Gord Zajac - Major Karnage

They took Karnage down through a series of corridors and several flights of stairs. They stopped for a bit in a stairwell while Sydney grabbed a heavy duffel bag from a utility closet.

“What’s in the bag?“ Karnage said.

“Emergency supplies,” Sydney said. “You know, just in case.”

“In case of what?”

“In case you get out of line.”

“The gun ain’t enough?”

“Not if I still want you alive.”

They led Karnage down several more flights of stairs. Karnage noted every twist and turn, committing it all to memory. He’d be able to find his way back blindfolded if need be. No matter what happened, no matter how things went down, he’d do his damnedest to make sure he got Stumpton out of there. He was one of his soldiers now. The only way he’d leave him was under pain of death.

And what about the others? Karnage twinged with a pang of guilt. Velasquez. Cookie. Koch. Heckler. They all needed him, too. He’d wasted too much time already. No telling what those aliens were doing to them.

Karnage had plenty of time to observe his captors as they led him into the bowels of the building. Tiny and Chuckles were fools. All brawn and no brains. Karnage suspected they’d made their careers putting on the tough guy act without ever having to play the part. They relied on their size to do all their work for them. It was probably why Sydney was able to exert such exacting control over them. Her existence defied their sense of logic. How could anything that small be that strong? When the time came, they’d be no threat to Karnage. They’d go down easy.

Sydney was another matter. Her movements were incredibly precise. Not a motion wasted. He’d have to be careful. If he hadn’t been a single Sanity Level away from blowing his head off, he could have used Chuckles and Tiny as a diversion to get clear of Sydney. But for now he was helpless.

Karnage fumed. How long did it take him to downgrade a Sanity Level? He hadn’t a clue. He cursed himself for not paying closer attention. You’re gettin’ sloppy, you old fool. You can’t keep going off halfcocked like this! Your troopers are counting on you. Cookie, Velasquez, Heckler, Koch. And now Stumpton, too. What the hell happened to your military discipline?

“We’re here.”

The corridor they stood in was poorly lit. A single fluorescent bulb clung to a flickering half-life in the middle of the hall. At the far end, Karnage could make out a battered wooden door locked with a heavy padlock. Sydney fished a key from the duffel bag and unlocked the padlock. She opened the door, one hand on the doorknob and one hand holding her pistol level with Karnage. She motioned with her pistol.

“After you,” she said.

“You’re too kind.” Karnage walked into the darkness, conscious of Sydney’s pistol pointing at his mid-section.

The door closed behind Karnage with a loud thunk. The world went black for a second. There was the flick of a light switch, and an incandescent light bulb popped to life above Karnage’s head. The sickly yellow glow reflected off the cracked cinder block walls and rusting furnace in the corner. The air was thick with the smell of dust and mould.

“Cozy,” Karnage said.

“Used to be called the hospitality suite,” Sydney dropped the duffel bag by the door and rolled up her sleeves. “Used to bring suspects down here when they needed a little extra encouragement to confess.”

“Aggressive interrogation,” Karnage said.

“You’re familiar with the technique?”

“A little too familiar,” Karnage said.

Sydney pulled off her boots. “You gonna give Tiny here any trouble when he uncuffs you?”

Karnage felt the weight of the Sanity Patch on his neck. “Won’t lay a finger on him.”

Sydney nodded. “You heard the man. Uncuff him.”

Tiny didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure, Sydney? I mean—”

Tiny froze. Sydney had placed a finger against his shoulder. She leaned in close to his ear. “Un. Cuff. Him.”

She pulled her finger away. Tiny staggered backward, gasping. He shot Sydney a fearful glance, then approached Karnage warily, and uncuffed him.

Karnage rubbed his wrists. “You mind telling me what this is all about?”

Sydney pulled off her socks and wiggled and stretched her toes. “I worked hard to get this command. Fought tooth and nail. Had to fight twice as hard as any bloke half as good. Old boy’s network. You know how it is. Even then, the best I got was this lousy outpost on the outskirts of civilization. Most of the men out here are rejects from elsewhere. Worst of the worst. The armpit of the force.”

“Hey!” Tiny said.

“Nothing personal, Tiny. You know it’s true.”

Tiny hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah.”

“But I did what I could,” Sydney was stretching her calves. “Weeded out the cops on the take. Brought in much-needed discipline. Whipped this place into shape. We weren’t top in the region, but we did all right.”

Sydney pressed her leg against the wall, doing a vertical leg split. “Then Brass calls. Tells me some nutty combat vet is loose in my district. Dangerous stuff. A real menace to society. And I’m thinking, finally, here’s my chance to show them what my boys can do. But Brass has got other ideas. They think this might be more than old Sydney can handle. So they bring in this guy Riggs. A real up-and-comer, they tell me. Real hot shot. Bees knees. ‘He’s got the inside scoop on this Karnage fella. You’re gonna love him,’ they tell me. ‘Just wait until you meet him.’

“So old Riggs shows up. And he tells me he’s been given my command. Temporarily, of course. Just until this whole Karnage affair is dealt with. So why don’t I go sit back, grab a tea, and let the Real Men deal with things in the meantime. And he’ll be sure to give me back my command when he’s done with it. Honest. There’s a good girl.”

“Sounds harsh,” Karnage said.

“I am, of course, paraphrasing.”

“That still don’t explain why I’m here.”

Sydney sat down, braced her fingers against the floor, then lifted her body, balancing her weight on her fingertips. “It’s like this: Brass claims you’re more than old Sydney can handle.” Sydney bounced on her fingers a couple of times. Once resettled, she was balancing on just her pinky fingers. “And I aim to prove them wrong.”

“And you’re gonna do that how?”

“By kicking your ass,” Sydney said. “In a fair fight, of course.”

“That doesn’t sound too rational.”

“Never said it was, mate.” Sydney stood up and stretched her neck. She bounced on her toes. “You ready?”

Karnage felt the weight of the Sanity Patch against his neck. “I’d be up for this more in the morning.”

“You trying to be funny?”

“I couldn’t be more serious.”

“Sorry, mate. We don’t got all night. Just do your best. I’ll go easy on you at first. Let you get warmed up.”

“You’re too kind.”

“Thanks. Don’t let that get around.”

“Won’t tell a soul.”

“Appreciate it.” Sydney shook her body out, then lowered into a crouch. She stuck out her pinkies like she was holding twin cups of tea, and rose to the tips of her toes. She nodded once. “Here we go.”

And then she was on him.

Fingers and toes flew at Karnage with blinding speeds. Karnage dodged, bobbed, danced and weaved. Once he was too slow and a pinkie brushed his side. His vision exploded in black dots as pain shot through him. He gasped and struggled to stay upright enough to dodge a follow-up baby toe heading for his neck.

He’d never seen anyone move like this before. It was like a martial arts version of shiatsu. Sydney knew all the right pressure points to cause extreme pain in the body. It was brilliant. It was like ballet, except it didn’t suck. Sydney’s every move was graceful. The lines of her attack were beautiful. Karnage had never enjoyed fighting someone so much in his life.