Mare Moody - [blank]

"I love you, Joseph." I say softly to the newborn. I feel so at peace.

"Joseph?" Noah asks.

"After my mother, Josephine."

I look at Noah, their matching blue eyes sing songs in my conscious.

"His eyes are blue now but I'm sure they will grow into their color soon," the nurse says with a faint smile.

"Wait, his eyes aren't actually blue?" I ask, the worry rising.

"They could be but seeing as yours are brown and his are blue, you won't know for a few weeks." she says.

I look back at Noah. My eyes full apologies.

"He's my son even if he is Kane's genetically." Noah says. He sounds confident but I'm not sure if he really is. I know he wants Joseph to be his.

We gaze down at our son. This is the closest thing to a happy family that I am ever going to get.

I yawn loudly. The last couple of nights have been so sleepless that it would be a stretch to even call them 'a night.' I turn over and hold Noah firmly. His warm skin presses to mine and I feel relieved. I love being in love.

"The baby was really quiet last night," Noah mumbles.

"Mhm," I agree.

He begins to roll out of bed.

"I have to get to work. I'm on call at the station today." He sighs. He pulls himself to his feet and yawns widely. He stretches his arms out and I see a flash of the biceps that I have fallen so in love with.

He walks over to the crib and peers down with a smile. I turn away and bury my face in my pillow.

"Joseph?!" Noah's yell reverberates in the small bedroom.

"What?" My head snaps in his direction.

He turns back to me, Joseph's navy blue blanket in his bawled up fists.

"Kane." I lose all breath in my lungs. He took my baby. Noah managed to survive his wrath but my baby with his gorgeous blue eyes doesn't stand a chance. How did he know? Where did he go? My brain gets overwhelmed and I can feel the spiral begin. I can't control it.

Go back.

You can be a family.

I push out everything. I breathe or focus. I break down into tears. How much more is Kane going to hurt me until I am dead. I can't handle his torture anymore.

"I'm going to fucking kill him and there is nothing you can say that is going to change my mind." Noah spits. His grip around the blanket tightens and his fists turn yellow.

"At least call the police. They can arrest him. He needs to go to jail." I beg.

"No. He deserves to die." Noah throws the blanket back into the crib and moves to his closet. He throws clothes out until he has a tangible outfit. He gets dressed hurriedly.

"Noah, you can't just murder a man." I say, getting out of bed.

"Watch me." He pulls on his shoes and begins to walk out of the room.

"Noah." I yell.

He stops and turns around.

"At least let me go with you." I say with extreme stress.

"No. I can't lose you too." He barks. He marches out of the door, anger propelling his every step.

"Noah!" I yell again. He keeps walking. I walk in my long t-shirt out of my bedroom. I had a baby not even a week ago. My maternal instinct has gone off of the chain.

"He is my son!" I call out to him from the hallway.

He turns around and looks at me in the eye.

"If I can't stop you, then fine." He turns back and continues walking.

I sprint to the bedroom and pull on a pair of jeans. I still only have maternity jeans so the elastic band barely fits around my waist. I throw on my converse through swollen feet and try to run to catch up to him.

"Slow down!" I holler after him as he walks out of the front door.

He stalls for a second, holding the door for me. He has a grimace imprinted on his face. I have seen him angry but not this angry. He walks to the sidewalk and calls a cab.

We stand for a moment before a cab shows up. The sun has begun to heat the sidewalk. The summer weather has slowly creeped up on me yet again.

Noah opens the taxi door with way too much strength. For a moment, I worry about having to pay for the door in case he breaks it off. He gets in and I follow on his heels. I wait for him to tell the cabbie where to go but I soon realize that he has no idea where to go. This is up to me. I know Kane best.

Noah looks at me with unsure eyes. Where would Kane go to get my baby away or even kill him? I shudder. I can't push this thought away. I need to let it simmer so that I can get some sort of idea. The only place that I would check first is my neighborhood. I breathe deeply.

"Roxbury." I say to the driver.

He nods his head and we are on our way. I don't want to think about returning. No matter what I do, I always wind up going back simply because of the scars that Kane has put on me.

The car starts moving and Noah becomes more and more uneased. His fist remained bawled to his side. I am so scared for the moment he sees Kane. I want Kane to suffer but at the same time, I don't want him to get murdered. Nobody deserves that. He may have put me through hell but a part of me… remembers him. The stress of all of this gets to me.

You need him.

You can't kill him.

I begin to hyperventilate. My ears ring and my heart pounds. My head is twisted with my heart. I wonder what would have happened if I had just killed myself. If Noah never came to my rescue or if I just been one second quicker. Would Joseph even be alive. Would this battle be even happening. I can't say I wish I had because I don't know if my beautiful baby boy would be here if I did. I love him more than I love my right arm. This whole thing makes me overwhelmed and mourning rather than the anger that Noah expresses.

The taxi comes to stop and I peer out of the window. The look of the street creates a sheet of ice over my heart. I hate this place. I now remember why I wanted to leave Boston so badly. Noah opens the door and steps out. He looks around.

He grits his teeth. He is going to pummel him to death, I can see the temper in his face.

I get out of the car and place my feet on the concrete. It feels almost unnatural for me to walk on it with shoes. I remember all of the cold nights when I walked to his house barefoot, just seeking his warmth. There are too many to count. They have a bittersweet feel to them. I loved them when they began but towards the end, it felt as if I was just walking to be the next victim in one of his fits. I close my eyes and take a sharp breath in.

Noah walks to his house, anger propelling every step. I follow him. Fear crawls its way back up my spine. It nags at me. My limbs are warm from the cortisol coursing through them.

He walks up to the door and opens the door. It's unlocked. That is a bad sign. Noah enters to front room.

"Get the fuck out here, you coward!" He screams.

Stillness.

Through his gritted teeth, he growls. The veins in his neck are start to protrude and his grows redder by the minute. He sprints up the stairs. I attempt to follow him but I have become voiceless in this matter. I know that no matter what I do, someone is going to die today and that is the scariest feeling I think I have ever felt.

I run up the stairs. Noah stands in Kane's room in a fight stance.

"Where the fuck is he." He yells. "I want my son."

He turns around immediately and walks back down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" I holler to him.

"Call Tabitha. She might know where he is." He says back, as he slams open the front door and marches out. I walk down the stairs quickly and meet him outside. He calls yet another taxi. Now that we are in the city so they circle like predators, waiting, watching.

We dive in and Noah blurts out Tabitha's address.

He pulls out his phone and hands it to me. I take and dial her number. It rings for a second before her voicemail answers. I look at Noah and shake my head. He takes back his phone and shoves it into his pocket. The tension rises by the minute until the car finally stops.