vapor light built into the ceiling doesn’t cycle on and off with the rest of the ship; it burns constantly with a tik-tik-tik, like a fingernail tapping the base of my skull. Dried salt crusts my arms and legs, and the copper coils at my wrists and ankles stick to my stained skin. At one point, I fall into an uneasy sleep and dream Luck has coaxed me to the broad window in the Æther’s garden. We stand looking out at the stars.

“Did you know you can walk on them?” Luck says.

“Truly?” I say.

Luck climbs up into the window and steps out. He balances on the tiny pinprick of a star. “You just have to keep moving,” he says, and jumps to the next one.

We can’t, I say, but I follow him out into the Void anyway. I pull back my skirts and leap out onto the nearest star. It holds firm under my feet, solid as glass. I look up at Luck.

“You can run,” he says. He grins and breaks away from me, across the starry field.

I push myself after him. The stars come closer the faster I run, until they form a shining pebbled path beneath my feet. I laugh. My skirt weighs nothing and my legs carry me like water. I’m not even winded.

Winded. I stop and look down at my feet. But I’m in the Void, I remember. I shouldn’t be able to breathe at all. My blood should be frozen in my veins, my lungs sucked empty of air and collapsed. I look up to warn Luck, but he’s gone. The Void stretches out empty around me. I open my mouth to call for him, and the emptiness rushes in and siphons all the air out of me.

I wake, gasping, on the utility room floor.

After that, I try not to sleep. Instead, I hug my knees to my chest and rock and play what’s happened over and over, imagining it different. In one version, I never leave Soli’s bunk. In another, I lie and tell Luck I’ve been swimming before, go back to bed, and marry Æther Fortune. I don’t kiss Luck. I don’t hold him close in the water. I never give him the chance to love me. In my wildest version, Luck and I break away from the Fixes and flee the ship, but my imagination falters once we’ve reached the concourse, so instead I imagine Luck talking his father down, convincing him to bind us after all.

Maybe he will, I think. Maybe Soli will speak for us. Maybe Jerej . . .

The door lock clicks. I scramble to my feet and try to stamp the numbness out of them. They haven’t forgotten me. A mix of relief and dread twists in my gut. The hinges squeal as the door swings open. Modrie Reller stands on the other side. Half of me wants to shrink into the corner and half wants to run to her, to break down crying with relief at the sight of her. Modrie Reller’s face is still, blank. She holds an armful of heavy green cloth close to her chest. I recognize my good mirrored skirt, the one I wore when I was so briefly a bride, the one I left behind on the Æther.