Michael Smith: Siblings

"The two of you have never been able to tell anyone about your feelings for each other, have you? When we all feel more comfortable – when you two are comfortable about my knowing your secret, I mean – would you, if you want to, would you tell me about it?" She touched my cheek and seemed amazed at the tears she found there.

We lay for awhile longer in our warm embrace but neither of us was ready to sleep, not now. Eventually, I climbed to my feet and lifted Connie to hers. She clung to me and I stroked her and hugged her yet again.

"We have to talk, don't we?" she said somberly. "All three of us, I mean."

"Yep. And we should do it now. Somehow, I doubt that Alex is asleep."

We walked into the bedroom still naked, arms around each other. As I expected, Alex was sprawled on her back, hands tucked behind her pillow and eyes lazily half-open. The sheet came only to her waist and her naked breasts shimmied in the way I loved as she scooted up into a sitting position. Both of us must have appeared apprehensive because Alex gave us a fond smile and held out her arms.

We climbed onto the bed on either side of her and she pushed the cover down so all of us could be comfortably naked together. My sister looked uncommonly pleased with herself, as if she had personally engineered my reunion with Connie. Then she took the other girl's hands and interlaced their fingers. It was an affectionate gesture of acceptance and I began to relax. This was going to work.

Alex looked Connie up and down, taking in her smooth, trim diver's body, and the lustrous black hair floating around her shoulders, and her suddenly shy smile.

"Connie, when I first saw you at the airport, I told my brother you were absolutely beautiful – my exact words – and I understood why he was so taken with you." Connie and I exchanged glances at the words "my brother" and Alex didn't miss that, either. Her smile became even warmer and softer.

"Yeah, I knew he'd tell you: He had to. I know how his mind works and he's not capable of lying to someone he really cares about." Her face became more solemn. "Do you love him?"

Connie studied my sister's face and nodded slowly, and swallowed.

Alex was blinking tears and at first I didn't understand. Then she squeezed Connie's hands, and gulped, and said "Thank you! I'm so glad!" She quickly pulled the smaller girl to her and hugged her tightly as they overbalanced back against the pillow. Connie was sobbing quietly with happiness and relief. I knew my face was trembling with the pent-up emotion of the moment as I sat there cross-legged and gazed at the only two people in the world whom I really cared about.

We spent the rest of that first night sandwiched together on the bed and we all seemed to take turns being in the middle. Once, when I rose to half-wakefulness, I found Connie stretched out along Alex's other side, her leg cast loosely over my sister's thigh; their hair was a tangled auburn-and-black puddle spread across the pillow. My arm was flung across Alex's midriff, my fingers brushing Connie's hip.

I knew I didn't deserve to be as happy as I was, and I knew there would be problems if we really did undertake to establish a three-way partnership. I knew I would never lose Alex… and I hoped I wouldn't lose Connie. Our public deception would become more complicated, even after Connie returned to Honolulu. But we could deal with all that as the need arose. I stroked Connie's flank once, lightly, so as not to waken her, and drifted back to sleep.

We slept late the next morning, which was Saturday, and when we finally began to stir I found myself in the middle of the sandwich. I turned my head and my nose brushed Alex's cheek. I nuzzled her ear and spoke as quietly as I could.

"Sweetheart, you are, without exception, the most wonderful woman in the history of the world." I meant it, too. "I'm still not quite sure what happened last night – but I know you're the key to it. Thank you…"

I turned her face with one fingertip and kissed her, long and slow. I thought back over all the years we had struggled together to nurture this love between us and I tried to communicate those memories and my love through my lips to hers. We not only understood each other's desires, we accepted and shared them. Alex seemed to melt into my body. How could two people, even siblings and lovers, be any closer?

My sister opened her eyes and raised her head just enough to peer across my body. She smothered a laugh and pointed with her chin. I turned to see what was so funny. Connie lay on her back with her neck arched, her eyes screwed tightly shut, and her lips puckered in a cartoon-kiss.

"Hey," I said softly as I hugged her against me. "We don't do that here."

She kept the pose but opened one eye and batted her lashes at me. "Nyeu?" she inquired brightly through pursed lips.

"No. We do this." I buried my free hand in her hair and descended on that full, inviting mouth, kissing her as thoroughly as I had Alex. She, too, seemed to melt against me, returning the kiss with tender single-mindedness. And I felt my sister's long fingers softly caressing my shoulders and neck. Alex was sending me a message I understood very well: This is the way it should be, she was saying. Accept it and don't worry about the future.

When the lengthy mutual surrender between myself and this miniature goddess with the ancient eyes finally reached a satisfactory conclusion (that is, we had to come up for air), both girls sat up spontaneously and reached across me to each other. Slender hands moved over new territory, touching hair and cheeks and collarbones. Then their lips joined, each woman wanting and needing to communicate her emotions directly. They leaned closer so that their nipples brushed together.

Their kiss was tender and beautiful and, watching them silently, I discovered a new array of emotions I'd never felt before. They were so different in so many ways and I wondered if I was the bridge between them. Each was undeniably heterosexual, yet the closeness of their bodies and the fusion of their lips and the writhing of their tongues seemed obvious and entirely natural. Each girl spread her hands across the other's breasts, each ran her fingers through the other's hair, and the kiss went on and on.

I understood that this was a first for both of them – and that what they were sharing didn't extend to other women. It was unique between themselves. And I was a part of it, too. Finally, slowly, they parted and settled back on folded knees, blinking at each other in amazement, and smiling, and weeping silently. They held tight to each other's hands across me and I was careful not to interrupt the moment.

"Michael and I have always had each other," Alex began slowly. "But there's never been anyone else we could really share ourselves with. We've become like one person over the years, Connie. And it was so lonely, sometimes, being shut out of the world by ourselves. But now…" She couldn't finish so I completed her thought – which, of course, was also mine.

"But now there's you, Connie." I gently stroked her thigh, and Alex's. "Now there's two of us… or three, however you want to look at it." Alex swallowed and nodded agreement. "You're like the third leg of a tripod, Connie – giving us a stability we never knew we needed. Until now. And we*both* love you for it." My mind was leading me down a new pathway even as I spoke.

"Remember, in San Diego, you said you were distrustful of commitments because you weren't sure if you could love only one person? Now you don't have to be afraid. Love us both and let us both love you – that's twice as much love as any 'normal' person is likely to find."

Both of them were watching me and listening, and the bed was becoming damp with tears. I sat up, cross-legged, and put one arm around each girl's shoulders. They did the same, interlocking all three of us in an embrace of acceptance and understanding. Three heads touching, three pairs of hands clutching, three bodies, each leaning against the others -one person in three forms. It was what we all desired, now that we began to comprehend what had happened. We might be physically separated but never again would Alex, Connie, or I ever be alone.