Рейчел Уэллс: Alfie And George

‘In that case, how about I take you to my favourite place?’ suggested Roddy.

‘What is it?’ Snowball asked.

‘You’ll see, it’s lovely. Come on, come with me.’ He ran off and we sprang after him. As we crossed a different — and thankfully cow-free — field, I realised how nice the country smelled. I breathed in deeply, enjoying the fresh scents. I was happy that we were having a last adventure and with Roddy with us there was no danger involved. Well, I hoped not anyway.

We set off and took a route that we were more familiar with, passing the outskirts of the field where we’d met the giant cow. There were a few cows there, but they were at the other end of the field and were so busy eating grass they didn’t pay us much attention. I can’t say I was sorry.

‘Come on, let’s keep going,’ Roddy said, as we followed close behind him.

I blinked at Snowball and she blinked back as we came upon a stream.

‘I am not a fan of water,’ I stated.

‘Nah, me neither, Alfie. But look, there’s a bridge just up here. Come on.’ Roddy led us across a small wooden bridge and then came to a halt. As I looked around, I almost felt my breath being taken away. We were standing in a clearing on the edge of a wood, trees densely surrounding us. Sunlight glinted between the branches and reflected off the leaves, it was beautiful.

‘It’s a forest,’ Snowball exclaimed.

‘Yeah, it’s my forest,’ Roddy said, although I was pretty sure it wasn’t.

‘Wow, it’s beautiful,’ I stated.‘Almost as beautiful as you.’ I nuzzled Snowball. She smiled coyly and raised her whiskers.

‘It reminds me a bit of my old home,’ Snowball said. ‘We had a big wood just outside our garden and I would chase squirrels, although they could be mean. They were particularly protective of their nuts.’

‘I can see why you’d miss it,’ I conceded. As much as I loved Edgar Road and London, I did see the beauty of this place.

We stood at the bottom of a large tree. Roddy said that if we climbed up it we would see the most spectacular view. Snowball looked at me questioningly and gestured towards the tree. I shook my head — I was staying on the ground. I’d been stuck up a tree in the past, twice in fact, and it wasn’t fun. So I stayed put and watched as Roddy and Snowball climbed higher and higher, feeling a little bit jealous and half wishing I could join them. But ultimately I was glad to be on firm ground where I found some leaves to play with.

After a while I saw Snowball scaling back down and I was relieved that she was managing it easily.

‘Right, let’s get back before you’re missed,’ Roddy said, bounding off.

He took us a different route home, and I felt so energised by the journey, with the wind in my fur, the warming sun above and the tickly green grass beneath my paws, that I started fooling around a bit. I turned and walked backwards.

‘What are you doing?’ Snowball asked, raising her whiskers.

‘Hey, I can go backwards, look at me,’ I said, showing off. I started trying to run backwards, which wasn’t as easy as I thought — in all honesty, I’d never tried it before. I felt my legs tangle and I tried to turn around but ended up falling on my bottom. Luckily, something soft broke my fall.

‘Yelp!’ I said. But what was that smell? I stood up and, trying to get away from the smell, ended up running round in circles — wherever I went, it seemed to follow. I heard laughter from Roddy and saw that Snowball was hiding behind her paw.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘You fell into a cow pat!’ she said. I looked down and saw that the soft thing that had broken my fall was in fact the source of the terrible smell. Those monster cows had left a monster mess, and I was now covered in it! As I walked dejectedly home, my earlier energy deflated, I knew that there would be only one thing for it: a bath. I really dislike baths, or actually water in any form — even rain upsets me, and don’t get me started on puddles. But I knew I had no choice.

We said a fond farewell to Roddy back at the house.

‘You’re a lucky guy,’ he said to me, gesturing towards Snowball. She purred and looked coy.

‘I know I am — she’s wonderful. Thank you for everything,’ I said, as I bade him a warm goodbye.

I was still covered in mess and I didn’t dare enter the house. ‘Maybe if you go inside, you can miaow loudly and get someone’s attention?’ I said to Snowball. As much as I hated baths, I really wanted to get this mess off me as soon as possible.

Snowball went off and returned after what seemed like ages with Claire. I was beginning to really hate the smell. It was another reason for me to add cows to my list of things to be avoided.

‘What on earth?’ Claire said. ‘Snowball was making such a racket, I thought something was wrong.’ She took a closer look at me. ‘Oh God, Alfie, did you roll in something bad?’ I miaowed to show my disagreement — as if I would do anything like this on purpose!

Claire wrapped me in a towel to carry me inside, holding me at arm’s length as she took me straight to the bathroom. I could see that Snowball found the whole thing amusing; we would be having words about that later. As Claire ran a shallow bath, muttering about the way I smelled, I stayed very still. She gently put me in the water and I tried not to squirm, but as the warm wet stuff started to engulf my body, I found it so uncomfortable that I wriggled a bit. I wasn’t sure which was worse, the bath or the smell. Actually, it was definitely the smell.

‘Keep still, Alfie,’ she said crossly as I squirmed. I couldn’t stay still. Eventually, after what felt like forever, Claire carefully lifted me out and dried me off.‘Go and lie by the fire, you’ll soon be all dry and warm,’ she said. She didn’t need to ask twice, and I quickly ran out of the room.

I curled up by the fire and Snowball joined me.

‘You smell much better, thank goodness,’ she said, nuzzling into my neck.

‘You know, I’m going to miss a few things about this holiday but the fire is definitely one of the things I’ll miss most,’ I said, yawning. What an eventful day we’d had. I closed my eyes, and soon I was dreaming of pilchards.

A while later, I was aware of voices as I woke up, and sensed the presence of everyone in the living room.

‘I can’t believe we have to leave in the morning,’ said Jonathan. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the warmth in my fur as I listened. I could picture him, stretched out on the sofa. He sounded quite mellow. Jonathan was often uptight, and it was clear the holiday had done him good.

‘It’s been a good holiday though, mate,’ Tim said.

‘I’m just worried about how Alfie’s going to be you know, if …’ I heard Claire say. I pricked up my ears. I could tell that Snowball was still asleep next to me. She made this really sweet noise as she slept. Some called it snoring but to me it was music.

‘And Snowball,’ Karen added. ‘It’s weird, I never thought cats were like that, we’ve always been led to believe they’re solitary creatures, certainly not animals that mate for life.’

‘Like lobsters,’ Tim said.

‘What?’ Jonathan asked. I was trying to follow this conversation but it wasn’t proving easy.

‘You know, lobsters, they mate for life,’ Tim explained.

‘But look at them,’ Claire said, sounding sad.‘Snuggled up together. They definitely love each other.’

‘God, I feel guilty already,’ said Tim.‘But this time, it’s not my family I might be letting down, but my cat.’

‘It might not even happen,’ said Karen.

I gave Snowball a gentle nudge, but she was fast asleep. This conversation made no sense to me, and my fur suddenly felt freezing cold.