Mankell Henning - When the Snow Fell

“Go home, Joel. Stop following me.”

Joel was in front of Samuel now. Walking backwards.

“You said you weren’t going to go out drinking anymore. You said that, didn’t you?”

Samuel didn’t answer. He tried to walk past, but Joel stood in his way. He was angry now. So angry that tears were welling up in his eyes.

“Come home with me now,” he said.

“I’ll go home soon,” said Samuel. “I need a bit of a change. I get so miserable sitting at home on my own.”

“Getting drunk won’t make things any better.”

“I’ll have a glass or two whenever it suits me.”

Joel felt as if he were talking to a tree. Samuel simply wasn’t listening.

He stopped dead. Samuel almost barged into him.

“Come home with me now,” said Joel. He was pleading.

“I’ll be home soon,” said Samuel. “Don’t you bother about me.”

The words echoed like thunder inside Joel’s head. Don’t you bother about me . Didn’t Samuel understand anything at all?

Joel flung himself at his father and started punching him in the chest. The road was slippery. Samuel fell, and dragged Joel down with him. They landed in a snowdrift. Joel could see the Greyhound underneath him. He remembered how he had gotten her back by poking snow inside her clothes.

Why not do the same with Samuel? He started rubbing snow into his father’s face. Samuel grunted and growled in surprise. Then he started resisting. But Joel didn’t give up. He thrust more and more snow into his father’s face and tried to poke some down inside his shirt. He kept going until Samuel grabbed him by his coat collar and flung him to one side.

“What do you think you’re doing?” said Samuel, starting to brush the snow off his clothes.

Joel attacked him again. He didn’t bother about snow anymore, just hit and punched, and Samuel had to defend himself as best he could.

Then it all stopped. Joel was lying flat on his back in the middle of the road.

Samuel had stood up.

“You can’t lie here,” he said.

“Oh no?” said Joel. “I can lie here and freeze to death.”

Samuel bent down, took hold of Joel’s arm and pulled him to his feet. Samuel was strong when he wanted to be.

“I’ve had enough of all this stupidity,” he said. “Go home. And leave me in peace. I’m a grown-up and I’ll do as I like.”

“If anybody here is grown up, it’s me,” said Joel. “I don’t know what you are.”

“How dare you stand here insulting your own father!”

“I’m not insulting anybody. I’m just telling the truth.”

Samuel was on edge now. No doubt he was longing for a drink as well. But when he was on edge he could become hot-headed. Joel took a step backwards.

“Go home this minute,” said Samuel.

“I’ll burn the house down,” said Joel.

Samuel was angry. On edge and hot-headed. He tried to grab hold of Joel, who was expecting it and managed to jump out of the way.

“I don’t want to hear another word from you,” said Samuel. “If you don’t go home this very minute, I’ll... I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“You can always beat me to death,” said Joel. “But who would cook for you then?”

Samuel made another attempt to grab hold of him. They were dancing round each other in the middle of the road.

“Say that again...,” said Samuel, threateningly.

Joel shouted it out so loud that it echoed.

“You can always beat me to death. But who would cook for you then?”

“People will hear you,” said Samuel. “Stop shouting.”

Now he was the one doing the pleading.

“There’s nobody around to hear,” said Joel.

Then all the wind went out of his sails. He didn’t have the strength anymore. He felt like a balloon that had burst.

“Go home this very minute,” said Samuel again. “Leave me in peace. I’ll be back soon. This is the last time. I promise.”

Samuel turned round. Joel saw his hunched back. Watched him walk away, getting smaller and smaller. Until he was swallowed up completely by the darkness.

Joel walked home. His head was completely empty. He had no strength left at all. If this was what life was like, he could do without it. No matter what he did, Samuel spoiled everything for him.

He returned to the house by the river. He’d made up his mind by then. He went up to his room and fetched the mattress and the quilt. Then he dragged the old bed out of the woodshed and placed it in front of the steps up to the front door. When Samuel eventually came home he wouldn’t be able to avoid seeing him. No matter how drunk he was.

Joel lay down and pulled the quilt over him. It was cold. But he didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care about anything at all.

He slowly dozed off. And fell asleep.

Occasional flakes of snow started to drift down onto the bed. Then more. It had begun snowing again. Silently in the night.

Joel had a dream. It was morning and he opened the roller blind. He could even hear the thwacking noise in his dream. The previous night it had been white everywhere when he went to bed. Now everything was different. He stared out the window in surprise. The sea stretched out in front of him. It was blue and green and glinting in the sunlight. Dolphins were jumping in the far distance. The beach was beneath his window. A fishing boat was heading for land. Brown men were paddling through the breakers. The boat was riding on the crest of the waves. In the stern, by the tiller, was somebody he recognized. It was Simon. Pitcairn Island, he thought. So we did get there in the end. Now I’m on Pitcairn Island. And Simon got better and came along with Samuel and me. He opened the window. Then he heard somebody calling his name .

When he opened his eyes he couldn’t make out the face in front of him at first. Then he realized it was Samuel. But he didn’t care who it was. He wanted to carry on sleeping. To slip back into his dream again. Something seemed to lift him up. He thought it could be a wave. He floated around in the warm water. Perhaps he was riding on one of those dolphins he’d seen not long ago.

He slept deeply. Had no desire to wake up. But there was somebody shaking him. He tried to defend himself. But the shaking continued. In the end he was forced to open his eyes.

Now he could see clearly. It was Samuel’s face leaning down over him.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing?” said Samuel. “You could have frozen to death down there outside the front door. What would have happened if I hadn’t come home when I did?”

Joel started to remember. He noticed that he was lying in Samuel’s bed. Down at the foot end he could see the little mat. And he had a hot-water bottle on his stomach. Even so, he felt freezing cold.

He tried to recall what had happened. He’d got into bed, and must have fallen asleep.

He looked at Samuel’s face. His eyes were not red. And he didn’t smell of strong drink.

“You could have frozen to death,” Samuel said again.

“That might have been just as well,” said Joel. “Then you wouldn’t have had all this trouble.”

“You mustn’t talk like that,” said Samuel.

There was a lively glint in his eye now, Joel could see that.

Joel sat up. He was aching all over.

“Why did you come back?” he asked.

Samuel shook his head.

“I went to where I’d intended going,” he said. “But I suddenly had the feeling that I couldn’t stay. I didn’t know what the matter was. I went home. And there you were in the bed, covered in snow. You could have frozen to death. Can’t you understand that? What would have happened if I hadn’t come back so soon?”

“Well, what would have happened?” asked Joel.

Samuel didn’t answer. He just shook his head.