Jonathan Santlofer - Anatomy of Fear

“You think it was made by the same guy?”

“Who else could it be?”

“Well, the drawings, the MO, have made it into the media. So it could be a copycat. I just want to be sure.”

Nate squinted at it with tired eyes. “There is something different, it’s a little softer, and I don’t see the pronounced crosshatching, but…maybe he’s just using another kind of pencil-” Another chill shook his body. “Can I take it out of the plastic?”

Terri cadged a glance over her shoulder. Collins was huddled with her men.

She handed Nate a pair of gloves. “Make it fast. And put these on.”

Nate tugged on the gloves and removed the drawing. “Yes, it’s a softer pencil than he ordinarily uses. He’s blending and modeling more too.”

“And what’s this?”

“I can’t tell,” said Nate, but the chill intensified. “Maybe it’s another one of those white supremacist symbols.”

“I need to get it magnified, but there’s no way Collins is going to let me hold on to this.” She glanced over at the fax machine, then back at Collins, who was half turned away, her cell phone at her ear.

Terri didn’t waste any time. She slid the papers and bills off the fax machine and fed the sketch into it. Thirty seconds later she was folding a halfway decent copy into her pocket. She handed the original back to Collins.

“Thanks,” she said. “I appreciate it.”

“It tell you anything new?”

Terri shook her head. “Not really.”

Collins turned to Nate. “You’ve got to come with me to give a statement.”

“I thought I already did that,” said Nate.

“Yes,” said Collins. “But it has to be official.”

He could stop now and no one would ever know.

But is that what he wants? To never be known? With his most important project still ahead of him?

He spreads a few sketches he has made for inspiration across his work table.

Yes, this is it, but he wants to see it all again, to consider the where and when.

He stops a moment to think about the drawing he’s taken, what he has done, and how to take it a step further.

Yes, he is seeing it, the place and the idea fixing in his mind.

Now he has to get the timing right. This one has to be big. This one has to be perfect.

This was the second time in a week I was walking down the corridors of FBI Manhattan, this time less comfortably between Agents Collins and Richardson. My adrenaline had kicked in for the third or fourth time of the day. I felt edgy and itchy, the way I did when I was fourteen and had pulled an all-nighter high on drugs. Richardson kept up a steady stream of chat-baseball, politics, the weather-but Collins was quiet.

They ushered me into a windowless room with two chairs and a desk, and asked me to wait. They said they’d be back in a minute. Ten minutes passed. Then another ten. I paced, measuring the room with my steps, twelve one way, nine the other. I kept seeing Cordero lying on the floor, blood pooled under him. I checked my watch every other minute, and chewed my cuticles. Another twenty minutes passed before Collins came back.

She took a seat, carefully tucking her skirt under her, ladylike, but there was nothing ladylike in her face, which was frozen, intentionally immobilized. She flipped open a notepad and angled her head toward a video camera wedged into a corner where the wall met the ceiling. “We’re recording this,” she said. “It’s procedure.”

“Guess the FBI videotapes everything, huh?” I forced a laugh.

She didn’t, just looked up at the camera, stated the date and time, her name and mine, then asked what time I’d come home from Boston, which I’d already told them more than once, and asked about my relationship to Manuel Cordero.

“We didn’t have a relationship. He was the superintendent of my building.”

“Did you get along?”

“What the hell sort of question is that?”

“Take it easy,” she said.

I couldn’t. There was something in her tone and even more in her frozen face that was setting me on edge.

Collins cadged a look at the video camera, then at a mirrored wall. I knew there was someone on the other side, watching.

She referred to her notepad. “So you found Manuel Cordero’s body around eleven-thirty.”

“Yes, I said that earlier, to Richardson.”

“But now you’re saying it to me.” Her eyes narrowed, lids compressing the way they do with the onset of anger.

“I’m really tired,” I said, losing patience, adrenaline seeping out of my veins like I was donating blood.

“We’re all tired. But you’ve got to say it for the camera.”

“Yeah, it was sometime around eleven-thirty.”

“And you know that because…?”

“Because I looked at my watch.”

“Before or after you found the body?”

“Before. When I was upstairs. I had been debating whether or not it was too late to go downstairs.”

“And you decided it wasn’t?”

“Obviously.”

Collins glared at me. “I don’t think that response was called for.”

Maybe it wasn’t, but I didn’t feel like apologizing.

“So it was eleven-thirty,” she said, flipping pages in the coroner’s report.

“Give or take a few minutes.”

She made a note in her pad. “And Cordero was lying facedown when you found him?”

“Yes. I’ve already said that. About ten times tonight.”

“Did you touch him? Roll him over or anything?”

“Why would I do that?”

“I’m just asking.”

“No. I didn’t touch him. I could see he was dead.”

“And you could see that how ?”

“He was lying facedown in a pool of blood-a lot of blood-and he wasn’t moving. That spelled dead to me.”

“Really?” Collins noted something in her pad, then looked up at me, face neutralized though there was some leakage in the way the triangularis muscle had tightened around her mouth. “Because some people might have thought the man was just hurt, injured, you know, but somehow you knew he was dead.”

“Yes, I-”

“And his door was open?”

“Yes-”

“So you could see in?”

“Yes. Well, no-”

“Which is it?”

“It was only open a couple of inches, so no, I couldn’t really see in. I explained that to Richardson, and-”

“Could you please stop referring to Agent Richardson’s report?”

“No, I don’t think I can.” My heart was pounding and the muscles in the back of my neck had tightened. “I’m getting tired of saying the same thing over and ov-”

“I explained that.” Collins nodded at the camera. “I don’t know why you’re making this so difficult.” Her icy tone matched her frozen mask. “It really doesn’t look good.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I could feel things unhinging, as if screws were being loosened to allow easy entry to my brain and psyche.

“So you went in.”

“What?”

“To the apartment. You went in.”

“Yes. You know that. I knocked, but he didn’t answer. I waited a minute and knocked again. I could hear the television and I could see the kind of bluish light that comes off a TV screen. It was reflecting into the hallway. You know how that is.”