Gord Zajac - Major Karnage

Karnage gripped the jeep’s rusted fender and pulled himself up. The fender ripped off, leaving an edge of gleaming sharp metal. Karnage hefted it like a machete, and turned to face The Worm.

The Worm was on the other side of the arena, just coming out of a turn. It barrelled back towards him like an angry bullet train, its teeth circling its open mouth like a carnivorous black hole.

Karnage vaulted out of the way just as The Worm bore down on him. He reached out and grabbed a handful of tentacles as it blurred past. Pain shot through his arm as he was wrenched off his feet. The tentacle-like hairs whipped and lashed at his arm, wrapping around his limbs. Their grip was weak enough that Karnage could break it. In fact, rather than impeding him, they gave him better purchase on The Worm’s flank, allowing him to stick to its side like velcro.

The Worm twitched and writhed, trying to throw Karnage off. Karnage felt like a mouse riding an epileptic elephant. He’d had to free solo climb before, but never on an angry rock face that was hellbent on bucking him off.

The world suddenly spun and Karnage saw the ground hurtling towards him. Karnage dove off The Worm, just clearing its massive girth as it slammed its side into the ground. Karnage tumbled away as The Worm rolled and writhed on the ground like a dog trying to scratch its flea-ridden back. It flopped back onto its belly with frightening speed, and shot clear across the arena.

Karnage struggled to his feet. He watched as The Worm banked and turned; the hard-packed earth bucked and roiled in its wake. Wrecked military gear flew in all directions as The Worm ploughed through it, barrelling towards Karnage. It’s too fast, Karnage thought. It’s too damn fast!

Karnage hefted the torn fender in his fist. His ankle throbbed. Probably twisted. He couldn’t run anymore. He stood his ground, rusted fender at the ready. The Spragmites screamed and hollered. Karnage stared deep into The Worm’s serrated maw. The whorl of teeth grew larger and larger, taking up all of Karnage’s vision.

A high-pitched whine—like the cry of an angry bumblebee— pierced through the cacophony. Karnage looked up. There was an explosion of concrete and sparks as a battered Dabney cruiser burst over the edge of the wall. It spiralled through the air, and slammed into The Worm’s head.

The Worm let out a horrid screech and recoiled, tumbling over itself. The cruiser bounced across the arena and rolled to a stop. The Worm’s body crashed atop the cruiser just as a tiny figure leaped clear of the wreckage. Karnage smiled.

It was Sydney.

She ran up to Karnage. “You all right?”

“I’ll live.” Karnage tried to walk towards The Worm, but the pain in his ankle was too much and he crashed to the ground. Sydney helped him up.

“Where are you going?”

Karnage shook his head. “I have to do this. Now. Help me. Please.” Sydney propped Karnage up as he half-limped, half-hopped towards the massive beast. The Worm rocked itself, moaning horribly. Karnage grabbed its side, and started climbing. The tentacles made a half-hearted attempt to stop him, but they barely had any strength left. Karnage quickly scaled The Worm’s bulk and emerged onto its head.

The horn was the size of a small tree. The cruiser had mostly torn it from its base. It lolled from side to side as if in a drunken stupor. Yellow smoke spewed from the wound. It smelled like a cross between nicotine and car exhaust. Karnage wrapped his arms around the horn and pulled.

The Worm screeched. It suddenly found new energy as it bucked and writhed, trying to throw Karnage off. Karnage wrapped his arms and legs around the horn. His weight tore it further and further as The Worm writhed more and more frantically. Karnage’s sweaty hands started to slip. His strength was leaving him. He dug his nails into the horn’s scaly surface. He had to outlast The Worm. Stay the course, soldier! Stay the course!

There was a wrenching snap, and Karnage and the horn toppled down The Worm and slammed into the ground. The Worm convulsed, contorted, then went limp. Smoke spewed from its mouth.

Karnage felt an arm on his shoulder. It was Sydney. She twirled a set of handcuffs on her finger.

“What are those for?”

“You’re under arrest.”

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” Karnage said.

“Nope,” Sydney said. “Not kidding. Not kidding at all.”

Spragmites poured into the arena. They were fast approaching Karnage and Sydney. “Captain,” Karnage said, “may I respectfully suggest that this ain’t the best time for you to be slappin’ a pair of cuffs on me.”

Sydney eyed the approaching horde, and tucked away her handcuffs. “You mind telling me what’s going on here?”

“It’s kinda complicated,” Karnage said.

“Try me.”

“Me killin’ the worm was supposed to get me outta here.”

“Why don’t you sound like it worked?”

“Somethin’ tells me you might have screwed things up.”

“What? That thing where I saved your life?” Sydney said. “Sorry about that. Won’t happen again. Promise.”

The Spragmites surrounded them. Some stared at The Worm in awe. Others stared at Karnage and Sydney. Some in reverence. Others in fury. Among them was the High Prophet. He pushed through the crowd. A phalanx of D-pads followed him. He pointed an accusing finger at Sydney. “Interloper! You dare interfere in the affairs of Spragmos?! You will pay for this outrage!”

“What is this outrage you speak of, High Prophet?” All eyes turned to see Tristan standing amongst the crowd. Those near her backed away in surprise and fear.

The High Prophet’s eyes narrowed. “I should have known. They are in league with the Blasphemer!”

“I am in league with no one, High Prophet.” Tristan turned to the crowd. “You all saw, as I. Just when it seemed certain The Worm would not find this man worthy, this woman burst through the heavens like a saviour, as if sent by Spragmos himself—”

“Lies!” shouted the High Prophet.

Tristan turned her wondering gaze to the High Prophet. Her tone remained even. “Why such hostility, High Prophet? Are you filled with uncertainty for the future now that the Prophecy has been fulfilled? Do you fear the change the Lightbringer signifies? Do you fear the True Path?”

“I fear nothing. And he is not the Lightbringer!”

“No,” Tristan said. “He is not. They both are.”

The crowd gasped. The High Prophet sneered. “More lies! The Scripture only speaks of one Lightbringer, not two!”

“Your interpretation of the Scripture is meaningless, High Prophet.” She turned to the crowd. “Spragmos has spoken. The Worm is The Word, and The Worm has chosen.”

A few voices in the crowd called out “Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

The High Prophet waved frantically for silence. “No! My people, do not be fooled!” He pointed an accusing finger at Karnage and Sydney. “These two are blasphemers! Heretics come to destroy The Word and The Worm! Come to destroy Spragmos himself! Awaken The Worm within you, and you will see the truth as it has been revealed to me!”

“But The Worm is The Word,” Tristan said. “There is no other truth to be revealed. There is no need to try to read further into what has occurred. The Worm has spoken. They are the Lightbringer.”

“No!” The High Prophet shouted. “They cheated!”

“You can’t cheat The Worm. And The Worm is The Word.”

A larger chorus of voices picked up the chant: “Mama-oo-powpow!”

“Don’t lecture me about The Word! I know more about the Scriptures than you could ever—”

An ear-splitting alarm cut through the air.

“What the hell is that?” Sydney shouted.