Vladimir Putin - First Person

It wasn’t my fault. He jumped in front of me or something…. Decided to put an end to his life…. I don’t know what on earth he was doing. He was an idiot. He ran off after I hit him.

They say you chased him.

What? You think I hit a guy with my car and then tried to chase him down? I’m not a beast. I just got out of the car.

Are you able to remain calm in critical situations?

Yes, I remain calm. Even too calm. Later, when I went to intelligence school, I once got an evaluation, where they wrote the following as a negative character assessment: “A lowered sense of danger.” That was considered a very serious flaw. You have to be pumped up in critical situations in order to react well. Fear is like pain. It’s an indicator. If something hurts, that means something’s wrong with your body. It’s a sign. I had to work on my sense of danger for a long time.

Evidently you aren’t a gambler?

No, I’m not a gambler.

Toward the end of university we went to military training camp. Two of my friends were there, one of whom had gone to Gagry with me. We spent two months there. It was much easier than the athletic camps, and we got really bored. The main source of entertainment was cards. Whoever won went to the village and bought milk from an old lady. I refused to play, but my friends didn’t. And they lost everything quickly. When they had nothing left, they would come and plead for money. They were real gamblers. And I would ask myself, “Should I give them anything? They’ll just lose it.” And they would say, “Listen, your few kopecks won’t save you anyway. Why not just give them to us.” And I would say to them “Alright. After all, I have a lowered sense of danger,” and hand over the cash.

Boy, did they make out like bandits! They couldn’t lose for winning. And we went to buy milk from the lady every night.

University is a time for romances. Did you have any?

Who didn’t? But nothing serious… if you don’t count that one time.

First love?

Yes. She and I even planned to tie the knot.

When did that happen?

About four years before I actually got married.

So it didn’t work out?

That’s right.

What got in the way?

Something. Some intrigue or other.

She married someone else?

Someone else? Yes, later.

Who decided that you wouldn’t get married?

I did. I made the decision. We had already applied for a marriage license. Everything was ready. Our parents on both sides had bought everything—the ring, the suit, the wedding dress…. The cancellation was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. It was really hard. I felt like a real creep. But I decided that it was better to suffer then than to have both of us suffer later.

That is, you literally ran away and left her at the altar?

Almost. Except that I didn’t run away. I told her the truth—as much of it as I considered necessary.

Do you not want to talk about it?

No, I don’t. It’s a complicated story. It’s the way it was. It was really hard.

Do you have any regrets?

No.

Sergei Roldugin:

I liked his girlfriend, she was a pretty girl; a medical student with a strong character. She was a friend to him, a woman who would take care of him. But did she love him? I don’t know. Lyuda, his wife—or Lyudik, as we call her—now, she really loves him.

I got along very well with that girl. I think her name was also Lyuda. She used to worry about his health. It wasn’t just, “Oh, honey, how do you feel?” She would say, “Now, I can tell your stomach is hurting.” I don’t know what happened between them. He didn’t tell me anything. He just said that it was all over. I think the falling-out was just between them, because their parents had agreed to the match.

Vovka suffered, of course. The thing is, we are both Libras and we take things like that very much to heart. And at that time I saw that he… that his… that he was a very emotional person but he simply could not express his emotions. I often used to tell him that he was terrible at making conversation. Why did he have such trouble talking?

Of course, he is Cicero now, compared to the way he talked back then. I used to explain to him, “You talk very quickly, and you should never talk so quickly.” As a stage performer, I thought I could help him out. He had very strong emotions, but he could not put them into any form. I think his profession left its imprint on his speech. Now he speaks beautifully. Expansively, intelligibly, and with feeling. Where did he learn to do that?

So you didn’t collaborate with the KGB while you were an undergraduate?

They didn’t even try to recruit me as an agent, although it was a widespread practice at the time. There were many people who collaborated with the security agencies. The cooperation of normal citizens was an important tool for the state’s viable activity. But the main point was the kind of basis this cooperation was established upon. Do you know what a “seksot” is?

It means secret colleague or collaborator.

Right. But do you know why it has acquired such a negative connotation?

Because collaborators fulfilled a certain function.

What function?

Ideological.

Yes, ideological. They did political sleuthing. Everyone thinks that intelligence is interesting. Do you know that ninety percent of all the intelligence information is obtained from an agent’s network made up of ordinary Soviet citizens? These agents decide to work for the interests of the state. It doesn’t matter what this work is called. The important thing is upon which basis this cooperation takes place. If it is based on betrayal and material gain, that’s one thing. But if it is based on some idealistic principles, then it’s something else. What about the struggle against banditry? You can’t do anything without secret agents. [4] This segment of questions and answers was published in newspapers, but was not included in the Russian edition of Vladimir Putin’s book, First Person. Several other passages from the interviews that were published only in newspapers are included in this English edition.

So when did you join the KGB?

All those years in university I waited for the man at the KGB office to remember me. It seemed that he had forgotten about me. After all, I had gone to see him as a school kid. Who would’ve thought that I could have such spunk? But I recalled that they didn’t like people to show their own initiative, so I didn’t make myself known. I kept quiet.

Four years passed. Nothing happened. I decided that the case was closed, and I began to work out different options for finding employment either in the special prosecutor’s office or as an attorney. Both are prestigious fields.

But then, when I was in my fourth year of university, a man came and asked me to meet with him. He didn’t say who he was, but I immediately figured it out, because he said, “I need to talk to you about your career assignment. I wouldn’t like to specify exactly what it is yet.”

I picked up on it immediately. If they didn’t want to say where , that meant it was there .

We agreed to meet right in the faculty vestibule. He was late. I waited for about 20 minutes. Well, I thought, what a swine! Or was someone playing a prank on me? And I decided to leave. Then suddenly he ran up, all out of breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

I liked that.