John Holmes - Porn King

In 2000, a forty-page indictment was served on Eddie Nash in regards to The Wonderland Murders. John was once again mentioned in connection to the murders. Because I was sitting on the tapes which were used to compile this book and because I had gone to the LAPD just a year earlier, I didn’t want a gag order to be placed on the tapes. With my public relation person’s help, we leaked some crucial parts of the audio to the media. When the FBI heard about this, they seized the tapes from me. After reviewing the tapes, they cleared John once again of any wrongdoing pertaining to the murders. The FBI was concluding a five-year investigation on the Wonderland murders and incredibly, the LAPD never informed them of the audio tapes. The FBI agent was nice enough to return the tapes after their conclusion.

Shortly after the incident with the FBI, I was contacted by E-True Hollywood. They wanted to interview me as they were doing a “John Holmes story.” After talking to them as to what their agenda behind their project was, I came to the conclusion that I wanted no part in their story. I declined to be interviewed. I was mentioned in the flawed piece but other than that, I was skipped right over. I don’t regret not being interviewed, as I believe they would have attempted to misconstrue anything I might have contributed.

In 2001, I went to work for Sharon Mitchell at AIM Healthcare (Adult Industry Medical). I was initially hired for some data entry work but soon became a Certified Phlebotomy Technician. I was poking between 20 and 30 porn stars per day. I was later given the position of Office Manager. I really enjoyed my job and worked long hours to achieve the company’s mission statement of helping to ensure a safe work place for all performers. After all, this had been John’s dream long ago. However, in the spring of 2003, Sharon and I simply had irreconcilable differences and I left AIM Healthcare, forever.

Sometime in 2003, I received news of another movie being made about John and the Wonderland murders. The film was called Wonderland and Val Kilmer was to play the part of John Holmes. I contacted the producer and offered John’s personal tapes. However, the producer told me that he didn’t need or want the audio tapes. He claimed they already had their story line. Dawn and Sharon were telling their story. I feared the truth would be made far from clear and my suspicions were right. This was Dawn’s big moment to cash in on the John Holmes Story and she did just that. Claiming to be his victim, she continues the plot today, taking no responsibility for her own actions and continually contradicting herself. At the end of the movie, they showed someone in a scene beating the people at Wonderland with something that looked like a pipe. In a Rashomon fashion, the audience was led to believe that John had committed the murders. Never mind that John had been acquitted all those years ago, or that the FBI had again cleared John, some twelve years after his death. After all, this was Hollywood. The day the movie premiered at The Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd., I received a phone call from long time friend, Ron Jeremy. He had tickets to the premiere and wanted to know if I would go with him. I thought, “Why not?” I was really curious anyway. We strolled down the red carpet and mingled our way through the crowd. I spotted the producer and asked him why he didn’t want to use the tapes. He claimed he never heard of them. I had a bad feeling in my gut and honestly, I was required at a birthday party elsewhere. I left before the movie began. Later, after I saw the movie, I was glad that I had left the premiere early. Had I stayed and watched this horrible movie unfold before my eyes, I probably would have been on the front page of The LA Times the following day and it wouldn’t have been pretty. I was devastated after viewing the movie, Wonderland. I became very depressed and fell further into my own addiction. Shortly after Wonderland was released, I was contacted by the same FBI agent that I had dealt with in 2000 over the audio tapes. He stated that he had just watched the movie Wonderland and wanted to know what I thought of it. I told him that I didn’t believe the LAPD ever wanted to solve the murders and he agreed. He was shocked that they had practically made David Lind out to be the good guy in the film. The agent also commented that he thought everything about the film was wrong. It wasn’t until 2007 when I finally figured out that I had simply had enough. I was tired of my drug-induced lifestyle. I was tired of the “friends” that came along with it. I moved close to my family in the mountains of Colorado and cleaned up. I was determined to start a new life for myself, surrounded by clean air, clean water and new people.

Shortly after I moved to Colorado I was contacted by Jennifer Sugar and Jill Nelson. They were doing a John Holmes biography and wanted to interview me. I agreed to be interviewed only after I knew their agenda. Their agenda was to write a fair and balanced biography about John and they were interviewing many people. On August 8, 2008, John Holmes, A Life Measured in Inches was on the shelf. I attended the book signing in Hollywood, where I was greeted by many long-time friends of John’s and mine. Seka was unable to attend; however, she had written the kindest letter to be read out loud. She wrote:

I was so excited the first time I met John Holmes. Mr. Holmes was the KING for God’s sake and I was going to be working with him—yes, me—Seka and the KING.

The movie was Dracula Sucks and all of the heavy hitters were in that movie. It was enough to take your breath away. We got past all of the polite intros and then John came up to me and said, ‘Let’s take a little walk. I want to let you in on a few things.’ As we walked along, I was thinking of how nervous I was and then suddenly, I realized that I was not at all nervous. That was ‘THAT THING’ John had about him; the ability to put you at ease right off the bat. The most important thing I remember about that moment was something John said to me that day…

‘Look, Seka, do not ever do anything you, yourself do not want to do.’ Little did I know how important that single statement would be when it came to the set of that movie. There was something that I did not want to do and I remembered John’s words.

I DID NOT DO WHAT WAS BEING ASKED OF ME, AS I DID NOT WANT TO.

Thank you, John. Your advice has come in handy many times throughout the years.

To this day, I miss John very much. He is and was a wonderful person.

Laurie, you should also be told just how wonderful you are, as well, for I know John must have loved you very much. Thank you for standing by John through all the ups and downs and for staying strong for him then, as you remain strong for him to this day.

I love you, sister.

Today I remain in colorful Colorado where I am dedicated to a drug and porn-free life. I work a normal job and get a normal paycheck just like everyone else. I try to remain somewhat anonymous about this story among my peers. What people don’t know simply can’t hurt me! Still, I struggle with this. After all, it’s everything you do in life that makes you who you are today. I have survived not only my own trials and tribulations; but also John’s. I have spent most of my adult life trying to commemorate the memory of my beloved husband. I continue to fight both of our battles. It’s a difficult journey to look down the demon of having a past in porn. Still, I hold my head up high and try to remember only the laughter. Approaching age 50 now, I doubt anyone can fathom the many miles of my grief. Someday, just like John, I too hope to look up to heaven and go in peace and someday I know he will be waiting for me on the other side.

I doubt that John would approve or think very highly of the industry today. It’s so ugly. The art of lovemaking has been lost somewhere in the many twist and turns the industry has taken through the years. There is no more “art” form; it’s mostly degradation and there are no more “stars,” instead a never ending appetite for new “talent.” The industry that John knew all those years ago is gone forever, as is the magic. I would discourage anyone from getting into the porn business today. I believe if John were still alive today, he would feel the same way. The porn business will chew you up and spit you out quicker than anything.