Tristan Taormino - The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women

Renowned anal health expert Jack Morin recommends moving your body while you do your pelvic exercises:

Try combining the exercises with walking, running, dancing, or simulating a hula-hoop motion.

My friend Wendy—dirty enough to do it but too coy to give details—describes the allure with vague biology, using terms like membrane and pressure points. But physical sensations are secondary.

The best part is how one small act can make you so dirty so fast.

The anus is the opening to another responsive site of pleasure—the anal canal. The anal canal is about one to two inches long and leads into the rectum. The same soft tissue that makes up the anus comprises the anal canal, so it is very sensitive to touch and stimulation. The walls of the anal canal are comprised of tissue that, like that of the clitoris and penis, becomes engorged from increased blood flow during arousal.

When the sphincter muscles are relaxed, these folds of tissue give the anal canal a tremendous ability to expand. If the sphincter muscles are not relaxed, and the anus is tense, penetration is possible only with force, causing tearing of the tissue and pain.

I love the feeling of surrender [ when someone penetrates my ass ] . The intensity. It is so much more intense than vaginal stimulation. There are so many more nerve endings in the anus. It takes me out of my head and into my body… in a way that no other type of sexual activity does. At the same time, it is not something I would do every day. Sometimes months or years go by before I am really “ready” for this type of deep stimulation.

Beyond the anal canal is the rectum, which is about five inches long; the rectum is made up of loose folds of soft, smooth tissue. It, too, has a large capacity for expanding; plus it is wider than the anal canal. The recturn is tubular and curves gently (see figure 2). The lower part of the rectum curves toward your navel. After a few inches, the rectum curves back toward your spine. After another inch or so, the rectum becomes the sigmoid colon, which curves toward your navel. The rectum and colon both curve laterally (from side to side) as well; whether to the right or the left will vary from person to person. These curves are part of the reason that slowness and patience are key to pleasurable anal penetration. Each person’s rectum and its curves are unique, and it is best to feel your way inside the rectum slowly, following its curves, rather than jamming anything straight inside.

Men’s and women’s anal anatomy is very similar, but there are some important differences (see figure 3).

A Person’s butt is as unique as a fingureprint.

The G-spot (or urethral sponge) is a raised area of tissue wrapped around the urethra in women. The urethral sponge can be found in the front wall of the vagina, and many women enjoy having it stimulated. It is most easily found and stimulated during rear-entry vaginal penetration; some women experience G-spot stimulation during anal penetration as well.

Men can experience stimulation of the prostate gland when they are anally penetrated. The prostate gland, which surrounds the urethra, is below the bladder and above the base of the penis. You can find it a few inches into the anal canal and toward the navel. This is the gland that produces semen, and it can be a big source of pleasure for men when they receive anal penetration. It is very sensitive to massage, and most men Figure 3: Male Anatomy prefer gentle rubbing; any jerky movement or poking can be very uncomfortable.

Always remember that each person’s G-spot or prostate gland is unique—some people may enjoy this stimulation and others may not.

Before you experiment with anal stimulation or penetration, it is important to begin with anal exploration. In other words, you need to get more acquainted with your anus. This is not just an exercise for beginners. Most of us—even the most experienced anal sex experts—don’t ever take the time to look at our own anuses.

Get a hand-held mirror and find a suitable, well-lit place. First, take some deep breaths for several minutes to relax. Perhaps, lie down on the bed, play some soothing music, or light some incense. These are simply suggestions—do whatever things will relax you. Once you feel relaxed and ready to explore, find a comfortable position, one where you’ll be able to stay for a while and where you’ll have a good view of your butt. Begin by looking at your anus. Just check it out—the shape, the size, the color. How does it look? Relaxed, tense, somewhere in between? Gently massage your buttocks, inner thighs, and the area around your anus. Continue to massage, stroke, and explore the area, going at your own pace. Note how the opening responds to the massage around it. When you feel comfortable, gently touch your anus. Don’t penetrate it, just do some external touching. Tune into the sensations you feel, both in your anus and in the rest of your body. Keep touching, but just touching—no penetration of any kind yet—and when you feel like stopping, stop. Some people may like to write down some thoughts in a journal about the experience to refer to later.

The following are some basic preparations for having safe and pleasurable anal sex. (I will discuss more about safer sex as it pertains to STDs and HIV/AIDS in chapters 4 and 11.)

The tissue of the anus, anal canal, and rectum is very delicate, much more delicate than the tissue of the vagina. In order to make stimulation and penetration comfortable for yourself and your partner, make sure your nails are short and filed smooth, with no jagged or sharp edges. Even if you plan to wear latex gloves—and you should—it’s a good idea to make sure those nails don’t become daggers cloaked in latex inside your partner’s ass (or your own!). Short, smooth nails will help prevent small tears in the anal tissue, which can cause irritation and discomfort during anal play and bowel movements.

Anything you plan to put in an anus should be cleaned beforehand. Your hands, and, if applicable, your partner’s hands or penis should be thoroughly washed in hot water and a good antibacterial soap. Toys like butt plugs and dildos should also be cleaned with hot water and soap; in addition, you should soak toys for about fifteen minutes to disinfect them with either povidone iodine (Betadine), hydrogen peroxide (full strength), bleach (diluted: one part bleach, ten parts water), or a sex toy cleaner you can purchase where sex toys are sold. Alternatively (or in addition), you can put a new condom on each toy (including your partner’s penis) before using it and a new latex glove on your hand, which can be discarded after each use. Using latex not only ensures that everything is safe and clean for sex play but also makes for easier cleanup during and after sex. (For more about latex and condoms, see the “Latex” section in chapter 4.)

One very important thing to remember is that once anything—a finger, a toy, a penis—has been in the anus, it must be thoroughly washed or covered with a new condom or latex glove before it goes anywhere near the vagina. Putting something in an ass and then transferring it directly to the vagina is a perfect route to vaginal infections, including yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and other bacterial baddies. So, please, just don’t go there before getting clean! In addition, sex researchers Masters and Johnson report that washing the penis may not be enough to prevent gastrointestinal bacteria from the rectum from transferring to the vagina because “there may be bacteria scooped inside the urethra which escape the cleansing action of soap and water.” [19] 4. Masters et al., Heterosexuality, 384. Another smart reason to use a new condom for each new journey—and for both women and men to urinate after any penetrative sex.