Philip Kerr - False Nine

‘I’m watching it on the TV news now. But then we are ahead of you here. We get everything before you get it.’

‘So I believe. Sir, about those two football players who were supposed to come to China to join your club.’

‘Chad Yekini and George Mboma. Yes, it’s a pity they decided not to come. We could certainly have used them. There’s a big match with Shanghai Taishan coming up in three weeks. Not that they would have been here by then, of course. They were going to come only at the end of the European season. But all the same, it’s nice to dream, isn’t it?’

‘Might I ask what kind of money you were prepared to pay them?’

‘Each of them had a three year deal worth two hundred thousand pounds a week.’

‘Christ.’

‘Plus whatever they could make from their image rights. Under my guidance, of course. Which would also be quite a lot. CSL players are very much in demand to sell almost everything in China. Especially when they’ve been playing at top clubs.’

‘I didn’t know players in China got paid so much.’

‘The Chinese Super League is going to be the wealthiest in the world, Mr Manson. You can take my word for it.’

‘What would you say if I told you I could replace them both? And in time for your match with Beijing? If I said that one of them is a very long way off the end of his career, while at thirty-seven years old Chad Yekini is very close to the end of his. I take it you’ve heard of Jérôme Dumas. He’s just twenty-two.’

‘Dumas. Of course. He’s a top player. He plays for Paris Saint-Germain, does he not? But I read in the sports pages that he was now on loan to Barcelona.’

‘Not any more. The loan isn’t going to go through. I happen to know that PSG are about to sack him. Among other things, for his Maoist revolutionary views.’

Mr Jia laughed. ‘That’s hardly a problem here in China. In spite of what happened during the Cultural Revolution a great many people in this country still revere Chairman Mao. So he might play for us, is that what you’re suggesting?’

‘Provided you could agree to waive his medical I can guarantee that I can bring him to Shanghai, sir. And to have his signature on a contract by the end of the week.’

‘You interest me a lot, Mr Manson. And the other player?’

‘His identical twin brother. Not famous like Jérôme. But he’s an excellent footballer. Which is why I’m offering them both to you as a two for one.’

‘Hmm.’

‘I’m right in thinking that twins are considered to be a sign of good luck and good fortune in China, aren’t I?’

‘You are. They are especially prized in sport. A lot of Chinese people even touch them for luck.’

‘Then their image rights ought to be worth quite a lot to you.’

‘That’s true. In fact, I know just the brand I could interest in using them. Identical twins, you say?’

‘Like two peas in a pod, sir.’

‘There’s a brand of cigarette called Gemini. Made by Shanghai Tobacco. Which I own. We could use them to sell Gemini Cigarettes. Or Twopenny. That’s an internet company I also own. Much cheaper than Tencent, our main business rival.’

‘You could use them for anything you like. I happen to think Jérôme’s Maoism is only skin-deep.’

‘Obviously I have to ask. What’s wrong with Jérôme Dumas if you want me to waive his medical? I assume that this is the real reason that PSG want to be rid of him. And why he isn’t going to Barcelona.’

‘It’s not that Jérôme’s not good enough for Barcelona. He is. I think you’ll find that he’s actually playing at the very top of his game. I advise you to take a look at the first round cup tie PSG played with Barcelona in September last year. Jérôme Dumas was the man of the match. But since then it’s been discovered that he has a VSD. A hole in his heart. And now he’s finding it difficult to get cleared to play by the club’s insurers.’

‘I know what that’s like.’

‘By the way, the other twin, Philippe — he’s fine. There’s nothing at all wrong with him.’

‘VSD is much more common than people realise. It’s ridiculous that people think you’re going to die because of a tiny defect like a hole in the heart. There are almost three million people in China who have this condition. And who are living perfectly normal lives.’

‘I’m glad you think so.’

‘But is it because I told you that I have a hole in my own heart that you think you can bring me a player who isn’t good enough for Barcelona? Perhaps you calculated that this would make me weak?’

‘Not weak, sir. Understanding. Sympathetic, perhaps. And I owe you, remember? After my stupid mistake last month which you were generous enough to overlook, temporarily? We agreed that we should find some service I could perform for you in order to make amends for my error. I would humbly suggest that this is it. In spite of his condition, which as you say is a minor one, Jérôme Dumas is still a top player. It’s also my impression that in any team he and his twin would make two thirds of a very formidable attack. Enough to win the Chinese Super League, perhaps. But if you disagree then it may be that I have to fly to China and look for another team owner who can give these young men a chance. Who could overlook such an inconvenient thing as a minor heart defect.’

‘Hmm. And this has only just come to light?’

‘I’m afraid so.’

‘What’s wrong with doctors in France and Spain?’

‘I don’t think it’s the doctors who are at fault, sir. It’s the insurance companies they advise.’

The Chinese billionaire paused and looked thoughtful. That’s the other good thing about Skype. You know when it’s time to shut up and let silence be your friend.

Then I said, ‘When we met, you said you thought it was probably Shanghai Taishan FC who stitched me up, didn’t you?’

‘Yes. It was. I have had very good information to this effect.’

‘It would be good to get some payback, wouldn’t it? To stick it to those bastards. I’d like to get a piece of that myself.’

‘It would be brilliant,’ said Mr Jia. ‘You really think this could work, Mr Manson?’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘I’m not asking for your optimism, Mr Manson. I want your honest, hard-headed opinion as a professional football manager. No sentiment, now. What does your own experience tell you?’

‘It’s not without some risk, sir. I should think the chances of something serious happening to the boy are perhaps five hundred to one. But a one in five hundred chance is probably just too high for a European medical insurer to take the chance. The payouts are too big when things go pear-shaped.’

‘Take my word for it, Mr Manson. Five hundred to one? Those are very tempting odds for a Chinaman. That’s a good bet. Anything else is a sure thing, and they don’t exist. A player can score a hat-trick in one game and in the next break his leg in a way that finishes his career forever. How do you insure against something like that? You can’t. Not yet. In a few years’ time we may be able to measure bone density and estimate the probability of a player fracturing a limb in a tackle, and then where will we be? All sport contains risk. That’s why we enjoy watching it.’

I let him think some more.

‘Frankly, sir, I think the Dumas twins could become an important figurehead for any Chinese team. Especially Nine Dragons. Perhaps the best thing to do would be for you to meet with them and me, and then, if you are in agreement, we could make a contract for one year. We can see how things work out.’

‘You mean suck it and see.’

‘Something like that. And of course Shanghai Taishan wouldn’t be expecting something like this. Not at this stage of the European season. All of the best players have contracts in Europe until the end of our season. So, just imagine if the Dumas brothers came and you beat Shanghai Taishan. Can you imagine it?’