anonymous - The Memoirs of a Voluptuary

In penning these memoirs, it occurs to me that they may not prove an uninteresting contribution to the general body of amatory literature, as they deal with a subject not often touched upon therein the secret life of an English boarding- school. That I have not drawn an unreal picture will, I am sure, be felt by all those who can bring the light of personal experience to bear on these pages. It would not be true to say that all scholastic institutions are exactly as I have depicted, as the governing principles of these establishments differ very considerably; but there is always a strong undercurrent of eroticism present, which only needs the existence of favourable circumstances to render itself prominent on the surface as well as below it.

These preceding remarks leave it unnecessary for me to say that the present volume deals principally with my school- time, and treats of the awakening in me of the germinal instincts of sensualism and of my preliminary initiation into the Mysteries of Eros. Crude and unregulated as my ideas were in the period which I have treated of, I Cannot but have an affectionate regard for that embryonic stage, in which, indeed, I am satisfied that all the component parts of the system of passional philosophy I have since formed were present in a dormant state, and only awaited fructification in due season.

Whether I shall follow this work up by others dealing with my later life, depends upon the reception the one now under consideration will be accorded, and I shall therefore regard its career with corresponding solicitude.

I have nothing further to add in conclusion, beyond craving the reader's indulgence for the many errors and shortcomings which will doubtless be apparent to him.

Having overcome my diffidence by the few words which preface this volume, I can now plunge boldly into my tale.

My mother died in giving me birth, and by reason of this my father, Thomas Powerscourt, lord of the manor of Woodbury and deputy-lieutenant of the county of Warwickshire, imbibed a certain dislike for me, which showed itself, not indeed in harshness, but in a studied indifference to my existence. He had married my mother rather late in life, and the loss of her so soon after their Union was so much of a blow to him that he seemed determined to vent his displeasure on me, whom he unjustly regarded as in a way the author of his misfortune; and, wrapping himself up in the literary and scientific studies to which he was addicted, seemed to forget altogether that he was a parent.

I was brought up under the care of a middle-aged and kindly but somewhat taciturn Scotch nurse. None of the other servants were permitted to converse familiarly with me, and I had scarcely any young friends of my own age-none indeed, to speak correctly; so that up to the time I was past thirteen years of age I was about as innocent of the mysteries of human life as a youngster could well be, and any curiosity that I had evinced upon such matters had always been severely checked, both by my nurse and by the governess who was afterwards engaged to instill the first principles of learning into my mind.

At the period I am speaking of, however, I was sent to a boarding-school in Devonshire, and in more ways than one the change was a very eventful one for me. The school had been selected on the advice of my father's greatest friend, Colonel Rutherford, whose own son was a pupil there.

It was arranged that a day or two before going to school I should proceed to Rutherford's home, so as to travel down with him; and accordingly, in due time, I was dispatched with my luggage to Everton Grange in Wiltshire, where the Rutherfords lived.

I was greeted most kindly on my arrival, and found it a very different household from that which I had left behind, the only point of resemblance being the fact that Bob was an only child. Colonel Rutherford and his wife, Lady Florence, were both of them amiable and society-loving, and the dinner table, at which Bob and I were given seats, presented a great contrast, with the lively conversation which took place there, to the silent and gloomy meals I had been condemned to at home.

I found that it had been arranged for me to sleep with Bob for the sake of the company, and I was not altogether displeased at the prospect. He was a fairly big and well-built clad of sixteen, pleasant-mannered and good-looking, and I took a liking to him from the first.

At about ten o'clock we bade "Good-night" to the Colonel and Lady Florence, and retired to our bedroom, which was a large and very comfortable apartment at the rear of the house;

Bob talked to me very kindly as we undressed, and at length we got into bed. The feeling of strangeness which is natural amid new surroundings kept me from feeling very sleepy, while Bob still continued his animated chat. At last there came a pause in the conversation, and I was beginning to wonder whether Bob would put out the night, or let it stay on all night, when I felt his hand wander down, pull up my nightshirt and rest on my thighs; He did not make any further movement for a time, apparently waiting to see whether I should say or do anything in response. However, finding I remained quite still and silent, Bob threw off the bedclothes, and next instant was kneeling over me.

"Don't get in a funk," he said, smiling; "I only want to have a look at you," and getting hold of my nightshirt, he began to pull it off. I made a faint resistance with my hands, scarcely knowing what I was doing, so much was I taken by surprise, but he gently though firmly overcame my efforts, and, unbuttoning the garment at the neck and wrists, deftly drew it over my head, leaving me lying on the bed quite naked.

"I say! You are a fine little chap, Charlie," he said, and, sitting down beside me, he let his eyes rove all over my body with very evident. admiration, and passed his hands caressingly over my breast and legs and arms.

I said or did nothing, overcome by the strangeness of the situation, but let him do as he liked, and his examination of me seemed to give him great pleasure, for he persisted in it for quite a long time, making remarks about the smoothness of my skin, the soft fleshiness of my limbs, and so on, till I. thought he would never stop.

At length he made me turn over, and ran his fingers all over my back; my neck and my calves. Presently, turning me on my back again, he lay down by my side, with his right arm round my neck; and we stayed so for a minute; then his left hand stole down, crept slowly over my belly, and came to a halt between my legs.

"What a jolly little cock you've got, Charlie," said he, as his fingers took hold of the member in question and began to toy with it; "and a fine little pair of balls, too," he went on, feeling them.

I was still silent. I had never experienced anything of this sort before, and, though I did not feel sure whether it was wrong or not, a keen sensation of pleasure came over me, suggestive of some extraordinary enjoyment connected with the parts he touched.

Finding that I did not protest, he raised himself up, saying, "I must have a better look at it," and, kneeling down at the foot of the bed, he bent forward and gloated over me with eyes and fingers in an ecstasy of delight, while I lay with my head back on the pillow, full of this new joy that had taken possession of me.

How long we were so I do not know, but presently there was a downward motion on his part, and next moment I was conscious of a warm feeling between my thighs. Looking down, I saw to my intense astonishment that he had taken my cock into his mouth, and was sucking it with the greatest avidity. Then I found my voice.

"What are you doing?" I whispered. He lifted his head.