Dorsai - Jan

She leaned in toward me a bit, and asked "So how did you figure all this stuff out? I mean, I know you're smart, but still…."

"Like I told you, I traveled a lot in Asia. Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Thailand, Singapore, Philippines, Australia, a lot of places. I watched people, and what they did. A lot of it didn't make sense from my perspective as an American, with my cultural background; so I started trying to figure out why they did what they did. As an electronics tech, I'd learned to analyze things, and look for cause and effect, and see why somebody would do one thing instead of another – what was good and bad about a particular choice in a particular situation. So I just kind of naturally applied that kind of thinking to the different cultures I was in – why would a person do a certain thing in a certain situation?

What made it a good or bad choice for them? How did their society or culture evolve to that point? How did it help them, or their culture?

That sort of thing. From there, it was a short hop to philosophy – not just the western and European stuff like Nietze and Kant and all that, but Santayana and Plato and Confucius, and even other religions. It was the 'Who am I? Why am I here?' deal that most people go through at some time or other; I just got more involved, and took it more seriously, than they do. I not only read the stuff, but looked at how it worked, too, and how it was applied. And I started looking at the things that were common, and different, between different cultures and religions and all that stuff; and what things were the same and different with people in different places and circumstances. After a lot of reading and watching and thinking, I finally managed to get it all down to something I could keep together in my mind, and started trying to live my life that way. Botched it a lot, at first, but I learned from my mistakes, and kept trying until I had it going pretty good; after that, it got easier and easier."

"What were some of the things you've learned?"

"Pretty simple stuff, really – things that just about everybody realizes at some point, or other; just not enough of them, or how to apply them."

"Such as?"

"Such as… Never let what you want or expect get in the way of what's really there. Life happens – deal with it, and move on. Until you're happy with yourself, you're not going to be happy with anyone else. Love isn't a claim ON someone, it's a gift TO them; if and how they return it is up to them. Religions get in the way of people in general, as much as they help people individually. When somebody latches onto a specific racial, or national, or any other kind of identity-grouping, they're showing that they're afraid to think for themselves – with their group of choice always being right, and everyone else being wrong, they set themselves up for a lot of hardship. Courage isn't necessarily doing what you're afraid of, it's doing what you know is RIGHT. People that are willing to sacrifice a principle don't usually have much of a principle to sacrifice in the first place. That kind of thing."

"What you said about religions getting in the way – what did you mean?"

"Did they teach you in school about the Inquisition?", I asked.

She shook her head 'no'.

"Okay, then let me ask you first what you think about Jews, in general."

"Uh, they're okay, I suppose. Most of the talk I hear in school isn't very nice."

"Okay, I want you to remember that.", I said, and went on to give her a brief history lesson before continuing "Now, if I was Jewish, how do you suppose I'd feel about that?"

She looked at me, horrified, saying "I guess you'd be pretty upset. But that happened hundreds of years ago!"

"So? The Jewish religion is thousands of years old – remember your Bible? And how it talks about Jews? They were a religion, even then. And I might point out that all Christian religions observe Easter, something that is supposed to have happened even longer ago than the Inquisition."

She looked at me, and I had to explain to her "Candice, I am not putting down your religion – I am only pointing out how it's actions have gotten in the way of how it deals with Jews as a people, even as it was giving you comfort and solace as an individual. From what I could read, most of the other major religions have had their own problems, as well."

"Then what did you mean about the race or national group thing?"

"Know any black people?"

"Sure."

"Any of them ever get so busy being Black that they forgot to be human?"

She just looked at me.

"Candice, do you treat black people any differently than others?"

"No. Well, except.." she started to say, then stopping.

"Except when they go off to do some 'black' thing.", I finished for her.

She nodded, realizing the circularity of it.

"I understand that they are black, and that the history of black people in this country – for good OR bad – isn't something to be dismissed. But as long as it's an issue, it WILL be an issue: as long as*anyone* insists on being treated differently for some reason or other, they WILL be treated differently, for that very reason. I was going into a store one time, and held the door for a woman that was a short distance behind me. When she got close, she proceeded to jump all over me about holding doors for women, and how it was sexist, and she could open her own damn doors, and all the rest of it. When she finally wound down, I simply told her 'I was holding the door for a fellow human being, as a courtesy from one person to another. I'd have done the same if you were male or female, black or white, old or young. But with that attitude, next time I'll just let it slam in your face so you can feel equal!'. She started to apologize, but I just told her that we'd already exchanged opinions, and that I had no further interest in speaking with her, and walked away to leave her standing there feeling like the fool she was."

She nodded, and I went on "If I give more compliments to women, it's because women do more to deserve them – I might see a woman with a new hairstyle, and tell her it looks nice, while ignoring the man she's with – who hasn't changed his hairstyle in twenty years. Ditto her new dress and his five-year-old suit, or the results of her health club membership and his eighty pounds of gut hanging over his belt. Otherwise, I try to treat people the same – man or woman, black or white, young or old, or any other difference you might come up with."

She nodded, telling me "I can vouch that you don't treat women any different than you do men – except in the ways that really matter!", she added with a grin, before moving closer to take me into her arms and kiss me. Hard. A lot.

When she came up for air, she grinned at me and said"I like it when you talk to me – us – but I like it even more when it's just you and me!"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Are you, uh, ready to make me a woman?"

"Not just yet, I think. Remember, I'm old, and decrepit – it takes me a little longer to recover than some young 18 year old stud."

"Hmmph. Old? Maybe, but I don't think so. Decrepit? No, I think the proper word is depraved. Maybe you're not some young stud – but I want to find out if you're an 'old' stud!", she said with a grin, adding "Okay, if you want a little more time, I'll be almost as happy to snuggle with you for a while."

"Snuggling is good, too!", I agreed, getting a grin from her before she lay against me again, her head on my shoulder. I put my arms around her as she put her hands on my shoulders; we sat there like that for several minutes, content to simply be touching each other.

Finally, she couldn't resist it any longer, and kissed my neck -followed by a soft bite. Feeling perkier, I retaliated by nibbling softly at her shoulder before taking her neck muscle between my teeth and growling as I wiggled my head. A little tickled by it, she scrunched her shoulder up and giggled, before doing the same to me – and raising the stakes by pulling her body slightly away from mine and brushing my chest with her nipples. Ill-equipped for that kind of fight, I changed tactics: sliding my hands down her body and around to her buttocks, holding them in my hands for a few moments before giving them several firm squeezes and soft caresses.