Array Seka - Inside Seka

Swinging was starting to be a big thing in mainstream society and Ken pressured me to try it. This had nothing to do with the movie business; it was just something that was going on between couples all over America.

Quite frankly, after having sex all day on the set, I didn’t want to have it at night. I was also getting tired of Ken always talking about my on-set exploits while we were in bed the night after a shoot. He was all turned on, but I was not only tuckered out, I was skeeved out that he wanted to turn our bedroom into a live sex show.

For me, sex was one way on film, another way with a lover in private. They talk about that whole “life imitates art” thing. I had no desire to “make love like a porn star” at home. I like to cuddle. I like to be romantic, more than graphic. I like the lights off most times, which you can’t do on a movie set unless you film with night-vision goggles.

Ken was different. Ken watched the porn, and then wanted to be the porn — with me, the real life porn star! When was I ever going to get a break?! I didn’t want to be on stage all the time, performing all the time, talking dirty all the time. That stuff isn’t love; it’s lust. Lust is fine; lust is great. But what is life without love?

In the adult biz, we’d heard about swinging for quite a while. But then the dams burst open and it was being written about in almost every mainstream newspaper and magazine in America. It became all Ken would talk about.

After reading some stuff on this new lifestyle, I figured, “What the hell? I can meet some interesting people. I won’t do anything I don’t want to.” And maybe it would get him off my back.

It was the days of Plato’s Retreat. But in California they had swing parties in people’s homes. The first time I went it was in a big, gorgeous house in the suburbs of Los Angeles. There were probably sixty to seventy people there. They were upper middle class and a mix of all races, creeds, and colors. My reaction was like, “Oh my God, don’t these people have any modesty?” This, coming from me, the porn star! But I always had that separation between work and play. Furthermore, I wasn’t an actual star yet. My first party was after only being in California a very short time.

There were fully clothed and naked people throughout the house from the second I walked in. There were skinny people, heavy people, well-built folk — it was a cornucopia of anything you could imagine. People were talking, swimming, eating, and oh yes, having sex.

It was at this private swing party that I saw two women together for the first time, and it didn’t shock me. In fact, I was intrigued by watching them. Yes, I’d seen it on film, but with the little experience I had making movies at the time, I assumed the lesbian scenes were just actors doing their jobs. But these ladies were clearly having a helluva good time. To top it off, there was a circle of people around them watching, like a peanut gallery. And it sure didn’t seem to bother them.

Being in the business, I had become far more comfortable around sex and nudity, but I still felt uneasy here and didn’t know what to say or do. There was no script, no director! I didn’t want to talk to anyone and chose to just sit, watch, and decide if I wanted to participate or not.

I had never been exposed to something like this before. I actually had a hard time looking people in the eye, because the first thing you want to do is look at their crotch when they’re naked and it’s hard to avoid that. It was a lot of information to take in all at once. Quite overwhelming.

Ken suggested we walk towards the back and see what was going on. There were bedrooms with nothing else in the room except mattresses with folks furiously going at it. I thought, “My God, this is a fuck fest.” It was a real, live porn movie, except expanded and without cameras, spilling out all over a huge house, all at once. It made my head spin. The loops I was shooting were nothing like this.

Ken wanted to go into one of the rooms and I really was not comfortable doing that. He was quite excited, so I told him, “If you want to go, then go.” I was tired. I didn’t want to have sex. I’d just come off a film shoot two days earlier. I was exhausted. I figured if he got off with someone else, at least I wouldn’t have to do it with him later that evening.

There was a little patio outside the dining room area leading to a pool and a Jacuzzi. People were hanging around in bathing suits. Decent music was playing. I was hitting the free buffet, more interested in eating and drinking than fucking and sucking.

A couple came up to me and started talking. They were probably in their mid to late thirties. Both were a little heavyset, he more than she. They just sat down and chatted with me. No pressure. No nothing. I was enjoying the conversation with these very nice people. His name was Jack and she was June. She was an executive at a bank and he owned his own business. I found it interesting that swingers seemed to come from every walk of life.

An hour or so passed. In the meantime, my boyfriend was in another room having sex with someone and it didn’t bother me at all. In fact, I wasn’t even enjoying sex with him that much anymore because it felt like it wasn’t with me, but rather about what I had done on set. Ken no longer made love to Dottie; he just fucked Seka.

Ken suddenly came walking out. He was naked, which kind of surprised me. I said, “If you’re done, put your clothes on.”

He looked at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” I introduced him to Jack and June and soon after I said, “Do you mind if we go? I’m really tired.”

We went back to the hotel where we were staying and he asked me what I thought about the whole thing. I said, “It was interesting. But I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable having sex there.” I told him I noticed the female couples were having so much fun and he brought up that they might ask me to do that in a film one day. I thought, “How bad could that be?”

He started to get in bed and it occurred to me he’d just been with someone else and God knows how many others so I said, “Go take a shower.” When he came back to bed he started to try to play around with me and I responded, “Look, I’m really tired. I’m not in the mood for this,” and I went to sleep.

In the morning we got up, took the dogs out, and over breakfast I looked at him and asked, “We’ve been out here a couple of weeks. Are we staying?” It wasn’t easy living out of hotels with two dogs and all our crap.

He found us a place in Diamond Bar in Pomona County. We go to the house and it’s in a great looking neighborhood. I thought it had to be really expensive. It had a circular driveway with iron gates and a pool. Two huge front doors opened at the same time leading into a large foyer and staircase. There were a couple of steps into the living room. Then there was a dining room area and sliding glass doors that led to a pool and Jacuzzi.

I was like a kid at Christmas. To me, it was a mansion. I’d never seen anything that was so elegant. But in my awe and immaturity, I never asked how the hell we could ever afford anything like this. I didn’t quite have a handle on how much I was making doing loops and posing for stills. Ken wasn’t really doing anything except “managing” me. Meanwhile, it was Bill Margold who was getting me the actual gigs, so I didn’t really understand where Ken came in at all. I didn’t know if he had savings from the stores back east or what, but I didn’t ask enough questions and I should have. In the meantime, I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Every Sunday morning, I had mimosas and shrimp in the Jacuzzi and read the newspaper. That was heaven to me. What I would come to discover was not only was I paying for most of this, Ken chose it because he knew companies were paying location fees for photo shoots and movies, and he had planned from day one to pocket that money on shoots at our house. I had no idea whatsoever. I was looking at it as my home, while he was thinking of it as a business. Since I didn’t have to travel to a set in the morning, I didn’t mind doing some of my shoots there. Still, I didn’t realize I was getting screwed in more ways than one.