Jeremy Sterling: Compromised

This was turning into a disaster. Megan squirmed in her seat.

“ I'm a guy, you know? I like head, and Megan hasn't been willing to go down on me since our honeymoon. When we were dating, she was this champion fellatrix — then I put a ring on her finger, and it's bye-bye oral!”

Megan teetered between shame and anger, then decided she could choose both. She stopped hiding her face and glared at him, her cheeks crimson with mortification. How dare he?

She opened her mouth to speak, but Dr. Esmer held his hand up like he was cop directing traffic. “Hold on, Megan, I can see you want to speak and I promise you will get your chance. But right now we are listening to Eric.”

Megan crossed her arms in front of her chest, and seethed. This is an outrage. She turned her incinerating gaze to Dr. Esmer, and thought, In what field is your medical degree?

“ Keep going Eric. What else is troubling you about your marriage?” Dr. Esmer had this ingratiating look on his face, like he wanted to keep everyone happy. That ain't happening.

“ A lot of it is sex. Before we were married, and shortly after, we were fucking like minks. Now I am lucky if I get laid twice a month. Plus it's turned vanilla. Before the wedding she was opening up. She would attack me when I got home from work. I would wake up in the middle of the night and find her straddling me. We would go out on dates and she would surprise me by showing me she wasn't wearing underwear. On our honeymoon in Hawaii we had sex fifty feet from molten lava, on warm volcanic rock, with a tour group just barely out of sight. She used to give me lap dances. Now she never initiates. It's like I am begging for it.”

Begging won't be enough from this point, Megan thought to herself. She continued stewing as Eric continued his litany of Megan's marital sins, exposing all their secrets in front of this stranger.

“ She had promised me she would open up more after the wedding. I like to watch women masturbate, you know? It's hot. Megan would never do that. I wanted to try anal. 'Maybe after we are married', she said. That particular cork is still in the bottle.”

Dr. Esmer noticed Megan's discomfort, and addressed it. “Megan, I told you when we started. I have a unique method of marriage counseling. I promise to fix any marriage in one session, with a money-back guarantee, but only if couples are completely honest with me. We need Eric to say what is exactly on his mind.”

Megan bit her tongue, tasting acid.

Dr. Esmer shifted his attention back to Eric. “Anything besides sex?”

“ She has turned into a nag. 'Put your shoes away. Don't set that glass there. Wash the counters. Don't leave your books on the counter. Your laundry is piling up. Clean the bathroom.' It's like she follows me around the house looking for messes for me to clean up.”

Megan could hold back no more. “They are your messes!” This was his sin, not hers, and he was making himself out to be the victim.

Eric shrugged his shoulders and looked at Dr. Esmer as if he were vindicated.

“ Is there anything else?” Esmer asked.

“ No, Sex and nagging is more than enough, thank you.” Eric turned to face her. “Megan, I want the amazing woman I married. Where the fuck did she go?”

“ She's exhausted and cranky from cleaning up all the shit you leave around the house.” She felt a surge of satisfaction, which was quickly followed by a feeling of guilt, and then annoyance at feeling guilty.

“ Hold on Megan.” Dr. Esmer wasn't letting her follow up. “I also want Eric to tell us what is strong in your marriage.”

“ Right now, nothing.” His lips twitched after he spoke, like he was flinching from his own words. He looked away from her.

“ Come now. You married her. You were in love. What drew you to her in the first place?”

Eric's face transformed from annoyance into bemusement. “The first thing most people notice about Megan is her strength, although they don't always put it that way. But she can also be very sweet if she likes you. I thought Megan was the strongest and most decent woman I had ever met. She is generous, always helping people out. She always tried to see the best in people.”

Not right now, I don't, Megan thought, feeling guilt at the dissonance between Eric's words and her own anger.

Eric continued. “I'm a cop. We spend too much time dealing with garbage. I see a lot of bad people in the world. Even most of the supposedly good people I meet are just posturing. They only do the right thing when someone is watching. If no one is watching, they will either make sure everyone is looking at them so they can get credit for being good, or they will do the wrong thing. Not Megan. You know that bumper sticker that says 'commit random acts of kindness'? That's her. There is an old couple that lives down the block. She drops off meals once a week, and salts their driveway in winter.”

Esmer spoke up. “That does indeed sound admirable. Is she still like that now, or did that change when you married?”

Eric looked reluctant when he admitted, “She is still like that.”

Megan had been noting how Eric had been speaking in the present tense, and had felt a burst of affection, but it died now. Instead, Megan felt the rage rising again. He had to be dragged into admitting she was still a decent person? The fucker.

“ She is always staying busy, doing something cool. She spent several weeks last year teaching herself Italian. Before that, it was how to make sushi. She isn't greedy. That's rare in doctors. Most of the ones I meet seem to be all about the Mercedes and the McMansion.” Eric paused, and continued. “And I like her strength. Some of her coworkers at the hospital called her “Dr. Bitch”, but I like strong women. You might look at her and see a petite little thing who would blow away in a wind, but she is tough. Cops need that in a wife.”

Megan looked at the floor, belying the strength he had just described. She wasn't sure she loved him any more. There was too much resentment. Part of her feared this counseling session was going to be useless. She was ashamed at the small part of her that hoped it would be.

Dr. Esmer smiled. “Excellent. That is a strong foundation from which we can work. Megan, it's your turn. What do you see as the challenges facing your marriage?”

Megan had been holding back for what felt like an eternity, and the floodgates opened. “There is just so much to do, you know? I work at the clinic, and then get home and I just want a clean house. I can't relax when there is stuff to do. I've always been that way. By the time I get done making dinner and cleaning the house, I'm exhausted. And he doesn't help. He wakes up in the morning, throws his clothes on the bed, and throws his shower towel on the floor of the bathroom. I find his toothbrush and razor sitting on the sink instead of where they belong, and he never cleans his razor stubble out of the sink. The cap isn't on the toothpaste, his cereal bowl is in the sink instead of the dishwasher, and the newspaper is scattered on the dining room table.”

Megan paused for breath. “And that's just in one half hour of the morning. I ask him to do it, and he says he has to get to work. I ask him to clean up when he comes home, and he says he is too tired, or it doesn't need to be done.”

“ It usually doesn't.”

Esmer used the stop sign gesture to shush Eric.

Megan threw her hands up in the air. “You see? He doesn't seem to understand that things need to be put away. Everything has its proper place and should go where it belongs. He won't do dishes or laundry. He won't vacuum. The youngest detective in the history of the Indianapolis Police Department — he can catch a serial killer, but can't find the goddamned toothbrush holder. I end up cleaning up every mess, and then when I am done he starts coming on to me and I am too pissed off or tired for sex.”