Anonymous - Frank and I

“Next morning, I woke at my usual early hour, and I got up and dressed; then I went downstairs, but there was not a soul to. be seen anywhere about the place, so I amused myself walking through the passages, and looking into the numerous rooms, all of which were beautifully furnished in different styles. In about an hour’s time, the servants came down and began sweeping the rooms and passages, casting curious glances at me, as I roamed about; and at last one of them told me that I had better go back to my room, as breakfast would not be ready until ten o’clock.

“I took the woman’s advice, went back to my room, and lay down upon my bed, feeling very hungry; and I was glad when I heard a bell ring, which I guessed meant breakfast, so I went down to the dining-room, where I found everyone assembled. They bade me good morning, and we sat down at the table, which was spread with an excellent breakfast, to which I did full justice; but I noticed that some of the young ladies looked tired and sleepy, and they did not seem inclined to talk much.

“After breakfast, Mrs. Leslie and Miss Dundas went out in the brougham, and the other ladies and myself went into the little drawing-room, where we amused ourselves in various ways until lunch, which was served at two o’clock. Later on, Mrs. Leslie took me out for a drive in the park; and at half-past seven we all again met at dinner; the ladies being attired in evening dress. And, as on the previous night, they all went away when the meal was over, leaving me by myself; so I took the book I had been reading and went to my room.

“And so the weeks passed. After the first few days, Mrs. Leslie did not take much notice of me, but the young ladies were always kind to me. I had no duties of any sort, and I amused myself by reading or sewing; and as I was allowed to come and go just as I liked, I often went into Kensington Gardens, and I used also to wander about the streets, looking at the shop windows. I thus gained confidence in myself, and never felt the least afraid of going about alone.

“I had very soon noticed that a great number of gentlemen called at the house every day, and frequently some of them remained to dinner; but on those occasions I was not allowed to dine at the table. I also discovered that the gentlemen sometimes stayed ail night; and long after I had gone to bed, I often heard the ladies and gentlemen talking, laughing, and singing in the big drawing-room downstairs.

“I thought it strange, but being young, and perfectly innocent, I did not then understand what it all meant. But now that I am a woman, and have read novels, and books of all sorts, in which descriptions are given of the various queer things that go on in the world, I know what the ladies were, and why the gentlemen came to the house.”

She stopped speaking, and looked up in my face, with a little smile curving her lips; then she said: “I suppose you have already guessed what sort of an establishment it was that Mrs. Leslie kept.”

“Yes, indeed I have, Frances. But go on, I am very much interested,” I replied. She continued. “Well, the time went on, till I had been six months in the house, and though I had a vague idea that things were not quite right, I never saw anything improper, as I was never allowed in the large drawing-room when gentlemen were there. The girls never let me into their secrets, though I knew they used to laugh and joke with each other about what went on in the house; but they always stopped talking if I happened to go into the room where they were.

“I did not then know why they were so careful of what they said before me, but now I feel certain, that the reason of their not speaking openly, was because they respected my innocence. I had always got on well with them, and I think they were all fond of me, with the exception of Miss Dundas, who never seemed to take the least interest in me.

“Mrs. Leslie, I think, took it for granted that I understood the meaning of all that went on, though she never said anything to me on the subject

“However, I was destined soon to know more. For some time past, I had been very much bothered with the attentions of an old gentleman whom I knew as Mr. Wood, and who was a frequent visitor to the house. He was constantly bringing me presents of fruit, and sweets, and he also occasionally gave me a sovereign. I took all his gifts, but I hated him, and always tried to get away from him as soon as possible, though he was perfectly civil, never once attempting to take the least liberty with me. But nevertheless he was the cause of my being turned out of the house.

“One afternoon, Mrs. Leslie called me into the drawing-room, and said, that as she had kept me in luxury for six months, and as I was fourteen years and a half old; it was time for me to do something for her in return. Not dreaming for a moment of what she was going to ask me to do; I said that it would give me great pleasure to oblige her in any way. She then, in the coolest manner told me that Mr. Wood had taken a great fancy to me, and that he was going to remain in the house all night, and that I was to sleep with him. At that time, I had no very definite idea of what would happen to me if I slept with a man; but the very thought of doing so, turned my blood cold, and filled me with an intense feeling of horror and disgust. I burst into tears, and absolutely refused to sleep with the man.

“Mrs. Leslie flew into a violent passion, upbraiding me for my ingratitude to her, and she asked me scornfully if I did not know that all the young ladies in the house slept with gentlemen when required to do so. I felt myself blushing scarlet, and I trembled all over, but I stammered out that I did not know they ever did such a thing. I really had been ignorant of the fact. She stormed at me worse than ever, saying that I was a greater fool than she had thought; and she wound up by telling me, that if I did not consent to sleep with Mr. Wood, she would give me a sound whipping. Then she told me angrily to go to my room and think over what she had said. I went to my room, feeling dazed and miserable, and throwing myself on my bed, wept bitterly; but in spite of her threat, I was fully determined not to sleep with Mr. Wood

“In about an hour’s time, Mrs. Leslie and her sister came into the room: I jumped off the bed, and stood before them, feeling very frightened, but firm in my resolve. Mrs. Leslie asked me if I would do as she had told me? I replied with the tears streaming down my cheeks, that I could not; then I implored her not to whip me, saying chat I had never been whipped in my life.

“She made no reply, but seized me and laid me across the bed: Miss Dundas immediately taking hold of my wrists and holding them tightly. Then Mrs. Leslie turned up my short frock and petticoats to my shoulders, and unfastening my drawers, pulled them down to my knees. I did not struggle to escape, nor did I again beg her not to whip me, as I knew it would be no use; but I felt very much ashamed at being turned up in such a degrading manner; I also dreaded the pain before me, and a sort of creeping sensation passed over the flesh of my bottom as I lay on the bed, in dire suspense, waiting for the punishment to commence. Mrs. Leslie leisurely took off one of her slippers, then she held my legs with her left hand, and began to spank me very severely; and as I had never before received a blow, I felt the pain acutely, but I tried to bear it quietly. The stinging slaps fell in quick succession all over my bottom; the pain grew sharper and sharper; I could no longer contain myself, and I began to struggle and cry. She went on spanking me relentlessly; my bottom seemed to be burning, and I screamed loudly at each slap.

“At last she stopped, and put on her slipper; thin she and her sister left the room, locking the door on the outside, leaving me lying on the bed, with my petticoats up and my drawers down, crying with shame and pain. When the smarting of my bottom had somewhat subsided, I wiped the tears from my eyes, got off the bed, and fastened up my drawers, then I lay down again, and buried my face in the pillow, feeling very wretched.