Anonymous: Confessions of an Author

She did not want an;- other way of intercourse and declared flatly, “Isn't it the highest form of love? Could you do a thing like that to a man you don't like?” Her logic was devastating.

And we licked. She me, I her. She started to bloom and looked more beautiful every day. The strain was beginning to show on me; I was heading for a nervous breakdown and after these nightly orgies I was incapable of going to sleep. She did not listen at all when I told her that this manner of conjugal bliss was killing me slowly. “I will be very considerate,” she promised. But when, because of the proximity of her beautiful nude body my member became rigid, she would exclaim happily, “But see, he wants to!” And then I, too, wanted it again. She loved it so much that she also wanted to be licked during the day, and there have been days that she insisted upon at least six times. And I had to be undressed during these ceremonies at all times. Finally my member refused to react at all, and my wife resorted to tricks. She rubbed it, sobbing, against the throbbing nipples of her breasts, she licked my anus, and even that seemed to excite her enormously.

We had long since returned to Vienna. I still had one joy, the sight of her marvelous, nude body. But I also had the desire to possess it. Completely, not just with my tongue. I implored to no avail. I begged her, and she would answer, “You want to be a modern man, don't you?”

One night I came home much later than usual. When I entered the bedroom, I found it empty. I became worried. I looked for her everywhere and when I came close to the door of the servants' quarters I heard a noise in the chambermaid's room. I heard moaning, “Ooh, yes … that way … down further … Oh, my God … it's great!”

I sneaked away and went to bed, as if I did not know that my wife needed more tongues than mine only. An hour later she came down, relaxed, happy and a little bit tired.

She pretended to be very surprised to find me in bed, and as if nothing had happened, she kissed me and lay down herself. I started to boil over, “I've been looking all over for you …”

“I know, darling, and it was very decent of you not to open that door … you know that Tina is fantastic. She licks like no one else. Really, you should try it, too. Have something really good and have her give it to you …”

All the hate within me crystallized and I said, “Fine!”

Her eyes lit up and she said quickly, “I know what we can do; you lick me, she licks you, and if she wants to, she can twiddle herself with her fingers!” She bounced out of the bedroom and returned soon with a slightly reluctant chambermaid.

She pulled off the girl's nightgown and stood next to her. “Which one of us has the nicest figure?”

I cannot remember whether the girl was good-looking or ugly. The only thing I can remember is that I threw her upon the bed.

I heard my wife ask, “What position should we take?”

I knew what position I was going to take. I was going to rape and fuck the maid right in front of my wife's eyes.

But my fury had killed my desire. I couldn't … What had happened to me; what was I going to do?

“Back to your room,” I hollered at the girl.

When she had slipped out of the room I turned around to my wife. I grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the bed. And I hit her and hit her, and if I had not blacked out, I would have killed her.

I left my home that same night.

This marriage has brought me to the brink of my grave. A serious heart condition is the result of months of unnatural copulation. I will most likely die of it before I have finished this confession.

But I do hope that this writing will show this execrable creature whom I loved and who called herself my wife that the only whore I ever knew and who temporarily played a role in my life was venerable compared to her who had vowed before God to share my bed. Amen!