Dorsai - Jan

I know that what I did was wrong, and that the way you choose to treat me is what I deserve for what I've done. Kelly is – was – my friend, and you've made her happier than I've ever seen her. For that, I should have respected you, and honored the relationship you have with her. Instead, I abused her, and through her, you. You deserve better, by a long shot.

Whether you forgive me or not, whether you give me another chance, or not, I want you to know that I want to do anything I can to make it right."

At that, she sat back a bit, and simply looked at me, her face wet from her tears – ready to accept whatever judgment I chose to impose.

I thought about what she'd said, and asked her "When you were talking to Kelly, you said that you had learned that what people do in their lives is their business, and no one else's; and that you'd learned it the hard way. What did you mean?"

She didn't hesitate to answer "Because after Jan and Kelly had their talk with me and the other girls, Kathy and Mary Alice started trying to pump me and Kim for information about what we'd talked about. Kim was willing to talk about it, a little, but I wasn't, and they just kept*after* me about it – until I finally told them – 'scuse me – to just fuck off and leave me alone. It was like I was the only one that actually felt bad about what had happened. Since then, Kim is staying away from them more, too; I think she's sorry about what she did, but doesn't want to push about trying to make up. I mean, we kinda heard, a little, about what happened with Kathy and Mary Alice – you scared the hell out of them, and none of us wants to do anything to actually make you mad, you know?"

"So if you didn't want to make me mad, what made you think you could talk to me?" I asked.

"I didn't know if you would actually get mad, or not – I just knew that I felt bad about what happened, and that I really needed to apologize to all of you. I don't mean that I needed to apologize for me, but I needed to because it was the right thing to do." she answered, with a sniffle.

I sat there for a couple of minutes, thinking about what she'd told me, while I watched her. She glanced at Jan and Kelly a few times, but I was the focus of her attention.

Finally, I spoke to her again.

"Robyn, you're right. What you did was wrong, and it hurt all of us -you included. That you had the courage to make the apologies you did counts for something. That you were willing to come here to do it counts for even more."

She nodded as I went on "I think that you have learned something, and yes, learned it the hard way. When you said that you needed to apologize because it was the right thing to do, you showed me that you learned something, and grew up a little in the process."

She sniffled a little, and I continued, "Everyone makes mistakes.

Sometimes, we don't appreciate something until it's gone – like I didn't appreciate how much I cared for, and even loved, Kelly, until she was afraid to come over here after what you and the others had done. The thing about these kinds of mistakes is to learn not to repeat them, or anything like them. It sounds to me like you have."

I could see her visibly relax slightly, and said "I can't speak for Jan or Kelly, obviously. But I think that I'm willing to forgive your foolishness, and even give you another chance – to make things right, as you put it."

She all but collapsed in the chair in her relief.

I had to caution her "Just because I've accepted your apology, don't think you're off the hook. I'm not the one you hurt the most. The ones you need to worry about are Kelly and Jan – IF you can get past them, only then do you start with a clean slate with me. If they don't accept your apologies, then what*I* have to say isn't going to matter much."

With that, she turned to look first at Jan, then Kelly.

They, in turn, were looking at each other – communicating silently their faces impassive. Then both looked at me for a bit before turning to Robyn.

Jan spoke first, saying "I accept your apology. You're right, we have known each other for a long time, and I don't think that you really meant to hurt us. And if you can convince Uncle Dan to give you a second chance, then I think I can give you one, too – we've been friends too long for me not to."

After than, Robyn turned to Kelly, who just looked at her for a few moments before saying "Yes, you did hurt me – a lot. You knew what my life was like, and how happy I was to have met Dan. And you pissed on it anyway."

Robyn blinked at that, and started to look nervous before Kelly went on, telling her "But I agree with Dan – I think you have learned a hard lesson. I accept your apology, because I really do think you're sorry for what you did. But it's going to be a long time before I trust you again the way I used to – you're going to have to earn my trust. But I'm willing to give you the chance."

At the end of that, Robyn was crying again, and it was through her tears – and occasional sniffle – that she was able to say "Thank you, both of you – and you, too, Dan. I'm not going to try to bullshit you with a lot of words; I'm just going to let you decide by what I do."

With that, Jan and Kelly started to cry, too, and all three of them got up to hug each other.

After a minute or so, I noticed a little whispering before I heard Kelly mutter "Well go ahead and ask him, then – he doesn't bite! At least, not hard!"

A moment later, Robyn came over to stand in front of me, with Kelly and Jan watching. Looking down at me a bit nervously, she asked "Dan, is it okay if I give you a hug, to show you how sorry I am?"

I was a bit surprised by the question, but told her "I think that would make for a nice start on our new relationship." and stood up. I was even more surprised by the ferocity with which she held me as she cried a bit into my shirt. I hugged back, gently, and patted her back softly. After a bit, she pulled back from me a way, and pulled my head down to give me a kiss on the cheek, saying "Thank you, Dan. You won't be sorry."

Looking into her eyes, I answered by saying "No, I don't think I will."

Getting a look from Kelly, I excused myself to go back into my office; when I came out a little later, Robyn had left, and Jan and Kelly were on the couch, talking.

When I came in, they separated a bit, indicating that they wanted me to sit between them. When I did, both closed in on me, snuggling into my sides as they pulled my arms around them.

Kelly was first to speak, telling me "I think she'll be okay. She's had a tough time of it, but she had the guts to make the first move and apologize."

Jan agreed, saying, "Yeah, I think so, too. She didn't try to dodge it, at all – she just accepted the responsibility, and was ready to take the punishment."

"Am I getting the impression that there might be an additional girl at the party?" I asked.

Kelly spoke up quickly, saying "No, not definitely, but there's a chance." with Jan adding, "It depends on how she does. It's still a couple weeks away, so we've got time to decide."

"Well, just make sure before you make any final decisions, okay?" was all I could add.

Both nodded their agreement, and we stayed on the couch like that for a little while, before Jan finally decided that she really had to get home. Kelly and I continued to snuggle, right up until it was time for bed.

In the days leading up to the Thanksgiving holiday, I got phone calls from the parents of the other girls that were to be at the sleepover.

The parents were thrown off a bit by the unusual situation: Jan doing the inviting, but the party being held at the home of one of Jan's friends, and that friend's middle-aged boyfriend. I had to reassure all of the them that the girls had my permission to have the sleepover, that I would be there to make sure things didn't get out of hand, and otherwise had no planned participation in the event. Thus reassured, they granted their permission.