Array Seka - Inside Seka

As owner of the site, how do I feel about making money off someone else having sex? Well, people have been doing it to me long enough, so it doesn’t feel exploitative. And unlike most in this cutthroat industry, I try to help my peers. I will always give an actress advice on where to get content, advice on who is honest in the business, and how to protect themselves legally.

I’ve always wanted the site to have style and class, without having to stoop to just going all out to get people’s attention. My vision for the site is to portray myself with dignity and respect. I won’t put violent sex on it — no choking and gagging. That wasn’t a part of what I did to begin with. It’s not something I personally like because I think it’s degrading to women — unless, of course, it’s something they’re actually into. But I don’t think it’s very sexy. I don’t even think it has a lot to do with sex. I think it has everything to do with control.

I get comments like, “Why don’t you have more anal? Why don’t you have more S&M?” Yet I stick to my guns with what I have up there. My own footage is tame in comparison to the rest of the industry.

I fully realize there are people who are always going to look at the site as nothing more than smut. And I know better than to argue with someone whose mind is already made up. But I honestly don’t see anything wrong with someone escaping online and getting away from his or her problems for a bit. And if they get off on it, maybe that release is actually something positive rather than perverted or dirty. But who am I to judge these things?

The bottom line is I now have a job behind a computer keyboard rather than in front of a movie camera. And at this stage in my life, that’s definitely a blessing.

Out of nowhere, I got a phone call from my friend Joey Mondelli, who owned an Italian restaurant named La Scarola’s in Chicago. He said two foreign guys were looking for me but he wouldn’t tell them anything.

“We told them we didn’t know where you were, but if they came back in a few days we’d see if we could find you.”

I have some very protective buddies.

Turns out these two Swedish fellows named Christian and Magnus had been conducting interviews about my career because they were doing a documentary on me. They looked everywhere but couldn’t find me. Seems I was their “favorite.”

Travelling around the world to track down an adult film star seemed a bit odd even to me, but I gave Joey permission to give them my number. When we finally spoke they had really heavy accents and I couldn’t understand much of what they were saying. I met them at La Scarola’s. I wanted to screen these fellows to see if they were legit and just what they were offering.

Both were in their early thirties and very European-looking. One was kind of blonde and a little balding. I wouldn’t say they were terribly attractive; both were average-looking guys. But their personalities were just sparkling. They had on big, heavy coats with red and white Arabian-looking checked scarves. They were all bundled up for our cold Chicago winter. All the while, Joey kept his eye on them.

They spoke enthusiastically and I was flattered. I liked the idea of the documentary so I asked, “What are you going to call it?”

“We think the best name would be Desperately Seeking Seka, because that’s exactly what we have been doing here in the States.”

They told me about the people they had already interviewed like Veronica Hart, Ron Jeremy, and Ron Sullivan, who is better known as director Henri Pachard. And now they wanted to interview me. But when they told me the miniscule amount of money they were able to pay, I blurted out, “Be real!”

We eventually agreed on a price that was actually more than a couple of hundred bucks. Since Seka was desperately seeking some cash, Desperately Seeking Seka was a go.

They needed to come by my place to photograph me for the project. Feeling self-conscious about my weight, I figured I might as well film at my house where I felt most comfortable. I cooked them a nice dinner and the stage was my living room.

I thought they did a nice enough job, although they didn’t ask me anything I hadn’t been asked before. They were pretty pat questions like, “Who was your favorite male co-star? Who was your favorite female costar?” It was actually kind of boring answering the same questions I’d heard so many times over the years. But I had the money in my pocket and did my best to appease them. I honestly didn’t think much would come of the project. Here were two guys going back to Sweden to produce and distribute a low-budget film. They seemed professional enough with the cameras they were using, and were certainly determined, but the idea that it took them a year to find me made it seem like, “How big could it really be?” It wasn’t like I was Howard Hughes or something. I never went out of my way to not be found.

I didn’t even try to pursue royalties or anything. Plus, in my negative state of mind, I didn’t think anybody would even remember me.

Sometime later, they called me about the possibility of doing an appearance for them in Thailand at a film festival where it was being screened. It was a pretty big deal because few films shown there had such strong sexual themes. I was excited about going since I’d never been to Thailand and it sounded exotic. But I got shot down when they were told by the festival board they were not allowed to bring in any of the interview subjects because of the nature of the film.

It was ultimately well received there and it gave the film some momentum. Apparently it did well at various other festivals, and with the nice response they got a U.S. deal with an American distributor. The funny thing was that when I got the movie in the mail I didn’t even watch it for the longest time. I had no rights to it or any money on the back end. To me it was already over and done with. When I finally saw it, it kind of felt like it was more about the adult film industry itself than a movie about me. But it was a good enough film with some real substance to it.

About four years after I’d finished shooting it, I got a call from a company out of New York called The Disinformation Company. They wanted me to promote Desperately Seeking Seka here in the States. They wanted me to hit bookstores and even dangled the bait of TV appearances for me. But once again, the money wasn’t great.

I told them I would do the publicity tour if I got one dollar from every DVD they sold. It sounded more than fair to me since they were selling them for thirty dollars a pop at that point and it was all about me.

“No, we can’t do that.”

I said, “See you. Goodbye.”

They kept calling me back trying to make a deal. My answer was always the same. “I want a dollar per DVD sold.” They offered ten cents per copy. Eventually, the big sports went up to twenty cents. I said I wouldn’t do it unless I got what I wanted. I reached a point where I didn’t even pick up the phone when they called.

There was no bad blood with the Swedish filmmakers themselves, since they understood where I was coming from. They allegedly had some money issues with the same distributors. Ironically, the film did pretty well at first. But I don’t feel I sold myself short. The money I got came in awfully handy and they happened to have been two really nice guys. And I did get something out of it, as they did a hot link from their website to mine, which helped my site grow. But later I saw the price of the video drop dramatically because they didn’t have anyone to promote it properly. You can now pick it up on eBay at around $5 a pop. So much for the glamorous world of documentary filmmaking.