Tera Patrick - Sinner Takes All

Tony Lee just kept reminding me that the fans would love whatever I did, but I couldn’t help but wonder: Are they going to expect me to shoot fire out of my ass? What are they going to expect to see? I was terrified but excited before my first show.

We get to my dressing room backstage at the Admiral, and I immediately felt comfortable as I saw photos of Chasey Lain, a gorgeous Vivid Girl, on the wall. I felt like I was in good company and it eased my fears a little bit. I got suited up in a pink/black/white punk-rock schoolgirl outfit and walked out of my dressing room to see what the stage looked like, and I was shocked. It wasn’t called Admiral Theatre for nothing! The “club” was actually an old theater with theater seating and a traditional stage… with no stripper pole! I was horrified. I had planned to walk out onstage and head straight to that pole, but this stage didn’t have one. What was I going to do? Panic set in. They announce me; my heart starts pounding, and all I can think is, “I have no idea what I’m doing! I didn’t plan for a stage without a pole!”

The curtain opened and there were five hundred fans out there all standing up and cheering for me to come out and do my thing. The lights were bright and the crowd was loud and I still didn’t know what my first move was going to be. It felt like one of those dreams where you find yourself naked in a classroom and everyone is staring at you. I was petrified. But I knew I couldn’t disappoint. So I put on a huge smile and I walked out onstage as if I was walking onto a catwalk and I did my best runway walk. The crowd went crazy and I immediately felt more at ease.

After a few introductory bend-overs and kisses blown to the crowd, my stripper instinct took over and somehow I just knew exactly what to do. Every girl has an inner stripper, and I was no different. Off my clothes went. One by one, I peeled off my lingerie and threw it on the stage like an old pro. It was exhilarating. Every move I made, the crowd cheered me on. I was trying to keep my sexy face on, but I couldn’t help but smile. I’ve never done anything so raw before in front of such a large audience. It was a thrill.

My early shows were more like a photo shoot in slow motion. I would walk around the stage doing various modeling poses to the music. But it was very sexual. The first song was like the foreplay and I’d take off my sheer robe or little top. The second was where the sex begins and I’d take off my skirt or shorts. The third song was the big reveal and off my top would go. And the fourth and final song was the big climax when my panties would come off and I’d do my giveaways of posters and photos.

A typical set-list for my show was:

1. AC/DC, “Girls Got Rhythm”

2. Def Leppard, “Pour Some Sugar on Me”

3. Marilyn Manson, “Great Big White World”

4. AC/DC, “Givin the Dog a Bone”

When my fifteen minutes were up, I ran backstage, pleased with my performance, still panting and hot from the show. Evan rushed in and immediately yelled, “What did you do?”

“What? No, ‘Great job on your first show, honey’?” I thought.

“You forgot to take their money!” Evan said.

The bouncer then walks backstage and says to Evan, “Why didn’t she take any money?”

Oh my God! They were right. I forgot to take the money from the customers! I was so excited to be onstage performing that I forgot to even one time bend down and take that 20-dollar bill from the guy’s hand like you’re supposed to. It was flashing back to me now. The stage was lined with girls and guys holding up bills, waving money at me, and looking up at me in anticipation. And I forgot to go to those fans and take their money!

“You did not take one dollar from the customers,” Evan sighed, completely exasperated.

No worries. I could make up the loss by selling them my merchandise. I powdered up my face, put on fresh lipstick, and threw on a sexy robe and went out to greet my fans. There were about 300 fans in line waiting to spend their money on me. For $50, they could pose for a Polaroid photo with me topless, and I would sign the photo. For $30, they could buy a signed DVD of one of my movies. And for just $10 they could buy a signed 8 x 10 glossy photo of me. Between the guaranteed fee of $3,000 and my merchandise sales, I made close to $10,000 that night.

But more important, it helped pull me out of my depression because: (1) I had a job and we needed the money. (2) I got to go on a dance tour and see new places. And (3) There is nothing like standing onstage and having a room full of people cheering for you. I felt like a rock star. It was a creative new outlet for me. It’s something so terrifying and so freeing at the same time. And dancing turned me on. When the crowd cheered for me, my nipples would get hard and my pussy would get wet. Dancing was another way to turn guys on and be the exhibitionist that I am.

I think dancers are among the bravest people in the world. You are going out onstage whether you feel you look good or not and you are taking money from people. The average person has that nightmare of being in class or in the boardroom and suddenly they are naked, or on a busy street and naked. We live that nightmare. But for me, it was my dream.

Proud of my earnings as a stripper

That dream soon took me dancing all around the world from every major city in the U.S. to France, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Belgium, Portugal, Hungary, Croatia, England, Scotland, Australia, and other countries. I made $3,000 for my guaranteed fee at every show, but took in between $10,000 and $60,000 per engagement with the tips (which I never failed to remember to pick up after that first time) and merchandise sales each night. I danced three weekends a month for about four years in a row. The Foxy Lady in Rhode Island was one of my biggest bookings—$35,000 for ten shows. We came home with nearly $60,000 in twenties, tens, fives, and singles that night. The strangest place I danced was at Anthony’s Showplace in Tennessee. It was a converted church. As I strutted my stuff onstage I kept saying in my head, “Sorry, God!”

But hands down, the craziest performance I ever danced was on July 24, 2004, at the Pink Pony in Atlanta. I was into my third song, which was either Marilyn Manson’s “Great Big White World” or Deftones’ “Change,” and I do this move where I’m on my back on the floor with my back arched and my legs slightly spread and I do a little shimmy. All of a sudden, I feel this girl right between my legs and she’s trying to take my panties off. There was no security, and Evan was off getting the bag of merchandise that I throw out to the crowd for my final song.

I bolted upright and tried to push her way, literally kicking her away with my legs and she’s still clinging on to me. I was screaming, “No! No! No!” but kind of laughing at the same time. The girl was clearly wasted and she was just going for it… going for me! She was relentless and wouldn’t let up. I think she just got really excited and couldn’t contain it. All of a sudden the DJ says, “Wow. We got a live one!” Evan finally saw what was happening, rushed to my side, and pushed her back down.

One of my favorite dancing gigs was at the Trails Men’s Club in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s a gorgeous club with a long, winding stage with rails on the sides that you can really use to your advantage when dancing. And it was a pasties club, which meant that I didn’t have to get naked! Once in a while, I liked not having to get naked. I felt like a true rock star there. They put a star with my name on it on the outside of my dressing room door and gave me monogrammed towels to use for my shower that night. I still have those towels. And my dressing room was filled with gift baskets of champagne, soaps, perfume, lotions, body sprays, and other girlie things that I loved.