Lauren Bacall - By Myself and Then Some

I told Charlie about it. ‘What will I do when he finds out? What will he do?’ Charlie laughed and said, ‘Howard just talks. Don’t worry about it, he and I are friends, have been for years.’ They didn’t move in the same social circle, however. I was panic-stricken.

The day before my test I was driven out to the Warner Bros. studio to see Howard and Perc Westmore, head of the make-up department. After all this waiting, something was going to happen at last. Driving to Warner Bros., new territory for me – Sunset Boulevard, the Strip, with its famous nightclubs, restaurants, Schwab’s drugstore, where Lana Turner was supposed to have been discovered, along Highland Avenue to Burbank down a curved road to WARNER BROS. printed in large black letters on buildings (which turned out to be sound stages) on enormous billboards, to the main gate. Here was the home of Bette Davis, Muni, Flynn, Sheridan, Cagney, Bogart, Greenstreet, Lorre – the list was long. There were many separate buildings looking like houses which turned out to be executive offices, dressing rooms, makeup department, music cutting rooms, wardrobe. The car stopped at a small house with the name HOWARD HAWKS hanging over the door like a doctor’s shingle. Opposite him was another bungalow with the name HAL B. WALLIS on it. I was led into Hawks’ outer office and announced by a secretary. The inner door opened and out Howard came with a smile. He put his arm around me and said, ‘You’re going to make your test with a young man named Charles Drake. You’ll meet him after lunch and we can go over the scene.’ Howard had decided that Claudia was right for me, so we were doing a scene from it. He walked me over to make-up so that Perc Westmore could have a look at me and said, ‘You know, Perc, the test is tomorrow morning, see what color Betty will need, and that’s all.’ Westmore took me into his room, sat me before his make-up mirror, and examined my face. He said, ‘Ummhumm’ and pushed my hair back. ‘We can pluck your eyebrows and shave your hairline, straighten your teeth.’ I was terrified and very upset. I said I’d like to call Howard, which I did practically in tears and repeated it all. I said, ‘You don’t want that, do you?’ He said absolutely not and spoke to Westmore, saying, ‘I want her exactly as she is, nothing changed, a light natural make-up for tomorrow.’ Perc understood, he only thought some of those touches would be an improvement. But no, Howard had chosen me for my thick eyebrows and crooked teeth and that’s the way they would stay.

I went back to Howard’s bungalow and he took me down the street to the green room for lunch. The green room was for the actors – round tables, walls adorned with large photographs of the stars. It was full. Next to the green room was a large commissary for crew, extras, etc. There was also a large dining room at the end of the lot where the brothers Warner and their producers ate. Wherever I went around the studio my head was on a swivel. This was where movies were made. There was so much to absorb. It looked almost like a private home in parts – trees, lawns. It was so much more complicated than I had thought, so much grander.

Howard told me that make-up people were used to doing someone over, that Perc was very good at his job but just had to be told. ‘He probably thought I wanted you to look like Dietrich. If they try anything tomorrow – to change your hair or anything – don’t let them. Tell them I want you to look just the way you do now.’ I was relieved. Of course Howard knew how frightened I had been. What would they have done if I hadn’t called him?

We went back to Howard’s office, where tall, blond, handsome Charles Drake was waiting. He was a young hopeful at Warners – Howard had used him in Air Force . We went into Howard’s office and read the script – I knew it, actually. Of course I was nervous. It was strange to play a scene with a complete stranger. I was trying to impress him, to impress Howard. Howard gave me a little direction along the way, we didn’t make any physical moves, but he talked about interpretation. Finally he said, ‘Okay, you’d better go home, study and get a good night’s sleep. You’ll have a long day tomorrow.’

I thanked him and thanked Charles Drake and was driven back to Charlie’s office, a complete and utter wreck. I was to stay the night at Jean and Charlie’s and be picked up the next morning at 7:30, so I went back to my hotel, got my toothbrush and pajamas (I always wore pajamas), and was taken back to the office, where I studied my scene until Charlie had to go home. It was hard to keep my mind off the importance of the following morning. Would I be good enough, would Howard like me? ‘Think of the scene, remember what Howard told you when you rehearsed it in his office.’ I could only do my best. But what if my best wasn’t good enough? Like all things in my life, it became crucial, a matter of life or death. I’ve never understood less than an extreme. I somehow got through dinner with Charlie and Jean, though I couldn’t eat. They both kept telling me, ‘You’re in the best possible hands with Howard. He wants it to be good, he will take enormous care. Don’t worry! It’s going to be all right.’ God, how I must have bored them.

Jean took me to the spare room where I was to spend my last hours. The next day the long, slow march would begin – the switch would be pulled. I kept repeating the scene over and over to the mirror, the wall; my stomach was jumping so, I felt so sick, I had to crawl to the bathroom to throw up. Did everyone go through this, or was it just me?

Back to bed, mind racing – it would not stop. Howard’s face flashing before me – what did he really think? And the Jewish business? If I was asked I’d have to tell the truth. Coward! It’s awful to be so frightened. I finally went to sleep. A knock on the door – 7:15 already. I jumped up, threw cold water on my face, quickly dressed, grabbed my script and was ready. I wanted to get to the studio, start to work. I loved to act – it was just that this was a whole new thing to me – I’d learn the methods – ‘Don’t panic – don’t panic.’ Jean had slipped a good-luck note from her and Charlie under my door. I walked out the front door into the sleeping world. It was so peaceful – morning dew, sunshine, birds – a beautiful day. Would it be a lucky one?

The studio car was waiting – I was on my way – over Mulholland Drive down to the San Fernando Valley to Warner Bros. I was taken back to that make-up department. My hair was washed and set and I was put under the dryer. Someone brought me a cup of coffee. There was a lot of activity in the make-up department between seven and nine. All actors working in the movies being shot were there. All the leading actors. A shooting day begins at 9:00 a.m. and ends at 6:00 p.m. I was introduced to Dennis Morgan, Gary Cooper, Ann Sheridan. It was exciting to see those stars getting ready for work – exciting just to see them.

At about nine o’clock I was taken out from under the dryer and sent to Perc Westmore’s room to be made up. He was doing Ann Sheridan, so I had to wait awhile – tests came second to actual filming. Finally Perc was ready. I sat in that chair again and he started on me. He was very friendly, but I don’t think overly pleased with not being allowed to redesign my face. He said, ‘Wouldn’t you like your eyebrows a little thinner and rounded? I think they’d look much better, no one on screen has eyebrows as thick and angular as yours.’ I said, ‘No – Howard wants it this way. Perhaps he’ll want to make some changes later.’ (But I didn’t believe that – the way I was was the way I was and nothing would really change that.) He did put false eyelashes on me, which I hated. I asked him to cut them – I wanted them shorter than my own so they’d never be seen – but he left them a little longer. He said they would help.