Edward Sellon - The New Epicuriean

The plot thickened and I began to feel now really uncomfortable, but you know cowardice was never one of my faults; besides, I had my sword, not the toy called by that name which one wears on gala occasions but a plain, strong, serviceable weapon which had served me well in several duels; I therefore rode on the way I came, regardless of the gypsy's caution.

As I rode along the road which traverses the wood skirting my demesne, I observed a coach with imperial and portmanteaus strapped upon it, drawn up as if for concealment off the road and almost hidden amongst the trees. The coachman lay stretched on the grass while the horses grazed as they stood.

Taking no further notice of this travelling equipage I rode into the wood and, tying my horse to a tree, wandered about in different directions. At length, about fifty yards from me in a small open glade, I could perceive through the trees a lady and gentleman in amorous dalliance. I approached stealthily without being seen and ensconced myself in a copse, where I had full view of all that passed, though I could not hear what was said.

On the grass lay a tall handsome dark man, who I at once recognised as Lady Cecilia's cousin, Lord William B, and lying upon the young man was her ladyship herself, her clothes thrown up, displaying all her hinder beauties which Lord B was playfully slapping as she bounded up and down upon him.

They were evidently very much pleased with each other, and the rapturous kisses, the 'oh!' and 'ahs!' were the only sounds that reached me. After some time they reversed the position, he kneeling up behind her and she wriggling and bounding in the most ecstatic delight.

At length, their climax came. She turned round and throwing her arms round her lover's neck, sank down with him quite exhausted.

In an age when the spirit of amorous intrigue pervades the court, it was not to be expected that a person of quality like Lady Cecilia would be very rigid, more especially as Lord William B was an old flame of hers.

And remembering my own infidelities towards her I should never have taken umbrage at any she might have indulged in, had they been carried on openly as mine were. But this clandestine meeting when she thought I was gone out for the day disturbed me.

I was anxious to gather from their conversation what was the meaning of it. So soon, therefore, as they had finished their first delights and were seated lovingly side by side on the grass, I crept up through the gorse and underwood till I found myself about a yard from them. Here, motionless as a statue, my hand on my sword, I listened.

'I was saying,' said Lord William, 'that this man must be a thorough old beast, a goat, a satyr, my dear coz, who ought never to have had you. The things you have told me, and pardie, I am no saint, really quite make my hair stand on end. Intrigue is one thing, damme, but to debauch children, fie, fie-'

'Perhaps,' cried Cecilia, laughing, 'he would say, could he hear you, that to amuse oneself with little children who are nobody's property is one thing, but to debauch another man's wife is another. Damme, fie, fie-'

Lord William laughed but bit his lip, annoyed at the repartee.

'In fine, my dear William,' said Cecilia, 'it is so much easier to see the wickedness of other people's actions than that of our own. I'll venture to assert that if every man now living got his deserts, there would be few would escape. Let fanatics abuse their fellow creatures, condemning them wholesale to hell-human nature, depend upon it, is the same everywhere, whether under a parson's cassock or a soldier's scarlet coat.'

'Granted, my little philosopher,' laughed her cousin, 'but did you not tell me that you regarded your husband with abhorrence and detestation?'

'Oh, doubtless, doubtless! Yes, he is detestable; a horrid, debauched old scoundrel, no question; but that is no reason you, who have just made him a cuckold, should add insult to injury by calling him names. How do you know that he is not nearer than we think and might suddenly-'

'Appear!' I hoarsely exclaimed, springing into the open space where they were seated, sword in hand. 'To your feet, my lord; draw and defend yourself. The intrigue I could have pardoned, for it is the custom of the age in which we live, but the abuse is too insulting, and on your part, my lady, too cruel; but enough of words. Guard!'

I placed myself in fencing attitude. Lord William (who was an antagonist not to be despised, being one of the first swordsmen of the day) raised his sword to his head en salute; then gracefully he threw himself into the second position and our blades crossed with a clashing sound that elicited a little shriek from Lady Cecilia, who sank, half fainting, on the greensward.

The duel lasted some time; we were combatants worthy of each other. Carte and tierce, volte and demi volte, all the finesse of fencing was tried by each for some time in vain.

At length I pricked him in the sword arm and his cambric sleeve was crimsoned in an instant. The wound only roused his anger; he lost his coolness and did not keep himself so well covered; lunging then under his tierce guard, I should certainly have despatched him had not the traitress, Lady Cecilia, at that instant struck up my arm with Lord William's cane; at the same moment his sword passed through my body. I fell back like a dead man, without sense or motion.

When I again opened my eyes, they rested on various familiar objects; I was in my private chamber. At the foot of the bed was seated Phoebe, her eyes red with weeping. I tried to speak, but she put her finger to her lip and, approaching, said, 'Pray don't try yet, Sir Charles.'

'What has happened?' I faintly exclaimed.

'Not now, not now,' whispered Phoebe; 'you shall know all about it another time. You have been light-headed and very ill, and for three days that kind young surgeon who scarcely ever left your side despaired of your life; but if you will only keep quiet, dear Sir Charles, all may yet be well.'

She put a cooling drink to my lips and, shading the light, moved further off. I found myself from loss of blood to be weak as a baby and, closing my eyes, was soon again unconscious. In another week I was a little better, to the great delight of the poor doctor (to whom I had certainly shown many acts of kindness, never expecting such a faithful and grateful return for it). He told me that the right lung had been pierced and that the haemorrhage had at first been so great that he despaired of staunching it; but that quiet, the excellent nursing of old Jukes, Phoebe and Chloe, who had sat up with me in turns, and an iron constitution had combined to save me. He said not a word of himself or his own skill, so that when, about a month afterwards, being convalescent, I presented him with a cheque for one hundred guineas, he regarded me with astonishment, declaring that ten was all he deserved; but I would not be gainsaid and sent him away rejoicing.

Feeling myself now well enough to hear Phoebe's recital, and kissing her and Chloe and even poor old Jukes with much ardour as I thanked them for their tender care of me, I made the two former seat themselves at my feet, while Daphnis placed a pillow at my back and handed me a glass of lemonade.

'It is little I have to tell you, Sir Charles,' began Phoebe, 'but I will endeavour to be as clear as possible. Soon after your departure for Richmond, her ladyship went out alone on foot. As we had no orders to watch my lady, I would not permit Jack to do so, and we saw her no more. About five in the afternoon Jack was rambling about in the woods outside the walls when suddenly he came upon the spot where, to his great horror, you lay weltering in your blood.

'There was blood on the turf all about, which was much trampled down. You lay on your back, pale as death. Near you he picked up a fan, a ribbon and a lady's glove. Returning to the dairy at speed he at once told us what had happened, directed us to bring your body in quietly and make up a bed in this room while he galloped off for the doctor.'