Mare Moody - [blank]

Closing my eyes is the worst idea I have come up with. The first few seconds are ok, but when I try to move, all of my balance is gone and I can feel myself being to topple. Everything runs in slow motion. My body swiftly falls to the ground like a sack of sand. I expect the cold black tile to greet me but as my body hits the ground, I feel warmth. I feel skin. Someone is holding me, slowly pushing me up into a standing position again.

“Hello?” I slur.

“Hi.” The voice behind me chuckles.

I turn and look. A man stands before me. He eyes beaming such a bright blue that I can even see them in the dark. He has light skin and a wide smile printed on his face.

“Are you ok?” He asked. He has worry in his voice but I can also tell that he finds my drunkenness funny.

“I am now,” I say, looking at him up and down.

I can’t help but allow the alcohol to look all over his body. He is built butt not so built that I am intimidated. He has shaggy blonde hair and rough stubble down his chin. He laughs at my drunken remark.

“Did you come here with anyone?” He asks me.

I think of Tabitha but if he is asking for the reasons I think he is, than my answer should immediately be ‘no.’

“Nope,” I lie.

“Ok,” he says as he smirks.

He grabs my arms and pulls me closer to him. He starts dancing along to the music. I grin and allow myself to be moved with him. The beat fills the club and passes through like a quick breath.

I look at his face again. He doesn’t seem drunk but a lot people I know get shitfaced and can cover it really well.

My hand falls on the back of his neck and slides down seductively. His arm is around my back and I can feel his grip through my loose tank top. Part of me wishes he would lift the small edge up and put his hand on my skin.

As we dance, our bodies progressively get closer and closer. A pseudo form of lust grows between us. He rests his head on my forehead and dances closer.

My heart begins to race. Excitement builds in my bones and I am overwhelmed. I feel like a college girl. Perhaps my life is finally back to where it should have gone.

“My name is Noah,” he says over the music.

“Ana.”

He smiles at me and as the dancing continues, time seems to fly. With the alcohol numbing my senses, all concepts other than lust completely vanish. We simply move back in forth in perfect synchronization with the songs blaring from the speakers in front of us. After a while, he brushes his head against my forehead and slowly moves it. He brings his lips close to my ear and seductively whispers.

“Do want to get out here?”

Noah’s top floor apartment is not nearly as nice as Tabitha’s house but it's nice nonetheless. Before I can even examine the area, he walks towards me and presses his lips against mine.

Suddenly, I feel myself come to. I have not kissed anyone but Kane. Then my brain flashes to him. I had not thought of him at all tonight.

As Noah continues to kiss me passionately, my brain is only focused on Kane. I shut my eyes tightly and think about where I am. I am at a new man’s house. This man is so much better than Kane. He is more attractive, and a significantly better kisser.

STOP.

The voices are louder than the music was at the club. As Noah kisses me, the voices get quieter. Once I realize this, I kiss harder.

Then my heart leaps. I enjoy this. The feelings I have for Kane wash away in the low tide that Noah is creating in my soul. Noah pushes me further and I feel his hands grip the bottom of my shirt. He begins to pull it off. For the first time, I assist. I want this.

As my shirt is pulled off, I reach for his. He pulls it off immediately and picks me up. His strong arms are so secure. His lips move to my collar bones as he walks through his living room and into a dark room. My eyes close once again and I put all of my trust into Noah’s arms.

He puts me down on a soft surface. I am laid on my back. I can only assume that the surface is his bed. His lips press more and more intently.

My stomach begins to pop. A warmth spreads over my body. Desire fills me. It grows like a flame and refuses to be put out. Passion flickers in the cold breeze coming from his window. Though the alcohol has worn off, life still moves in slow motion.

He pulls himself on top of me. His warm chest touches my stomach. His body breathes in a new beat. A beat I have never heard before. The beauty of this new discovery overwhelms me.

A hot ripple flows through my conscience. I should be feeling guilty but I feel so much else. I feel new. I feel free. This feeling is one that I have never felt before.

I grab his shoulders and roll him onto his back. I lie on top of him with my legs straddled over his. I want this.

My kisses grow more intense. He can feel my energy and it fuels him. A moan escapes my lips as he grabs my entire body and pulls me close to him.

Our tongues touch and a new connection is made. I cannot go back now. Lightning strikes through my entire body. The pattern it makes in my body is forever scarred there.

He pulls off my pants. They ease off so easily. There is no resistance in any of our touches. I reach for his belt and pull his pants off.

A small amount of light beats into his room from the street light outside. I can see his eyes. We look at each other for a moment. The earth stands still. I can hear our beating hearts. They are in sync. His face relaxes and the heat is cooled.

A feeling comes over me. My stomach falls to my feet and red spots grow in my eyes. No words will ever accurately describe it. Is this love?

I lean down close to his face. Breath passes between our mouths. It mixes in the air between us. It tangles together and becomes one. My mouth touches his. The softness echoes through the room.

His hand slowly rubs against my spine. Shivers run up my back and push fear out of its hiding place. It runs from itself. My body has no hospitable place for it any longer.

He returns my kiss with one of genuine trust. He has placed himself in my soul. How?

Gently, he enters me. The feeling is completely different than anything I have experienced before. Time fades even more. I never knew that was possible. As it continues, my body fills a newness. I feel refreshed. I feel secure.

My whole body irks as it grows more intense. It irks in the most innocent way. I want his love. I know that he will give it to me. Is that so sinful?

It winds down. Our breath is one. My mouth lays over his. We are not kissing, but rather sharing. Then it is over.

I feel my soul reconnect with my body. I fall to my side and let his bed take me.

He turns his body and looks at me. We both lay naked, completely vulnerable to the other. We have exposed ourselves and left our trust in the other.

Kane.

I flinch. I was hoping the voices would stay away while I am with Noah.

Noah looks at me worried.

“Are you ok?” He asks.

He places his hand on my ribs and gently rubs my body. His touch is so pure and honest.

“Yeah,” I say quietly.

My bleeding mind begs to tell him. The voices. Kane. My past. My flight from the whirlpool.

“Ok,” he says with a drip of hope in his voice. He wishes that I am telling him the truth. I don’t understand why he cares. I may have developed a love for him but I don’t deserve a love from him. I know this and so does my broken brain.

He kisses me heedfully on my cheek. My mind throws me back to when Mark kissed Tabitha on the cheek. I can see it. We could have that.

You just met him. You could have that with

Kane.