Dorsai - Full Circle

As before, the next several minutes were spent explaining to the girls what Kelly and Jan and I had thought and felt along the way. The girls also heard about my male limitations – number and frequency of climaxes – and my capabilities – that once I'd climaxed, I was able to make love longer afterwards.

When the after-action critique ended, Jan got up and went to get a washcloth and towel for Kelly and I; when she returned, Kelly and I used them before she put them in the laundry hamper. When Jan got back from that, Bonita asked her why she'd been the one to do that. Jan answered "I did it because I love them. Both of them have made me so good so many times that doing something like that for them makes me happy."

Seeing that Bonita really didn't understand, Jan explained "Kelly, and Dan, and I, and the others – we all love each other. I don't mean that we love each other the way most people do, either. We love each other consciously, and deliberately. Each of us loves the others because of all the good things we know about them. For example, I know – from my own experience – that Dan is kind and gentle and loving and patient and smart and so many other good things. I've told him that I love him, and why, just the same way that he has told me. I know what kind of person I am because I'm honest with myself – so I know that I'm a good person, the same way that I know Dan is a good person – and so is Kelly, and my other special friends. We love each other because each of us knows what kind of person we are, and what we want to be like. And because we know those things, all of us try our very best to be like that. With each of us knowing why we love the others, and knowing why the others love us, we don't have to be afraid that our love for each other is going to end or just disappear for some reason. Because we don't have to be afraid of that, we can trust each other more than you think people could trust each other; and along with that trust comes honesty – with ourselves and each other. None of us has to try and hide anything – we all know that we're not perfect. But we also know that we're always trying to make ourselves better, too; so when one of us is or does something that isn't perfect, we're honest with ourselves enough to know it, and try harder the next time. The others already know that that's what we're going to do – remember, I said we trust each other – so there isn't any reason for us to get upset with each other. Another part of that trust is that each of us knows that no matter what we do for each other, the others will be there for us, too. There's no kind of 'keeping score' with us – as long as each of us is happy, the others are happy for us. This time, I went and got the things so Dan and Kelly could clean up. Next time, Kelly or Dan will do it for me and the other one, just as they have in the past. Because I know and trust Dan, there isn't a doubt in my mind that if this part of it had ended with just me and Kelly, he would have gotten the things for us. But because he and Kelly were last, I did it for them."

Slightly puzzled, Sheri asked "You keep saying 'love'. Dan and Kelly have explained to us that love is another way of caring and all that, but I'm not sure if I really understand what you mean when you say 'love' the way you do."

"Something Dan told me very early on, and that he's told the others, is that love is when someone else's happiness means as much to you as your own." she answered.

Kelly joined in then by telling them "Something else he's said is that love isn't a claim ON someone, it should be a gift to them; and that's how we mean it when we say we love each other. I give my love to Dan and to Kelly because I think that as the kind of people they are, they deserve it. And they give me their love for the same reason: because they think I deserve it."

"How can all of you love each other like that? I mean, Kelly, don't you get jealous when Dan is with Jan or one of the others?" Evelyn asked.

Kelly just smiled and replied "We can love each other that way because there isn't any limit to the amount of love you can have for people. I don't get jealous about Dan being with Jan or any of the others because he doesn't get jealous when I'm with one of them. He makes me so happy and satisfied and content when we're together; I get all the love from him I could ever want, so why should I be upset if he still has enough inside him to love other people, too?"

I told them "What Kelly just said about the love she gets from me? That's the same way I feel about the love I get from her: it's more than enough to keep me happy and knowing that she loves me. Because I know she loves me that much, and why, there's no reason for me to be upset or jealous if she wants to be with Jan or anyone else. If you're already getting more than enough of something from someone, what possible reason could you have to be jealous if they still have some to give to another person?"

Finishing up, Jan told asked them "All of you know that your parents love you, right? Do you think that they love you any less just because they love each other, too? Its like that with us – only more so."

Put that way, I could see that the five of them could begin to see how we used the word "love". I could also see that it still didn't have quite the same meaning for them, and that they didn't really understand how we could do it. But that was okay – that's why they were there, so they could learn and understand.

After a bit, Kelly got a mischievous grin on her face and asked them "Now that you've seen the how and what of sex, do any of you want to try practicing it?"

All of them looked willing, but unsure. Sheri was the one to ask "Um, who do we start with?"

Jan smiled and answered "With whoever you want to. I think it would be better if each of us" – she gestured to include Kelly and me – "were with just one of you at a time, but other than that, who and what is up to you."

Hearing that, Sheri immediately stated "I want to be with Dan", and promptly got up to come over to where I was sitting. Taking a position next to me, she unashamedly pulled my arm around her to stake her claim. A moment later, Claire got up and went to Jan; she was followed by Evelyn going to Kelly. Slightly embarrassed, Claire asked "Um, do we just stay here? I'm still kind of nervous, and I don't know if I could do anything with other people watching."

Jan gave her a hug and said "That isn't a problem. There are four bedrooms here, so each couple can use one of them; just close the door if you don't want anybody coming in – around here, we always knock and wait for an answer. When you're done, just come on back in here."

That said, Kelly told me "Dan, why don't you go ahead and use our room. I'll use Marilyn's, and Kelly can use Daniels, if that's okay?" – the last directed toward Jan, who smiled her agreement. Kelly then told Bonita and Crissy "It's up to you if you want to start with each other, of course. If you do, you're welcome to use Janet's room – she's our daughter, and away at camp. If you don't, you're certainly welcome to stay here and watch tv or listen to music or whatever, or look around the house." The two of them voiced their understanding, and Kelly and Evelyn got up and headed for the hall while they held hands. I got up next, with Sheri following my example; Jan and Claire moved to follow us.

Once in the bedroom, I closed the door behind us – to Sheri's visible relief – and took her into my arms to tell her "Sheri, I'm honored that you would want to be with me, first. It tells me how much you care for me, and how much you trust me. And I want you to know that you're doing the right thing by trusting me like this. I know you've already been told before, but I'm going to say it again: I am not going to do anything with you that you don't let me know is okay. Just so you know, I'm probably going to get hard while we're together; I do not want you to think that there is anything you have to do, or should do, if or when that happens. The two of us are here together now so that you can learn the physical part about sex and making love. How much of that you want to learn, and how you learn it, is up to you – I am not going to try and push you in any particular direction or get you to do any one thing or another."