Рейчел Уэллс - Alfie And George

‘So what you’re saying is you need yet another plan?’ Tiger said, sighing. We were all crouched under a bush in the park: me, Tiger and George. George was making a pile of leaves to nestle into and his nose was covered in mud. He looked very sweet.

‘Basically, yes. I tried to leave them to sort it out but to no avail. The thing is, it has to be a big plan,’ I pointed out.‘The biggest plan of my life.’

‘What are you hoping to achieve?’ she asked.

‘Well, I want Tomasz to go to Poland to get his family back. I want Claire and Jonathan to work together on this adoption, not both on different paths. I want Matt and Polly to talk again, to be as close as they normally are and to agree on how they can both work with jobs and the children. Oh, and I want Tash to feel more confident about having a new relationship because my cat instinct tells me Max could be wonderful both for her and Elijah. Although out of everyone, Tash actually seems the happiest right now. And of course I want to get all the lamppost cats back with their owners, including Pinkie.’

‘Is that all?’ I could detect sarcasm in Tiger’s voice. She could be one sarcastic cat.

‘I know it’s a lot but hey, there’s a lot to do at the moment.’

‘But how are you going to do it? Where do we even start? I mean, nearly getting yourself killed or being stuck up a tree won’t achieve all that,’ she said, referring to my previous plans.

‘I know, and I’m also aware I only have so many lives left, so let’s not risk them.’

‘But Dad,’ George piped up. ‘How can you make Tomasz go to Poland?’

‘I don’t know. What I need to do is find a common thread.’ I started thinking. Thinking made me hungry. It wasn’t lunchtime but I could hear the gentle rumble of my stomach, and then I saw a butterfly, which I decided to jump for. I missed, of course, and landed in a flowerbed. I rolled off and Tiger laughed.

‘Right, well Dustbin is on board with the cat problems but for all the others I want us to have a good think. We’ll meet tomorrow to see if we’re any closer to a grand plan.’ George looked confused, Tiger amused. As I brushed a petal off my head, I tried to muster all the dignity I had left.

As George and I walked home, we saw Tash approaching.

‘Hello, boys,’ she said. George rubbed up against her legs. She scooped him up, holding him so tightly he began to wriggle.

‘Sorry, my little angel, hope I didn’t squeeze too tight.’ George purred in response; he was such a flirt. Then I saw her eyes were red. Although we were still in the street, I rubbed against her legs. ‘Oh, Alfie, I’m so confused,’ she said. She slumped down on someone’s front wall, still holding George. I jumped up next to her.

‘Miaow?’

‘It’s Max. I really like him, but I’m so afraid, and I’ve been arguing with Dave about Elijah and money.’

‘Yowl,’ I said, to show my disapproval of Dave.

‘I know, I know, he’s such an idiot. But Max … Well, he’s lovely, but I told him I needed to take some time out from us. I just don’t know if I can do it, a relationship, it’s too confusing.’

I was cross. Not because of Tash — I understood how she was feeling. After all, I still couldn’t even contemplate replacing Snowball, but then she wasn’t an idiot like Dave. I needed Tash to remember that thing about snatching happiness whenever you could. As I tried to comfort her, along with George, who was being so affectionate, I remembered that when I got Claire and Jonathan together, after Claire had had a disastrous relationship with a man — I couldn’t bring myself to say his name — Claire had said it was too soon for her to think about dating Jonathan, and Tash had pointed out that if she lost a good man like Jonathan because of a bad man like him , then she’d regret it. Where were her wise words when it came to herself?

‘Miaow!’ Give yourself the chance to be happy, I tried to say, but she didn’t seem to be listening.

That night, yet again, I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake, wracking my brain for a plan. George was fast asleep, thankfully, but I could hear voices coming from Claire and Jonathan’s room. I moved closer to the door to listen.

‘Just shut up, Jon, you’re being really mean,’ I heard Claire shout. Her voice wobbled and she sounded close to tears.

‘No, I’m not. But, Claire, this is the truth, you wanted the truth, I don’t think I can love a child who isn’t mine, especially an older one. They will already have a personality, probably come from a terrible background and will need extra-special care. It’s not about whether I want to do it or not, it’s that I simply don’t feel I can. How many times can I tell you that I don’t think I can do this!’ He sounded particularly angry.

‘I think you can. I think we can. This isn’t about just you, Jonathan, this is about us as a family.’

‘A family which at the moment seems close to falling apart,’ Jonathan hissed.

‘So now you’re threatening me?’

‘No, Claire, I’m trying to tell you how I feel but you can’t seem accept it, or even have a rational discussion about it.’

‘No, I can’t, because the man I love wouldn’t threaten me.’ Jonathan made a frustrated noise and then went quiet. I watched from the shadows as the door opened and Claire went into the spare room, where once again she cried herself to sleep.

‘We are now in a state of emergency,’ I announced the next day, having gathered all my cat friends at our usual spot. I needed the whole gang. I felt a little bit like I was commanding an army as I strode backwards and forwards, although they weren’t exactly standing to attention. Elvis was lying on his back, enjoying the sun; Tiger sat with George lying between her paws, looking very sweet; Rocky and Nellie were sitting together; and Tinkerbell was cleaning the back of his legs in a move that would make most yoga enthusiasts jealous. Only Pinkie was absent, which was a stark reminder of one of the reasons we were here.

‘Oh, that sounds very incredibly serious,’ Nellie said excitedly. She loved drama.

‘Not only do we need to find those missing cats, but I also need help with all my humans.’

‘Right, Alfie, so what do you want us to do?’ Elvis asked.

‘Firstly, the cats. We are all feeling under stress now that Pinkie is gone. I mean, we don’t know who or what this threat is and when it might come for any one of us.’ I glanced at George, who thankfully was being nuzzled by Tiger and didn’t seem to be listening.

‘I heard that in some places they eat cats,’ Nellie said. We all shuddered.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Rocky said, but he looked terrified. ‘No one would eat a cat.’

‘What could be happening to all these cats though?’ Elvis said.

‘I have no idea, but listen, my pal Dustbin is on the case for us so I think our best course of action is to wait until we hear back from him. If anyone can find out anything it’s him. But then I also have the other issues and I need you to help me come up with a big idea. A grand plan.’ I explained the problems with all my families to them, leaving no stone unturned.

‘When my family wanted to go overseas they went to a travel agent,’ Rocky said, not very helpfully.

‘I don’t think that’s the issue,’ I pointed out.‘I know I can’t literally make Tomasz go to Poland to get his family but I need to make him realise that that’s what he needs to do.’