Kristi Helvig - Burn Out

My eyes filled with tears. I forced them back. I didn’t have time for emotion. I pulled out two more guns and brought them to James. “Here, take these. One more case, and we’ll bring this load up front. Then we’ll do the next batch.”

His hand touched mine a second longer than was necessary, as I handed him the guns. “I’m sorry about … your dad.”

My eyes met his. “Thanks. I’m sorry about your family too.”

He nodded and looked so close to saying something more. But he only shifted the guns in his arms.

We took the first load of about a hundred guns to the front and Kale’s face lit up as soon as he laid eyes on them.

“So these are the legendary bioweapons. Mind if I hold one?”

I gritted my teeth. His excitement was nauseating. These guns were the reason my father was dead. How could you be excited over something when its only purpose was to destroy? “Go for it.”

Kale pulled one off the top of the pile and stroked it like it was alive. He put his thumb over the power panel. Nothing happened. “You weren’t kidding then. No one can use them except you?”

“Like I would’ve let you lay a finger on it if it would work for any of you.”

Kale looked thoughtful. “You’re not worried that someone would cut off your thumb so they’d have your print any time they wanted it?”

Something about the way Kale said it sent a shiver down my spine. I liked him better when he was high on pain meds. “It’s not my thumbprint that powers it. It’s my vibration.” I stared at him coldly. “And in case you had any other bright ideas, you have to be living to vibrate, so cutting anything off won’t help you.”

Kale studied me. “Calm down. I wasn’t thinking of cutting you, Tora. I’m just remarking on how smart your father was.”

We might be in the same boat for now, but it was pretty clear that Kale jumped into any boat that wasn’t sinking. And ours sprang new leaks with every impact of the incoming bombs.

I really needed to use the bathroom before going back to the weapons room. “Be right back,” I said.

After using the recycling machine, I observed my dark hair in the mirror and sighed. Nothing would tame my wild locks. I tucked a wayward strand behind my ear and combed through the ends with my fingers, then froze. What the hell was I doing? My father had taught me better than to primp for a boy, especially one of the burner variety. I shook my hair back out and marched into the front room.

Markus had moved to the table. He and Kale were discussing something about ship engine mechanics. What bothered me was James. He sat next to Britta, whispering in her ear. She leaned into him, nodding. Their bodies were almost touching; it looked—intimate. They didn’t even notice I’d returned. Had he lied about their being together? Nothing he did or said should bother me, so why did seeing them so close together make my stomach turn?

“Are you ready?” My voice came out harsher than expected, and James looked startled.

He stood quickly. “Yeah.”

We walked in silence to the back room. I was so not doing any more talking.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Sure.” That’s all I would give him. Not another word.

He touched my arm as we ducked through the doorway again into the weapons room. Tingles ran through me, which pissed me off. I was onto his game. He wanted to get me to trust him so he could take me down.

His thumb lightly rubbed my forearm. “Tora?” My heart sped up and my knees went weak. “What’s wrong?”

My body needed to stop reacting to him. I jerked my arm away. “What’s up with all the whispering with bird girl?”

“Bird girl?” He had the nerve to look amused.

“Britta, the one you were all over just now. Were you plotting how to trick me?”

He shook his head. “I can’t figure you out. I was just talking to her … about you.” His fingers grazed my arm again as I tried to unlock another case. “Look, Kale is the one you need to worry about. Not me.”

“Yeah, so you’ve said.” I unlocked another gun case. “Remind me again why I should trust you but not Kale? You have to obey him, right?”

“Britta didn’t when she knocked you out,” said James. His brow furrowed. “But if she goes rogue again, Kale will show no mercy. It’s funny. I owe him my life but I don’t trust him with it.”

I handed him an armful of guns and remained in front of him. “Sounds like there’s a story there. Want to tell it?” I noticed he didn’t seem to have any interest in holding the guns the way Kale did.

“It’s a long story.” His eyes held mine. “I promise I’ll tell you everything soon … once I’m sure I can trust you completely.” He said it in a teasing way, almost flirtatious, and my heart rate sped up again.

I arched an eyebrow. “That’s funny. You’re the one who doesn’t seem very trustworthy. I’m an open book, I have nothing to hide.” Though part of me wanted to trust him, trusting someone made you vulnerable. They could let you down. They could die. They could kill you.

He turned and faced the center of the room. “Nothing to hide, huh? So what’s with the empty case here?”

I smiled despite myself. “Be patient. We have to finish these first.” I clucked my tongue. “Just when I was thinking you didn’t have an interest in these guns.”

He smiled back and accepted another armload from me. “It’s more curiosity than interest. I mean, look at us. Have guns made us better people? Better at killing things maybe, but I’m not sure that’s much of a legacy.”

My hand brushed his as I extricated myself from the weapons. I ignored the tingle of electricity that shot up my arm. “Ah, a philosopher-soldier. How interesting.”

I opened the last case on the second wall and fingered one of the guns as I removed it. I remembered this one. This was one of the ones my father made me practice with for hours at a time. Aim well, Tora, because whatever you hit won’t exist afterward . There had been many additional boulders near our shelter door in the past. I’d obliterated them during target practice, so I named the gun Boulder-Killer—B.K. for short, which was only slightly more creative than naming my first gun Trigger. I’d taken B.K. and planned to destroy the rock where I’d found my mother and sister dead, but changed my mind. I kept the rock to remember the pain.

James watched me handle the gun. “If you don’t mind my saying, your father placed an awful lot of responsibility on you by making you the sole operator of these things.”

A sigh escaped my lips. “He didn’t key them to his own vibration, because I think he knew deep down that they’d kill him eventually. If I could use the guns, I could protect myself from the Consulate. It’s why he trained me.”

I told James how he’d made the guns as ordered in the beginning. “They were powered by human energy the same way Infinities and other devices were. When he realized the magnitude of destruction his creations could cause, he changed his mind. He keyed the gun panels to my specific energy vibration. Because the likelihood of two people having the same vibration is about nil, only slightly more probable than identical fingerprints, he figured it was a smart move. He chose me. My sister was younger than me and he didn’t want to involve her. My mother … well, yeah. Anyway, I guess my father’s plan was genius, since they died and all.” I heard the harsh tone in my voice but couldn’t help it.

“How did they die?”

I choked back a sob. I didn’t know how they died. No, that wasn’t true. I knew how they died. They cooked alive. The better question was why, but I had no answer for that. How could they die so close to our shelter door? Why were they outside without their suits on? Did they even try to get inside? No matter how many times I went over it in my head, I came up blank. My voice squeaked out. “I don’t know what happened exactly. Why the hell am I telling you so much, anyway?”