Lynda Plante - Sleeping Cruelty

‘I’m so glad you’re here, Willy,’ Justin murmured.

‘Me too.’ William hesitated before he spoke again. ‘I’ve missed you, Justin. I’ve also been so afraid, but it’s all going to be all right now. I’m here for you both. It’s all going to be all right, I’m sure.’

‘Is it, Willy?’ Justin said. ‘Promise? I bet you daren’t! There’s so much you don’t know about me and Laura. We’re not good people, Willy. I’m not a good person.’

‘Justin, trust me, I know everything about you and Laura now, and it doesn’t make any difference to me. Marta told me. She loves you and... and no one will ever hurt either of you again. I’ll see to that.’

He went to the door, overwhelmed by his emotions, but he knew it was not quite over yet: he had to know more. ‘I’ll arrange for Dahlia to sit with her and we’ll get Marta over here.’ He faced Justin. ‘I have to eat. Would you join me?’

Justin followed him. ‘I’m so glad to be with you, Willy. I don’t think this time I could have coped. I’ve been on my own for so long, and I’m tired. Laura needs to be taken care of, she always has. These fits get worse. I’ve been told that each time it happens, her brain is damaged a little and it terrifies me.’

William put his arm around Justin’s shoulders. To his delight, Justin caught his hand and threaded his fingers through it.

‘You’re not on your own, Justin, not any more. You’ve got me, and I’ll get Laura the best medical attention money can buy. She’s my responsibility now.’

‘Why?’ Justin asked.

‘I love you both, that’s why.’

Justin appeared to accept his answer and they strolled on into the house.

William fingered the stem of his glass. He had to choose his words carefully. They had both bathed and changed, and now sat across the table from each other. Yet again, he had a feeling of peace and calm, as if his life at long last had come into focus.

‘I have never been what I would call a happy man,’ he began. ‘There has been little joy in my life. But suddenly I realized... you have given me that. It hasn’t been plain sailing, but I look forward to seeing you more than anyone. And when I began to think you were...’ he sipped the champagne ‘...planning murder, it was not that you were about to commit a crime that concerned me, it was the thought that I might not see you again. I realized you had become a very important part of my life. But I need to be told the truth, all of it, so that, if need be, I can protect you both. You must tell me everything. I want the facts, no matter what they are.’

‘Maybe you won’t like me if you know it all, Willy. You might have taken on more than you bargained for.’

‘Try me. I’m offering you this island as your home, a place to stay for ever. What is your alternative? Where else will you go?’

Justin shrugged. ‘Oh, back to the villa, get some more design commissions. This place will do me a lot of good as far as that goes.’

‘And Laura will go with you?’

‘Yep, that’s the game plan. I’ll earn enough to look after her, and she loves the villa.’

‘Isn’t that where you both suffered so much? Isn’t that the very place she shouldn’t return to — or you for that matter? It’s there, no matter how you disguise it with waterfalls and flowers, that it all happened to you both.’

‘I guess it is, but I’ve never let us think about it. What it looked like then, and what it now is... It’s different. It’s home.’

‘This could also be your home, and you could work from here. You love it here, don’t you?’

‘Yes, you know I do, but...’

‘I would like to make it my home, live here with you both.’ William sat back, twisting the stem of his glass. When he looked up, Justin was staring at him and his body was rigid. Twice he started to say something and then stopped.

William tried to ease the tension. He poured more champagne. ‘I read Andrew Maynard’s diaries, and I was envious of his joy at finding love. He wrote of being so happy that it had changed his life. In many ways, you have changed mine, Justin.’

Justin’s eyes flicked to the dark ocean. ‘Ask me if I killed him, Willy. That’s what you really want to know. All this bullshit about being envious, just cut it out.’

‘Andrew committed suicide,’ William stated.

‘Did he?’

William gripped the stem of his glass.

‘I wrote the note, Willy, let it sink into the bath-water so the writing would be hard to read. I’ve always been expert at copying signatures. I also wrote the yellow sticker to make sure you would be called...’

‘I don’t believe you. How could you know that the housekeeper would call me and that I would remove Andrew’s diaries?’

Justin leaned back in his chair. ‘Because you were in love with him. Maybe you weren’t even aware of it. Andrew sussed that you were. Even if it wasn’t love, you must have desired him in some way. You certainly saw him often enough.’

William stared at the tablecloth. ‘I admired him, I trusted him, I believed that he would have a great future—’

Justin leaned across the table and grabbed his hand. ‘You want me to be truthful — why don’t you start playing the game straight as well? You didn’t lay out all that cash just to be his paymaster. What did you want out of it? ’

William flushed as he said angrily that he had wanted Maynard’s success, nothing more. ‘I admired him, yes. Truth was, I bathed in his glory, and I got my knighthood through him, but...’

‘But?’ Justin asked softly, and William couldn’t meet his eyes. He told Justin about a little kid who had sat next to him at school, a stammering boy with long eyelashes who had kissed him and had been killed on a level crossing.

‘Andrew reminded me of Peter Jenkins, that was his name. Maybe there is something latent in me. I doubt if I could face up to it, but I often wondered why I was so distressed about him. But with Maynard I only wanted him to succeed. I wanted him to be my son. I had little or no relationship with Charlie then.’

‘Did you doubt your feelings or did you just not dare show Andrew what you really felt about him?’

William stared hard at him. ‘I don’t want to answer that, and we’re supposed to be talking about you, not me.’

‘But it all has to be ironed out, don’t you think? Lean forward, Willy.’

William did so, and Justin kissed his lips.

‘Are you afraid to love me?’ Justin asked, and rocked back in his chair. ‘You keep on saying how much you love me and Laura, but let’s take just me. Are you afraid to lie naked next to me, Willy, afraid to let me make love to you?’

‘Yes, I am, and that’s not why we’re here. I have offered—’

‘To take care of me and Laura. But you want me to tell you all my secrets yet refuse to tell me yours, or admit them. I’m not your son. I’m not Charlie. I’m Justin. To what depth does your love want to go?’

‘I won’t answer that. I’m just confused, and I need to know — did you kill Andrew?’

Justin kicked his chair back and walked to the window. ‘Yes. He had to die because he was becoming dangerous. He found out about my background. He was always delving into drawers and trying to find out more and more about me and Laura. Then he found out about his fucking sister and—’

‘She died in a car accident,’ William said, hardly audible.

‘I know. I fixed her brakes. I even followed her along the motorway and saw her car veer across the lanes. Camilla Maynard gave exclusive interviews to Humphrey Matlock. She was part of it. By the way, I held Matlock under the water until he drowned. What do you say about that? I mean, surely you don’t need to ask me why? You said you knew why. You said you knew everything. Well, now you do, and what do you think of me?’