Arnold Schwarzenegger - Total Recall - My Unbelievably True Life Story

From then on, in all my action movies, we would ask the writers to add humor, even if it was just two or three lines. Sometimes a writer would be hired specifically for that purpose. Those one-liners became my trademark, and the corny humor deflected some of the criticism that action films were too violent and one-dimensional. It opened up the movie and made it appealing to more people.

I’d visualize an inventory of all the different countries in my mind’s eye—a little like the Terminator’s list of “possible appropriate responses” in that flophouse scene. “How will this play in Germany?” I’d ask myself. “Will they get it in Japan? How will this play in Canada? How will this play in Spain? How about the Middle East?” In most cases, my movies sold even better abroad than in the United States. That was partly because I traveled all over promoting them like mad. But it was also because the movies themselves were so straightforward. They made sense no matter where you lived. The Terminator, Commando, Predator, Raw Deal, Total Recall —they all focused on universal themes such as good versus evil, or getting revenge, or a vision of the future that anyone would fear.

Red Heat was the only movie that was even slightly political—it was the first American production ever allowed to film in Moscow’s Red Square. This was during the détente period of the mid-1980s, when the USSR and the US were trying to figure out how to work together and end the Cold War. But my intentions were mainly to make a buddy movie, with me as a Moscow cop and Jim Belushi as a Chicago cop teaming up to stop Russian cocaine dealers from sending the stuff to America. Walter Hill, our director, wrote and directed 48 Hrs. , and the idea here was to combine action and comedy.

All Walter had in the beginning was an opening scene, which is often how movies get made: you have one idea and then sit down and cook up the rest of the roughly one hundred pages for the script. I play a Soviet detective named Ivan Danko, and in this scene I’m chasing a guy down. I find him in a Moscow pub, and when he resists arrest, we fight. After I have him subdued and helpless on the floor, to the horror of the bystanders, I lift his right leg and brutally break it. Moviegoers would be grossed out by that. Why would you break a guy’s leg? Well, in the next instant, you see that the limb is artificial, and it’s filled with white powder: cocaine. That was Walter’s idea, and as soon as I heard it, I said, “I love it, I’m in.”

We talked back and forth as he wrote the script, and we decided that it would be good to have the buddy relationship reflect the working relationship between East and West. Which is to say that there is a lot of friction between Danko and Belushi’s character, Detective Sergeant Art Ridzik. We’re supposed to be working together, but we’re constantly on each other’s case. He makes fun of my green uniform and my accent. We argue about which is the most powerful handgun in the world. I say it’s the Soviet Patparine. “Oh, come on!” he says. “Everybody knows the .44 Magnum is the big boy on the block. Why do you think Dirty Harry uses it?” And I ask, “Who is Dirty Harry?” But our working together is the only way to stop the cocaine smugglers.

Walter had me watch Greta Garbo in the 1939 film Ninotchka to get a handle on how Danko should react as a loyal Soviet in the West. I got to learn a little Russian, and it was a role for which my own accent was a plus. I loved filming in Moscow and also loved doing the fight scene in the sauna where a gangster challenges Danko by handing him a burning coal. He’s amazed when Danko doesn’t flinch; the cop simply takes the coal and squeezes it in his fist. Then he punches the guy through a window and leaps after him to continue the fight in the snow. We shot the first half of that scene in Budapest’s Rudas Thermal Bath and the second half in Austria because Budapest had no snow.

Red Heat was a success, grossing $35 million in the States, but it wasn’t the smash I’d expected. Why is hard to guess. It could be that audiences were not ready for Russia, or that my and Jim Belushi’s performances were not funny enough, or that the director didn’t do a good enough job. For whatever reason, it just didn’t quite close the deal.

Whenever I finished filming a movie, I felt my job was only half done. Every film had to be nurtured in the marketplace. You can have the greatest movie in the world, but if you don’t get it out there, if people don’t know about it, you have nothing. It’s the same with poetry, with painting, with writing, with inventions. It always blew my mind that some of the greatest artists, from Michelangelo to van Gogh, never sold much because they didn’t know how. They had to rely on some schmuck—some agent or manager or gallery owner—to do it for them. Picasso would go into a restaurant and do a drawing or paint a plate for a meal. Now you go to these restaurants in Madrid, and the Picassos are hanging on the walls, worth millions of dollars. That wasn’t going to happen to my movies. Same with bodybuilding, same with politics—no matter what I did in life, I was aware that you had to sell it.

As Ted Turner said, “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.” So I made it my business to be there for test screenings. A theater full of people would fill out questionnaires rating the film, and afterward twenty or thirty would be asked to stay and discuss their reactions. The experts from the studio were concerned primarily with two things. One was to see if the movie needed to be changed. If the questionnaires indicated that people didn’t like the ending, the marketers would ask the focus group to elaborate so we could consider changing it. “I thought it was fake for the hero to survive after all that shooting,” they might say, or “I wish you’d shown his daughter one more time so we could see what happened to her.” Sometimes they would point out issues you hadn’t thought about while filming.

The marketers were also looking for cues on how to position the film. If they saw that a majority loved the action, they’d promote it as an action movie. If people loved the little boy who appeared at the beginning, they’d use him in the trailer. If the people responded to a particular theme—say, the star’s relationship with her mother—then they’d play that up.

I was there for personal feedback. I wanted to hear what the test audience thought about the character I played, about the quality of the performance, and about what they’d like to see me do more or less of. That way I knew what I needed to work on and what kinds of parts I should play next. Many actors get their cues from the marketing department, but I wanted it directly from the viewers, without the interpretation. Listening also made me a more effective promoter. If someone said, “This movie isn’t just about payback. It’s about overcoming tough obstacles,” I would write down those lines and use them in the media interviews.

You have to cultivate your audience and expand it with each film. With each movie, it was crucial to have a certain percentage of viewers say, “I would go see another movie of his anytime.” Those are the people who’ll tell their friends, “You’ve got to see this guy.” Nurturing a movie means paying attention to the distributors also: the middlemen who talk theater owners into putting your movie on their screens rather than somebody else’s. The distributors need to know you’re not going to let them hang out there by themselves. Instead, you’ll appear at ShoWest, the National Association of Theatre Owners convention in Las Vegas, and take pictures with the theater owners, and accept an award, and give a talk about your movie, and go to the press conference. You do the things that the distributors feel are important because then they go all out in pushing the theaters. Later that week, one of them might call you and say, “You gave that speech the other day, and I just want you to know how helpful it was. The guys who own these multiplex theaters agreed to give us two screens at each multiplex rather than one screen, because they felt like you are really pushing the movie, that you believe in it, and because you promised to come through their town promoting the movie.”