Joan Kelly - Rape me!

"Lorrie… Christ!"

He was so big, so heavy. A door slammed. Had I imagined it? Tony, getting up. My eyes so heavy… I tried to look at him. He was putting on his pants, now his shirt. He was hurrying. Why was he hurrying?

"Ohhh, what did you do to me?" My cunt still pulsed with the convulsions Tony's fucking had created. He had worse than raped me, he'd made me come with him. His sperm was cooling on my belly now, and I strained my legs against the rawhide. Tony's knife flicked out from the scabbard on his belt, the blade unfolded with a snick. This was the end. He was going to… The blade slashed each thong, cut quickly through the belt of my robe. Then, almost before I could move, he slashed downward at the screen covering my window. It parted and he pushed a foot through, sat for a second on the sill. Someone was in the trailer now, I could hear footsteps. Mother… my mother!

Tony looked at me, smiled his half and half smile. I thought he was going to say something, but he turned instead and pushed on out of my room. Weakly I rubbed the red cuts around my ankles where the tongs had been. Footsteps in the ball now.

"Lorrie?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"You feeling all right?"

"I was tired, I decided to take a nap."

"Maybe I should take your temperature."

"Oh, no, I'm okay. I'll be up in a little bit."

"I thought we'd have soup for lunch. Wouldn't you like that?"

"That would be fine." I fell back on my bed. Thank God the door was locked. But why did that matter? Hadn't I been raped? Shouldn't I tell my mother, tell the police? No. Wit that cum drying on my belly, my cunt swollen out and smeared with blood, I felt like a leper. It had all happened so fast… how… why? Tony couldn't have planned it. I tried to remember the morning, my bath, the white powder on my body. I brushed hair from my eyes, choked back a sob. All my life I'd heard of women who'd been raped. And now…

I cleaned the mess from my body. My cunt looked as if it had been whipped. I could see the angry place where Tony had pushed his cock into me. Now there was a hole for other cocks.

No, no! What had I been as a virgin that I wasn't any more? For one thing I could still remember how his heavy meat had felt stretching my cunt wide. I remembered it all too well.

When my mother was puttering at the stove, I slipped into the bathroom and got the shower going. I scrubbed every inch of my skin, scrubbed away Tony's touch, his spit, his sperm that by now had caked along my stomach and in the shallow well of my navel. Only then did I realize that he had pulled his cock out of my cunt for a reason. He had waited until the last minute and taken his prick from my raped pussy and pumped it against my belly while the hot seed boiled out. But no, he couldn't have cared. He was a drifter and I'd never see him again. And I couldn't ever tell anyone in the world what had happened either. If I had screamed when he was getting out the window, if I'd called for my mother and yelled rape, then… But not now. And I didn't know why I had let him go. Except for the shame I felt, the awful hurt of losing my virginity to a no-good stranger who would be out of the state before the day was over.

I lathered the soap and washed every crevice of my body for the third time. My cunt was so tender that I had to dab at it gently, but I made sure it was clean from the musky touch of Tony's cock. Mom had lunch on the table when I came out.

"I want to go to church with you this Sunday… to the eleven-o'clock service." I bit a cracker, didn't look up at my mother's face.

"Well, I think that's wonderful, Lorrie. But I guess I'm a little surprised that you've asked."

"I just think I'm old enough to… to understand maybe about that kind of thing." I looked at my soup. I wasn't very hungry.

"We'll unpack your white dress, the one I bought for you last month. I always thought you'd look wonderful in it. And we'll buy some white gloves and…" She gave me a motherly look. "Lottie, are you sure nothing is wrong?"

I shook my head hard. "No, nothing at all."

"I'll admit I've always been a little afraid that you'd take after your father when it came to religion. But I was careful not to press too hard, I knew you'd refuse to even go to Sunday school if I started harping…" She took a spoonful of soup, dabbed her mouth with a paper napkin. "I'm thrilled that you came out and asked me like this. I've met the young preacher at the church, and he's a very interesting person. I'm sure you'll enjoy hearing his sermon this coming Sunday and maybe I'll mention your interest and we can think about baptism."

"I just said I wanted to go to church with you, Mom."

She patted my hand. "Of course. There I go getting pushy."

We finished eating in silence. I went back to my room and closed the door. The curtains on the window would hide the screen until I could think of what to do about it. I could just say I'd lost the tie to my robe and throw it away with the leather thongs. Mother would never understand how it had gotten cut like that, no matter how big a lie I told. I slumped on my bed. Yes, I was telling lies, hiding things as if I'd committed a crime. At least no one could tell what had happened to me. They couldn't just look at my eyes and tell I'd been fucked, could they? I lay staring at the ceiling. I stared for a long, long time.

A week passed. I went to church with my mother and sat in a hardwood pew while Reverend Dixon talked and talked and talked. About sin? Yes, I guess that was what he was saying but it wasn't easy to concentrate. I tried. Oh, God how I tried! But even not understanding or caring about his sermon, I felt better for having sat there and endured it. We were standing in front of the church, Mom, Mrs. Caruthers, Janey and me when I saw the red blazer drive by. The windshield was cracked, fenders dented… it was Tony driving all right. My mother was staring at me when I glanced back.

"Is something wrong, honey?"

"What?"

"You look pale. I was wondering if the sun…"

"No, I'm fine." I swallowed, saw the blazer turn the corner on Amherst Street and disappear. The feeling inside me was so unfamiliar I didn't know what to call it. Panic was part of it… and something else. Janey smiled, pushed blonde hair out of her eyes, too caught up in her own world to worry about anyone else.

"Hey, Lorrie, you gonna help at the church picnic this afternoon?"

"I guess so."

"Jimmy's been asking about you." She winked to let me know that everything was cool as far as that night at the drive-in was concerned.

Mom glanced my way. "Jimmy is one of those nice MacInnes boys, isn't he? The boy you dated."

"Yes, Mom." I was afraid Tony's red blazer might appear again. I wanted to get away. Janey wrinkled her nose and bounced excitedly.

"I'm gonna be working at the pop stand," she said. "You can help me there if you want."

"Sure." I was lukewarm about the whole thing, but since the picnic was being sponsored by the church and I was going regularly, I knew I'd be expected to help. It was supposed to happen at the old Elks' hall out by the lake. I'd never been there of course, but Janey told me it was neat.

"Be sure and bring your swim suit," she called as I was getting in the car, "and your sunglasses and…"

"Oh, come on, Janey," Mrs. Caruthers said, pulling her along the sidewalk.

Not many people were there yet when we arrived. I helped Janey put a couple of cases of pop into the big cooler and stack the cartons of paper cups. It was sunny and warm and I was in a little better mood. At least I hadn't seen Tony or his blazer again. He didn't seem like the type to come to a church picnic either.

"Love your outfit," Janey told me. I'd worn a pair of cut-off jeans and a little halter top I'd made out of the legs when I cut them off to make the shorts. Underneath was my bikini. A yellow bikini that was really too skimpy for me to feel comfortable in. But I didn't plan to swim much anyway. I hadn't had much sun yet this summer, and knew I'd get burned if I hung out near the water very long. Janey had a pair of shorts over her bikini but wore her top by itself, a skimpy little thing made out of bandanna material. She didn't have all that much to hide.