D. Walker - The Snacking Dead

Здесь есть возможность читать онлайн «D. Walker - The Snacking Dead» весь текст электронной книги совершенно бесплатно (целиком полную версию без сокращений). В некоторых случаях можно слушать аудио, скачать через торрент в формате fb2 и присутствует краткое содержание. Город: New York, Год выпуска: 2013, ISBN: 2013, Издательство: Clarkson Potter/Publishers, Жанр: Кулинария, на английском языке. Описание произведения, (предисловие) а так же отзывы посетителей доступны на портале библиотеки ЛибКат.

The Snacking Dead: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

Предлагаем к чтению аннотацию, описание, краткое содержание или предисловие (зависит от того, что написал сам автор книги «The Snacking Dead»). Если вы не нашли необходимую информацию о книге — напишите в комментариях, мы постараемся отыскать её.

For fans of AMC’s
, Max Brooks, and all things zombies, the clever creators of
hack a new parody cookbook filled with snacks for every occasion, tips for cooking under duress, and a love story that will send ripples down your spine—all accompanied by food photography that will ignite your palate. At the heart of this cookbook is Pam Beaumont, who must fight the dead and feed the living. The apocalypse is no picnic, but she survives on quick bites—and on her love for Daryl, a backwoods badass with a crossbow who reminds her that she has more than one appetite. From brain food to finger food, and from sticky sweets to killer cocktails, the 50 recipes in this cookbook parody are guaranteed to grab you.
The zombies have their snack plan—do you have yours?
Snacks include:
• Sweetish Fleshballs
• Nachos of the Living Dead
• Elbows Casserole
• Crabby Prepper Puffs
• Survivalist Hero
• Dire Ham Biscuits
• Cold-Blooded Ice Cream Sandwiches
• Gratuitous Violence Jello Mold
and more.

The Snacking Dead — читать онлайн бесплатно полную книгу (весь текст) целиком

Ниже представлен текст книги, разбитый по страницам. Система сохранения места последней прочитанной страницы, позволяет с удобством читать онлайн бесплатно книгу «The Snacking Dead», без необходимости каждый раз заново искать на чём Вы остановились. Поставьте закладку, и сможете в любой момент перейти на страницу, на которой закончили чтение.

Тёмная тема
Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

When the woman had cut down all fifteen walkers, she waved to the refugees. “Veronica?” she called.

The girl pulled her hood down over her face. OMG OMG OMFG. My mother just climbed out of an ice cream truck covered in brains.

“Ronnie! Thank goodness, I’ve been searching for you for two days. Where’s Earl?”

“Mother,” she said barely controlling her exasperation, “it’s Nica now. Not ‘Ronnie.’ ”

Please kill me now.

POSTHUMOUS RED CHILE HUMMUS

makes 2 cups

2 garlic cloves

¼ teaspoon crushed red chile flakes

1 tablespoon plus ⅓ cup olive oil

2 (15.5-ounce) cans chickpeas, drained, ⅓ cup liquid reserved

3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

1 tablespoon tahini

½ teaspoon salt, or more to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

Pinch ground cumin

Pita chips, for serving, optional

Raw veggies, for serving, optional

1 Violently smash the garlic with the side of a knife, then pull off the peels. Finely chop one garlic clove and leave the other whole. Heat a small skillet over medium heat, then add the chile flakes and let toast for 15 seconds. Add 1 tablespoon of the oil and the whole smashed garlic clove and sauté until the garlic is softened and lightly browned, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from heat.

2 In a food processor, combine the chickpeas, remaining olive oil, lemon juice, tahini, salt, chopped garlic, sautéed garlic (but not the red chile oil), and pepper to taste. Blend until smooth, adding the reserved chickpea liquid as needed, until it reaches the desired consistency.

3 Spread the hummus on a large plate and drizzle with the chile oil. Sprinkle evenly with the cumin. Serve with pita chips or raw veggies, if desired.

The Snacking Dead - изображение 15Most people will leave canned chickpeas behind, so look in the back of abandoned cupboards.

HOW IT CRUMBLES

“H ow are we ever gonna get past them?”asked Trey. “They’ll smell us right off.”

The duffel bag containing Pam’s vital ingredients and cooking tools was right where she had dropped it. But it was surrounded by a milling throng of her deceased former neighbors.

They’d had to leave the FEMA center. The food was all gone, except for a wedge of overripe Camembert. Coffee-deprived refugees started to resemble walkers themselves, and the one or two who wandered out to look for a Starbucks never returned.

