Джоэль Харрис - Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit

De hoss, he riz wid a snort an’ a whicker, An’ showed dat he wuz sump’n uv a kicker! An’ den an’ dar, Brer Rabbit ’gun ter snicker, Wid, “Hol’ ’im, Brer Fox! ’twon’t do ter flicker! Ef you make ’im stan’ still, you kin ride ’im de quicker!” De hoss, he r’ar’d an’ raise a mighty dust up, An’ fust thing you know, Brer Rabbit hear a bust-up! “I hope, Brer Fox, dat you ain’t much hurt— But yo’ wife’ll be mad, kaze you done tored yo’ shirt!”

Oh, one bright day in de middle er May, Brer Rabbit wuz feelin’ fine; He tuck ter de road, an’ never know’d De place whar he wuz gwine!

“Oh, fur an’ free,” sezee, “siree, No gal kin change my min’!” Brer Tarrypin, sly, he wunk one eye, Un’neat’ his green-gourd vine!

He holla an’ say, “Whar you gwine dis day, Wid yo’ pipe an’ walkin’-cane?” Brer Rabbit wave his han’ like a gal do her fan— “My heart’s ’bout ter bust wid pain;

“I’m a heap too nice, I ain’t laugh’d but twice Sence de big Jinawary rain; My day’ll be done ef I don’t have some fun— Dey’ll call me Sunday-Jane!

“I’ll git sollumcholic ef I don’t have a frolic, My head’ll git flabby an’ swink; I chaw de pine-bud, kaze I’m ’bout ter lose my cud An’ some nights I don’t sleep a wink!

“Ef I has ter set still, oh, I’ll w’ar de green willow, An’ go in mo’nin’ wid de Mink! But I bet you a hat dat ’fo’ I does dat, I’ll show um all a new kink!”

So, off he put, on his nimbles’ foot, Wid a grin, a laugh, an’ a cough; Ter Miss Motts an’ Miss Meadows, an’ all de udders, He tell what ’uz gwineter come off!

’Twuz a mill-pon’ fishin’, an’ he lef um a-wishin’ Dat de win’ don’t blow fum de norf! An’ de creeturs all, bofe long an’ tall— An’ dem no bigger dan a dwarf—

Brer Wolf an’ Brer B’ar,—all say dey’d be dar, An’ dey promise fer ter fetch a seine; Dey ’gree ter de day, an’ Brer Rabbit say Dat dey don’t hatter come ef it rain;

So said, so done, an’ when de time come, De big road ez well ez de lane Wuz filled wid a crowd, all talkin’ out loud, An’ a-prankin’ wid might an’ main!

Brer Rabbit wuz dar, wid Miss Molly Har’, A-waitin’ fer de fun ter begin; He shuck his shank, an’ went ter de bank, An’ make like he gwineter jump in!

But de sight dat he saw made ’im drap his jaw, An’ break up a great big grin! He sez ter Brer Coon, “Run here an’ see de Moon! A-floatin’ widout a fin!.”

He look ag’in—“She sho fell in, An’ we got ter git her out; Ef she stays in de pon’, it’s ’good-bye, John!’ An’ uv dat dey ain’t no doubt;

“We got ter have light when we play at night, Fer ter see how ter git about; We’ll drag wid de seine—ef we don’t drag in vain, We’ll have good reason ter shout!”

But when it come ter seinin’, dar wuz some complainin ’Bout who wuz ter do it all, Dey all make out dat dey wanter wade out, But it fell on dem dat wuz tall:

Brer B’ar, he laugh, ez he tuck a staff, Brer Wolf say he fear’d he’d fall, But he tuck his place wid a mighty wry face, An’ when dey ’gun ter haul.

“Oh, you better bet dis water’s wet! I feel des like a sponge!” An’ den dey all, wid a kick an’ a squall, Wid a squeal an’ den a lunge,

Grabbed at de water—which dey hadn’t oughter Went over der heads wid a splunge; Brer Rabbit bent double, “Oh, all er yo’ trouble Fills me full er fun-unj-unj!”

“Twuz des sech a day ez dis dat Mr Lion lost his wool,” remarked Uncle Remus to the little boy, “Mr. Man tuck a notion dat de time done come fer him fer ter have a hog-killin’ an’ he got ’im a big barrel, an’ fill it half full er water fum de big springs. Den he piled up ’bout a cord er wood, an’ ez he piled, he put rocks ’twix’ de logs, an’ den he sot de wood after at bofe een’s an’ in de middle. ’Twan’t long ’fo’ dey had de hogs killt, an’ eve’ything ready fer ter scrape de ha’r off. Den he tuck de red-hot rocks what he put in de fire, an’ flung um in de barrel whar de water wuz, an’ ’twan’t long, mon, ’fo’ dat water wuz ready fer ter bile. Den dey tuck de hogs, one at a time, an’ soused um in de water, an’ time dey tuck um out, he ha’r wuz ready fer ter drap out by de roots. Den dey’d scrape un wid sticks an’ chips, an’ dey aint leave a ha’r on um.

“Well, bimeby, dey had all de hogs killt an’ cleaned, an’ hauled off, an’ when eve’ything wuz still ez a settin’ hen, ol’ Brer Rabbit stuck his head out fum behine a bush whar he been settin’ at. He stuck his head out, he did, an’ look all ’roun’, an’ den he went whar de fier wuz an’ try fer ter warm hisse’f. He aint been dar long ’fo’ here come Brer Wolf an’ Brer Fox, an den he got busy.

“He say, ‘Hello, frien’s! howdy an’ welcome! I ’m des fixin’ fer ter take a warm baff like Mr. Man gi’ his hogs; wont you j’ine me?’ Dey say dey aint in no hurry, but dey holp Brer Rabbit put de hot rocks in de barrel an’ dey watch de water bubble, an’ bimeby, when eve’ything wuz ready, who should walk up but ol’ Mr. Lion?

“He had a mane fum his head plum ter de een’ er his tail, an’ in some places it wuz so long it drug on de groun’—dat what make all de creeturs ’fear’d un ’im. He growl an’ ax um what dey doin’, an’ when Brer Rabbit tell ’im, he say dat’s what he long been needin’. ‘How does you git in?’ ‘Des back right in,’ sez ol’ Brer Rabbit, sezee, an’ wid dat,

“Mr. Lion backed in, an’ de water wuz so hot, he try fer ter git out, an’ he slipped in plum ter his shoulder-blades. You kin b’lieve me er not, but dat creetur wuz scall’d so dat he holler’d an’ skeer’d eve’ybody fur miles aroun’.