Mike Bartlett - Wild

ANDREW So I have to –

WOMAN You have to check with us what you want to say about stuff and assuming it’s not completely off beam and weird then go for it. When things happen.

ANDREW From Russia.

WOMAN Moscow yes. This is where you’ll live.

Pause .

So. What? Why aren’t you talking now? What’s going on?

ANDREW I’m not going to stay in Moscow for ever –

WOMAN Why not?

ANDREW I don’t need to join you.

WOMAN We’re going to help you.

ANDREW You’re going to help me yes, because it benefits you. You need me.

WOMAN Don’t step to me small man.

ANDREW – like you said this is probably the most important leak ever – in terms of impact this dwarfs what you’ve done before – and more than that, it justifies itself in clearer ways. You want me associated with you, because you need me, because, I’m right, in this instance – people are realising that I’m incontrovertibly justified, which was not the same with all the military secrets you put out.

WOMAN Not me.

ANDREW Your organisation.

WOMAN Well we’re getting into collective responsibility now.

ANDREW Okay let’s get into that then.

WOMAN We don’t really – that’s not how we work, we’re more like an idea that is constantly evolving depending on the views of the current members and the response to the need of the – oh okay I’m not even convincing myself. Yes we make, made, mistakes, not ones I’m particularly into justifying I didn’t want to release all of that I said it would do us harm and it did.

ANDREW He ordered it didn’t he?

WOMAN He… did. Yes he did.

ANDREW Despite all of you saying it was a bad idea.

WOMAN That’s correct.

ANDREW So why do you still work for him?

WOMAN Because ultimately he’s vain, and he’s doing this more for himself than for anybody else, and he has a very dark side which we won’t go into, but ultimately underneath all that (and maybe you need all that to do what he does) but underneath all that, the basic idea of what he’s doing is right.

ANDREW You could be talking about Stalin.

WOMAN Oh. Please. No. Don’t do that. The basic idea is right, but the nature of it being so loosely controlled is that it’s loosely controlled – however I suppose the appeal for me – and maybe this is not so different from what you described earlier Andrew – is that I may be a player, or at the very least present when events happen which change the course of history. I may be part of that and if I am close to those events I may be able to alter them. And to my extremely clever mind, that is a good use of my resources, even if it means hanging out with people I don’t like very much, and being close to decisions I don’t agree with.

ANDREW The fact is, you need me more than I need you.

Pause .

WOMAN You think that?

ANDREW All this time you’re speaking with me. The money you must have spent for the accommodation and lawyers.

As you said yourself, I represent a chance for you to get back in the game. To restore your credibility.

Beat .

No.

WOMAN I thought we were getting on…

ANDREW I am not being your spokesperson. If you’re offering help that’s great, and I’ve no doubt you’ll tell everyone you’re helping me, but you don’t get anything actively in return from me, I’m not going to be part of your group, or any group. I’m not going to become a face for hire. I’m just… me.

WOMAN I see.

Well… In that case I’ll tell him you’re not interested.

ANDREW Sure.

WOMAN He won’t make contact.

ANDREW Okay.

WOMAN We’ll leave you in the hotel tonight, then you’re on your own. It’s a shame but –

ANDREW You’re going to help me anyway, what I represent –

WOMAN How’s the Russian?

ANDREW I can wait.

WOMAN Not great is it, but anyway dossvidanija, I hope you get to see the dostoprimechatelnosti before you get kicked out.

ANDREW You need to be associated with me.

WOMAN Are you going to help us out?

Andrew?

Last chance?

Wanna play ball?

No?

Okay.

Have a think.

See you later.

Maybe.

She smiles and goes .

He stands for a moment .

Then blackout .

A while later .

A knock at the door .

ANDREW Who is it?

A MAN enters, wearing a suit. He’s very serious .

MAN Hi.

ANDREW Is it open?

MAN Yes.

Andrew.

ANDREW Are you.

MAN What?

ANDREW Are you him? You don’t –

MAN Who?

ANDREW Him?

MAN Er… I don’t know if you should be expecting me. Did you know I was coming?

ANDREW That depends who you are.

MAN My name is George.

ANDREW George?

MAN I’m here to help you. He sent me.

ANDREW He…

MAN Yes, you know –

ANDREW I’m… I’ve been told I should stay here and that he’ll make contact –

MAN Er – don’t think so. Ha! Who told you that?

ANDREW The other, the…

MAN What? Other?

ANDREW The lady. It doesn’t matter.

MAN Lady?

ANDREW There was a lady?

MAN What lady?

ANDREW Sent by him, working with him, she was looking after me while I waited to see him. She worked for him.

MAN I work for him.

ANDREW You… what?

MAN There isn’t a lady. Hasn’t been a lady. He sent me here to help you out. He’s trapped, you know he can’t leave London, that’s why he sent me.

ANDREW Wait – there was a woman. A lady who said she was…

MAN Was?

ANDREW …okay…

MAN What did you tell her?

ANDREW I don’t – a lot.

MAN Where’s she gone?

ANDREW She left.

MAN When?

ANDREW A hour ago. Not long.

MAN She’s not working for us.

ANDREW How do you know?

MAN Are you listening, Andrew, I know because I work for him and she doesn’t. What did you tell her?

ANDREW …nothing.

MAN Really?

ANDREW She seemed to know most things already.

MAN She… right. Excellent. Right. Well…

That’s a shame.

ANDREW So you’re…

MAN George.

Hello.

What was her name?

ANDREW …she called herself Miss Prism.

MAN First name?

ANDREW Of course I knew it wasn’t her real name.

MAN Did she give a first name?

ANDREW George.

MAN What?

ANDREW George.

MAN Yes?

ANDREW She said her first name was George .

MAN George is a boy’s name.

ANDREW Well that’s what I said.

MAN George is my name.

Beat .

I think she was playing with you.

ANDREW So who was she?

MAN Did you ask her for any identification?

ANDREW No but… presumably even if I did she could have got it forged.

MAN That’s true.

ANDREW So she could have been anything? Anyone.

Journalist. Spy.

MAN Right.

ANDREW And I told her…

MAN What?

ANDREW Well actually she seemed to know a lot about me already.

MAN Everyone knows everything about you Andrew.

It’s everywhere. You can’t very well do what you did and then ask for any kind of privacy. You are probably the most open target in terms of digging for dirt, you better not have done anything too weird. Ever.

ANDREW I haven’t.

MAN Ever.

ANDREW I really haven’t.

MAN You – Oh come on Andrew. Everyone’s done something weird at some point.

Haven’t they?

I have.

Haven’t they?

ANDREW

Pause .

So she knows where I am.

MAN Yes apparently she does.

The MAN reaches into his case .

Chocolate. Thought you might want it. Sugar levels.