Duncan Hamilton - A Clear Blue Sky - A remarkable memoir about family, loss and the will to overcome

HarperCollins Publishers

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London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by HarperCollins Publishers 2017

SECOND EDITION

© Jonny Bairstow 2017

Cover design by Clare Ward © HarperCollins Publishers 2017

Cover photograph © Adidas

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

Jonny Bairstow asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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Source ISBN: 9780008232696

Ebook Edition © October 2017 ISBN: 9780008232702

Version: 2018-05-10

To Mum, Dad and Boo

(© Author’s collection)

(© Author’s collection)

COVER

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT COPYRIGHT CONTENTS COVER TITLE PAGE COPYRIGHT DEDICATION PROLOGUE: EVERYTHING I’VE EVER STRIVED FOR, EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DONE CHAPTER 1: THE VIEW FROM THE VERANDA CHAPTER 2: I THINK YOU USED TO PLAY ALONGSIDE MY DAD CHAPTER 3: THE PERFECT 10 CHAPTER 4: KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID CHAPTER 5: THE KINGDOM BY THE SEA CHAPTER 6: THE POP AND FIZZ OF CHAMPAGNE CHAPTER 7: THE SMALLEST ROOM AT LORD’S CHAPTER 8: ARE YOU HERE FOR ALL THE TESTS? CHAPTER 9: TWO PHOTOGRAPHS, TWO ERAS CHAPTER 10: A DAMP DAY IN FRONT OF THE WESTERN TERRACE AFTERWORD: I AM BLUEY ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ABOUT THE PUBLISHER HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk First published by HarperCollins Publishers 2017 SECOND EDITION © Jonny Bairstow 2017 Cover design by Clare Ward © HarperCollins Publishers 2017 Cover photograph © Adidas A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library Jonny Bairstow asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green Source ISBN: 9780008232696 Ebook Edition © October 2017 ISBN: 9780008232702 Version: 2018-05-10

DEDICATION DEDICATION CONTENTS COVER TITLE PAGE COPYRIGHT DEDICATION PROLOGUE: EVERYTHING I’VE EVER STRIVED FOR, EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DONE CHAPTER 1: THE VIEW FROM THE VERANDA CHAPTER 2: I THINK YOU USED TO PLAY ALONGSIDE MY DAD CHAPTER 3: THE PERFECT 10 CHAPTER 4: KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID CHAPTER 5: THE KINGDOM BY THE SEA CHAPTER 6: THE POP AND FIZZ OF CHAMPAGNE CHAPTER 7: THE SMALLEST ROOM AT LORD’S CHAPTER 8: ARE YOU HERE FOR ALL THE TESTS? CHAPTER 9: TWO PHOTOGRAPHS, TWO ERAS CHAPTER 10: A DAMP DAY IN FRONT OF THE WESTERN TERRACE AFTERWORD: I AM BLUEY ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ABOUT THE PUBLISHER To Mum, Dad and Boo (© Author’s collection) (© Author’s collection)

PROLOGUE: EVERYTHING I’VE EVER STRIVED FOR, EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DONE PROLOGUE

CHAPTER 1: THE VIEW FROM THE VERANDA

CHAPTER 2: I THINK YOU USED TO PLAY ALONGSIDE MY DAD

CHAPTER 3: THE PERFECT 10

CHAPTER 4: KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID

CHAPTER 5: THE KINGDOM BY THE SEA

CHAPTER 6: THE POP AND FIZZ OF CHAMPAGNE

CHAPTER 7: THE SMALLEST ROOM AT LORD’S

CHAPTER 8: ARE YOU HERE FOR ALL THE TESTS?

CHAPTER 9: TWO PHOTOGRAPHS, TWO ERAS

CHAPTER 10: A DAMP DAY IN FRONT OF THE WESTERN TERRACE

AFTERWORD: I AM BLUEY

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

PROLOGUE

Cape Town, 3 January 2016

I’ve been batting for more than three and a half hours. I’ve faced 160 balls. I’m on 99 – a nudge, a nick, a heartbeat away from my first Test century.

Just one more run …

This South African afternoon is heavy with a dry heat. The sky, shining without clouds, is as bright as the blue in a child’s paint box, and the glare makes everything around me seem profoundly sharper: the sweep of a full, noisy ground, the purple-grey outline of Table Mountain and the jaggedness of Devil’s Peak, and even the vivid emerald of the outfield. In my head I’m talking all the time. I’m reminding myself, as I always do, of the simple things that are so damned difficult to get right. Stay focused. Appear calm, almost nonchalant. Don’t let the bowlers get on top. And don’t, on any account, show a sign of apprehension.

Between deliveries I’ve occasionally drifted out of my crease and patted down or brushed away some imaginary speck of dirt simply because I wanted something to do, something to keep me busy and alert. Or I’ve occupied myself in other ways: twirling my bat in my hand, tugging at my shirt and readjusting my helmet. These small tics are displacement, each designed to banish the sort of thoughts that can gremlin the mind. When you’re so close to a hundred, it’s easy to lose concentration. Your mind can go slack, wandering off abstractedly. Then the hard, sweaty graft that’s gone before is undone in a nanosecond. So I have to stay in the moment. I mustn’t get ahead of myself. I can’t afford to think about the relief I’ll feel when this is over and gone, already part of my statistical record. I can’t afford to think about how handsome my name, illuminated on the scoreboard in big capital letters, will look with three figures beside it. And I can’t afford to think about what the century will mean, professionally as well as personally. Most of all, I mustn’t dwell on how I will feel or how I will celebrate in the middle. Or how my mum Janet and my sister Becky, who are sitting near the pavilion, will feel and celebrate too. Or how proud I will make them – this week of all weeks.