D. Walker - The Snacking Dead

When the woman had cut down all fifteen walkers, she waved to the refugees. “Veronica?” she called.

The girl pulled her hood down over her face. OMG OMG OMFG. My mother just climbed out of an ice cream truck covered in brains.

“Ronnie! Thank goodness, I’ve been searching for you for two days. Where’s Earl?”

“Mother,” she said barely controlling her exasperation, “it’s Nica now. Not ‘Ronnie.’ ”

Please kill me now.

makes 2 cups

2 garlic cloves

¼ teaspoon crushed red chile flakes

1 tablespoon plus ⅓ cup olive oil

2 (15.5-ounce) cans chickpeas, drained, ⅓ cup liquid reserved

3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

1 tablespoon tahini

½ teaspoon salt, or more to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

Pinch ground cumin

Pita chips, for serving, optional

Raw veggies, for serving, optional

1 Violently smash the garlic with the side of a knife, then pull off the peels. Finely chop one garlic clove and leave the other whole. Heat a small skillet over medium heat, then add the chile flakes and let toast for 15 seconds. Add 1 tablespoon of the oil and the whole smashed garlic clove and sauté until the garlic is softened and lightly browned, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from heat.

2 In a food processor, combine the chickpeas, remaining olive oil, lemon juice, tahini, salt, chopped garlic, sautéed garlic (but not the red chile oil), and pepper to taste. Blend until smooth, adding the reserved chickpea liquid as needed, until it reaches the desired consistency.

3 Spread the hummus on a large plate and drizzle with the chile oil. Sprinkle evenly with the cumin. Serve with pita chips or raw veggies, if desired.

Most people will leave canned chickpeas behind, so look in the back of abandoned cupboards.

“H ow are we ever gonna get past them?”asked Trey. “They’ll smell us right off.”

The duffel bag containing Pam’s vital ingredients and cooking tools was right where she had dropped it. But it was surrounded by a milling throng of her deceased former neighbors.

They’d had to leave the FEMA center. The food was all gone, except for a wedge of overripe Camembert. Coffee-deprived refugees started to resemble walkers themselves, and the one or two who wandered out to look for a Starbucks never returned.

So they packed up Trey’s pizza delivery van and the ice cream truck, after disabling its loudspeaker, and returned to Pam’s house to try to rescue the only things that might keep them from having to live on dry cereal.

“Ronnie, bring me the cheese,” said Pam.

“Mother, it’s Nica. And I’m not going near that stinky product of animal oppression.”

Pam got the Camembert herself, and she and Trey smeared themselves in the smelly ooze.

“Good lord, what a stink,” Trey said.

Gagging all the way, they crept past the confused walkers, who looked at them a little suspiciously. When they got to the duffel they found two guys in aprons, draped in rotten fish, kneeling over the gear. The two reeking pairs stared at each other.

“That’s my stuff,” Pam whispered grimly.

“Finders keepers,” said the first guy. “Man, you stink a lot worse than us.”

Neither side would let go of the duffel bag handle. Finally Pam broke the stalemate.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she said. “You give me the bag, I’ll make you some cookies. Real good ones.”

The men considered her offer.

“Deal,” one finally said. “But you better shower first, lady.”

makes 2 dozen cookies

2¼ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

1½ cups packed dark brown sugar

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

2 large eggs

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup butterscotch chips

Flaky sea salt

1 Preheat the oven to 375°F and line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.

2 In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, and salt.

3 In a large bowl with a hand mixer or in the bowl of a stand mixer, forcefully beat butter, brown sugar, and vanilla extract until creamy and subdued. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in the flour mixture. Using a spatula, fold in the chocolate and butterscotch chips. Drop dough by rounded tablespoons onto the baking sheet and sprinkle with flaky sea salt. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until cookies are nicely browned and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack to cool before serving.

Bring hostile survivor groups together with baskets of cookies and other treats. Baked goods are the foundation upon which future civilization will be rebuilt.

“Q uick stab like that , you take his head right off,”said Trey. He gave a mock thrust of his pizza peel at a gurgling dead state trooper. “Meanwhile the pole keeps ’em a few feet away.”

First you chop the head… Her first love had taught her that many years ago. She wondered where Daryl was now. Still tracking squirrels in the Blue Ridge Mountains?

Even now she could see his sleepy sexy eyes, his sleeveless shirt, the way he’d only steal quick glances at her. Once when he’d skinned a squirrel with his hatchet, he had seemed almost embarrassed for the exposed little creature. Then he ate its liver.

She could never quite tell how he felt about her, but she had known they’d had some kind of connection. He’d told her he’d always protect her from monsters. Even a chupacabra. She had believed him.

“Once we cut this squirrel up,” she had said, “how about we melt some cheese on it?”

She came out of her reverie as the undead state trooper tried to move forward between two abandoned cars on the highway. Trey just bumped him back again with the peel.

Pam was impressed, the weapon was even better than her cleaver. Trey put the peel in her hands from behind.

“Like this,” he said softly as they beheaded the man together. The state trooper’s head fell from his shoulders with a splat. She felt herself melting a little.

Why do I always fall for the bad boys?

“Now we’re done with this asshole,” she said, drawing her cleaver, “who wants quesadillas?”

makes 3 split-level quesadillas (serves 6 to 8 as an appetizer)

LIME PICKLED JALAPEÑOS