Рейчел Уэллс - Alfie And George

‘Oh, I think I understand,’ Tinkerbell said.‘You need to do something to make all your families understand how much they love and need each other.’

Thank goodness. ‘Yes! Exactly!’ Tinkerbell was suddenly my new favourite cat. I was glad that he had become a regular part of our gang. I shot a look at Tiger but she was gazing lovingly at George. Oh blimey, everyone was so obsessed with that kitten, me included. ‘Tiger, can you drag yourself away from George for long enough to pay attention?’ I snapped.

‘That’s it!’ Rocky said.

‘What?’ I asked. Tiger looked up.

‘The boy. Everyone is besotted with the boy, so use him in your plan.’ Rocky looked pleased with himself.

‘Everyone loves me,’ George said.

‘Um, George, it’s important you don’t become too big-headed,’ I said.

‘Well, we all know who he takes after,’ said Tiger. The others laughed; I did not.

‘But anyway, he’s got something there,’ said Elvis. ‘For example, you could put the kitten in danger and then the humans will all come together to save him, or something.’

‘You can’t put him in danger!’ Nellie snapped. George looked scared and hid behind Tiger.

‘No, of course you can’t. I didn’t mean literally, but if they think he is,’ said Elvis.‘Look, we need to try to find the lamppost cats, but what I was thinking was that if your families thought George was one of them, then they would put their problems aside and all get on with it.’

‘Make them think that George has been taken like one of the lamppost cats?’ I felt my brain whirring. ‘You might be right, Elvis. Remember when I was very ill at the vet, it brought all my families together — Claire and Jonathan even fell in love and the others all became friends because of me.’

‘Yes, but you absolutely can’t put him in danger,’ Tiger said. ‘Not like you do with yourself.’

I felt an idea hatching, and my whiskers and fur tingled with excitement. ‘What if we just pretend he’s missing?’ I asked.

‘How do we do that?’ Tiger asked.

‘Well, Tiger, I’m not completely sure yet but let’s say we find somewhere to hide him, and you go with him. He’ll be safe because you’re taking care of him, but everyone else will think he’s lost.’

‘How long? You couldn’t do it for too long, it wouldn’t be fair,’ Tiger pointed out.

‘Yes, that’s true,’ I agreed. ‘Not too long, I mean, he was only missing for a short time the other day and I was terrified, but he has to be lost for just enough time to trouble them all and get them talking.’

‘Ohhh,’ said Nellie.‘Then we can all look for him.’ We all turned our eyes on Nellie.

‘He’s not actually going to be lost, so we won’t have to look for him,’ Tiger said scathingly.

‘Oh, I see,’ Nellie said, but she didn’t look as if she did.

‘Isn’t it mean? To make people worry?’ Tinkerbell asked, looking uncertain.

‘Not in the long run. We need something drastic to make them realise that they love each other. If we hide George, they’ll all look for him and talk properly, and then when we find George alive and well they’ll be so relieved and happy that they’ll sort out their problems. It’s foolproof.’ Well, I hoped it was.

‘Are you sure about this?’ Tiger sounded dubious.

‘No, but have you got any better ideas?’

‘Other than me kidnapping George, making everyone sick with worry before he’s found, and then bringing them all back together again? No, not really.’

‘You aren’t really kidnapping him,’ I pointed out.

‘You know what I mean. Look, Alfie, think about this for a while. They’ll be really worried, and Tinkerbell’s right, it does seem mean. If they’re already upset they don’t need any more stress.’

‘I know, but these humans need a wake-up call, they’re all forgetting about what’s important. Yes, it’s awful that they’ll worry, but it won’t be for too long. We’ve been here before: if they have something else to focus on they begin to see how much they really love each other. It’s the way humans work. I don’t think we have a choice, Tiger, we have to do this. And in the meantime, Dustbin is going to get to the bottom of the real lamppost cats, I just know he is.’ I felt excited; I knew this was going to work out. I just knew it.

‘On your paws be it,’ Tiger snorted. ‘But yes, before you ask, of course I’ll help you, it goes without saying. And I’d be happy to keep George safe for a while, although we need to work out the logistics. Where will we go? What will he eat? How do I keep him warm?’

‘We’ll all help you, Alfie,’ Nellie said.‘It brings us together too, doesn’t it, these plans of yours?’ I was relieved, Nellie had finally got it.

‘See, Tiger,’ I said.‘I know what I’m doing.’ I couldn’t help but feel a little bit smug. It made sense. Everyone chasing after a lost George would make them all see how much they needed each other, and then they’d talk, really talk, to each other. Matt and Polly, Claire and Jonathan, and then Tomasz would realise he had to go to Poland to get his family, and Tash would see how important love was and would give Max a chance. I know it seemed I was always chasing a happy ending for everyone I loved, and I was, but there was nothing wrong with that. It’s just what any loving cat would do.

I was busy working out the finer points of my plan; I was still not one hundred per cent sure of all the details. Though my idea for getting my humans together was not dangerous, it was logistically complicated, and that was keeping me occupied. I also had a visit from Dustbin, who, true to his word, had his cat network — some feral like him, others domestic — all working on the mystery of the lamppost cats.

He caught my attention while I was looking out of the front window. I ran round the back and we met in the garden.

‘Any news?’ I asked.

‘It is a problem. Some cats’ owners are so worried they won’t let them go out. It’s causing havoc among local cats. I think your street is the last street to be hit by whatever’s going on.’

‘So no one knows?’

‘Not yet, but a very good friend of mine — Mr B, the cleverest cat I know — is on the case and he’s going to come and see me tonight. Just try to relax, keep an eye on your kitten and hopefully I’ll have news. I’ll try to come at the same time tomorrow, look out for me. I’d better go, it’s time for my lunch and I have to see off those pesky rodents too.’

I said goodbye and went back to the house to worry. While the plan for my families wasn’t dangerous, we didn’t know what we were dealing with with the lamppost cats. There was so much piled up on my plate at the moment and it seemed to be mounting up.

And George was getting into more and more trouble, which was threatening to distract me from the task at hand. He was becoming quite a paw-full. The other day, he had played with Jonathan’s favourite work tie and it looked a bit worse for wear when he’d finished with it. Jonathan was really angry, and of course somehow he blamed Claire and me. Claire told him he should focus on what was important, which just made him madder. They weren’t really talking to each other by the end of the day and George was still unsure what he’d done wrong. I tried to explain but actually I was trying to focus my energy on the bigger picture. I remember one of my families saying that with children you had to pick your battles. Stealing Jonathan’s tie didn’t really warrant too much of my attention — after all, he had loads more. Claire was right: Jonathan needed to worry about what was important and it wasn’t a silly tie. Although George hid from Jonathan for a while afterwards, I did tell him, yet again, that Jonathan was prone to flying off the handle but he usually calmed down quite quickly. I was used to him getting cross with me but quickly thawing anyway.