So they packed up Trey’s pizza delivery van and the ice cream truck, after disabling its loudspeaker, and returned to Pam’s house to try to rescue the only things that might keep them from having to live on dry cereal.

“Ronnie, bring me the cheese,” said Pam.

“Mother, it’s Nica. And I’m not going near that stinky product of animal oppression.”

Pam got the Camembert herself, and she and Trey smeared themselves in the smelly ooze.

“Good lord, what a stink,” Trey said.

Gagging all the way, they crept past the confused walkers, who looked at them a little suspiciously. When they got to the duffel they found two guys in aprons, draped in rotten fish, kneeling over the gear. The two reeking pairs stared at each other.

“That’s my stuff,” Pam whispered grimly.

“Finders keepers,” said the first guy. “Man, you stink a lot worse than us.”

Neither side would let go of the duffel bag handle. Finally Pam broke the stalemate.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she said. “You give me the bag, I’ll make you some cookies. Real good ones.”

The men considered her offer.

“Deal,” one finally said. “But you better shower first, lady.”

Virulently Infectious Butterscotch Chocolate Chippers VIRULENTLY INFECTIOUS - фото 16
Virulently Infectious Butterscotch Chocolate Chippers

VIRULENTLY INFECTIOUS BUTTERSCOTCH CHOCOLATE CHIPPERS

makes 2 dozen cookies

2¼ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

1½ cups packed dark brown sugar

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

2 large eggs

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup butterscotch chips

Flaky sea salt

1 Preheat the oven to 375°F and line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.

2 In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, and salt.

3 In a large bowl with a hand mixer or in the bowl of a stand mixer, forcefully beat butter, brown sugar, and vanilla extract until creamy and subdued. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in the flour mixture. Using a spatula, fold in the chocolate and butterscotch chips. Drop dough by rounded tablespoons onto the baking sheet and sprinkle with flaky sea salt. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until cookies are nicely browned and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack to cool before serving.

The Snacking Dead - изображение 17Bring hostile survivor groups together with baskets of cookies and other treats. Baked goods are the foundation upon which future civilization will be rebuilt.

I’LL STOP THE WORLD AND MELT

“Q uick stab like that , you take his head right off,”said Trey. He gave a mock thrust of his pizza peel at a gurgling dead state trooper. “Meanwhile the pole keeps ’em a few feet away.”

First you chop the head… Her first love had taught her that many years ago. She wondered where Daryl was now. Still tracking squirrels in the Blue Ridge Mountains?

Even now she could see his sleepy sexy eyes, his sleeveless shirt, the way he’d only steal quick glances at her. Once when he’d skinned a squirrel with his hatchet, he had seemed almost embarrassed for the exposed little creature. Then he ate its liver.

She could never quite tell how he felt about her, but she had known they’d had some kind of connection. He’d told her he’d always protect her from monsters. Even a chupacabra. She had believed him.

“Once we cut this squirrel up,” she had said, “how about we melt some cheese on it?”

She came out of her reverie as the undead state trooper tried to move forward between two abandoned cars on the highway. Trey just bumped him back again with the peel.

Pam was impressed, the weapon was even better than her cleaver. Trey put the peel in her hands from behind.

“Like this,” he said softly as they beheaded the man together. The state trooper’s head fell from his shoulders with a splat. She felt herself melting a little.

Why do I always fall for the bad boys?

“Now we’re done with this asshole,” she said, drawing her cleaver, “who wants quesadillas?”

DieselStrength Quesadillas DIESELSTRENGTH QUESADILLAS makes 3 splitlevel - фото 18
Diesel-Strength Quesadillas

DIESEL-STRENGTH QUESADILLAS

makes 3 split-level quesadillas (serves 6 to 8 as an appetizer)

LIME PICKLED JALAPEÑOS

Читать дальше
Тёмная тема
Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

Похожие книги на «The Snacking Dead»

Представляем Вашему вниманию похожие книги на «The Snacking Dead» списком для выбора. Мы отобрали схожую по названию и смыслу литературу в надежде предоставить читателям больше вариантов отыскать новые, интересные, ещё непрочитанные произведения.


Отзывы о книге «The Snacking Dead»

Обсуждение, отзывы о книге «The Snacking Dead» и просто собственные мнения читателей. Оставьте ваши комментарии, напишите, что Вы думаете о произведении, его смысле или главных героях. Укажите что конкретно понравилось, а что нет, и почему Вы так считаете.

x