Gord Zajac - Major Karnage

They followed the tunnel deep into the darkness. It ended at another maintenance hatch. They opened it, and found themselves in another subway tunnel. The air was thick with toxic yellow mist. Creeper hung from the ceiling in long draping strands. The floor of the tunnel was thick with pinkstink, and Karnage caught a glimpse of the back of a purple ladybug burrowing into the undergrowth.

Sydney brushed the creeper aside and read a set of numbers on the wall. “88-01,” she said. “We’re near the city’s core. We’re on the wrong side of it, though.”

“What do you mean, wrong side?”

“The city’s built around the mountain, so the core is spread around the base. It’s going to take some time to get to the other side.”

They felt the ground shake and rumble as if a subway train was approaching. They scrambled back through the maintenance hatch as a train of horned worms rumbled past, squiggling and screeching as they went.

They waited for the shaking and screeching to fade to nothing before peeking back out.

“What the hell is going on down here?” Sydney exclaimed.

“Only one way to find out.” Karnage stepped out and looked down both ends of the tunnel. Light seemed to be coming from a junction near the north end. “What’s down that way?”

“Nothing,” Sydney said. “It’s a dead end.”

“Doesn’t look so dead to me. There’s light coming from down there.”

“There shouldn’t be. That would lead straight into the mountain. There’s nowhere for the track to go.”

“But it’s goin’ somewhere. Let’s find out where.”

They pressed themselves against the wall of the tunnel, following it towards the light. They kept an eye out for maintenance hatches in case another train of worms came down the tunnel.

The air grew thicker with yellow mist, stinging eyes and offending nostrils. Karnage heard Sydney cough and gasp behind him.

The tunnel ended at a thick canopy of creeper. Bright shafts of light poked through. Karnage and Sydney parted the creeper and walked through.

They were in a wide clearing. Sheer rock walls scaled up behind them. The ground was covered in pinkstink. Grey trees grew up from the underbrush, their bare branches laden with orange creeper. Giant pods expelling yellow mist covered the ground. Karnage felt like they had walked into Uncle’s squidbug terrarium.

Sydney tugged at Karnage’s arm. She was staring straight up. “Look,” she whispered, eyes wide.

They were at the bottom of a chasm. Sheer rock walls rose up on all sides, hemming them in. Tunnel entrances laced with orange creeper ran around the perimeter. The mountain had been hollowed out, and they were standing inside it. High above them, just visible through the yellow mist, green lights flickered across a black, panelled mass.

It was the squidbug mothership.

Karnage grinned. “Perfect.”

“Perfect?” Sydney stared at him, her mouth agape. “I think this is a hell of a long way off from perfect! In fact, I don’t think you can get any further away from perfect than this! We have to get the hell out of here.”

“No,” Karnage said firmly. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

“You can’t take on all these aliens by yourself.”

“I know that,” Karnage said. “I’m talkin’ about gatherin’ intel.

That’s why we’re here. To figure out what’s goin’ on. We wanted to know what the Dabney Corporation had to do with the squidbugs.

Now it’s lookin’ like they’ve got quite a bit to do with ’em.” He led them away from the tunnel and behind a creeper-laden boulder. Karnage peered out from behind the boulder, observing the squidbug invasion in action.

A line of trucks emerged from a tunnel entrance beside them. Dabby Tabby was painted on the side, jumping out of a blue container. Karnage pointed them out to Sydney. “What are those?”

“Automated sanitation trucks,” she said.

The trucks pulled up to a giant pile of debris in the middle of the clearing. They dumped their contents onto the pile and disappeared back into the tunnel. Squidbugs stood around the pile, sorting the debris into bins. One of the squidbugs picked up a plastic water bottle and covertly ate it. Another squidbug swatted the first, and pointed to the pile. The chastised squidbug bent down and resumed sorting.

A horned worm rumbled up to the pile. Its face was covered with a metal plate. A squidbug stood atop the worm, steering it by the horn. It lined the worm’s metal faceplate up with the nearest bin. The bin latched itself onto the metal plate, as if pulled by magnets. The squidbug steered the worm around and carried the bin to a massive smoking pit where it dumped the contents of the bin into the pit. Flames shot up from the pit’s depths.

“What the hell are they doing?” Sydney hissed.

“They’re suckin’ up our resources,” Karnage said. “Suckin’ the planet dry.” He watched the recycling trucks motor back through the creeper, and clenched his fist. “And the Dabney Corporation’s helpin’ ’em do it.”

“But why? What’s in it for them?”

“Let’s find old Stevie boy and ask him,” Karnage said. They heard a rustling behind them, turned, and saw a bright burning ember just visible through the trees. Green energy crackled along an invisible shaft as the air behind the trees started to shimmer.

“Run!”

Karnage and Sydney jumped clear just as an energy ball vaporized their boulder. Sydney rose up on one knee and fired a blast of goober, pinning the squidbug to the tree. Other squidbugs were racing towards them, their energy spears crackling. “Let’s go, Captain!”

Karnage ran towards the nearest tunnel opening. He ripped aside the creeper, surprising a squidbug in the middle of eating a D-Pad. Karnage punched it in what he hoped was its jaw. He didn’t hit bone, but the squidbug squealed and went down. His neck buzzed, and the Sanity Patch hit Lemon Breeze. The air behind him sizzled as an energy ball flew by.

“Keep moving, Major!” Sydney shouted.

Karnage raced down the corridor with Sydney close behind. They pushed through creeper as energy balls crackled behind them. A deep, jagged line of sound tore through the tunnel, nearly knocking them off their feet. The earth shook. Without looking back, Karnage knew that somewhere behind the veil of creeper there was a worm hurtling towards them.

“Over here!” Sydney pointed to a set of concrete steps poking out of the creeper. She raced up the stairs and pushed the vines aside, revealing a metal door. She pulled on the knob, and the hinges squeaked in protest. It opened a fraction of an inch. Karnage stuck his fingers through the opening, and together they yanked the door open. A green ball burned a tunnel through the creeper behind them. They caught a glimpse of squiggly crimson head as they ran through the door.

It was a steam tunnel.

They ran blindly down the corridor. They could hear the clattering of squidbug claws on the concrete, and on the giant pipe running beside them. Karnage looked down at the pipe, and watched the stencilled words fly by on its surface as he ran. The words flew by in sync with the squidbug’s clattering: caution-steam-hot-cautionsteam-hot-caution-steam-hot.

Karnage looked at Sydney’s back through the gloom getting smaller and smaller. She was pulling ahead. Karnage was starting to slow. His muscles burned; he wasn’t as young as he used to be. He heard the squidbugs getting closer behind them, their claws clacking along the pipe: caution-steam-hot-caution-steam-hot-caution-steamhot. Sydney turned. “Come on, Major! You can do it!” Karnage shook his head. His shoulder was starting to ache. He stopped and caught his breath. The clacking along the pipe grew louder: caution-steam-hot-caution-steam-hot-caution-steam-hot. Sydney stopped running. “What are you stopping for? Come on, let’s go!”