Elisabeth Carpenter - 99 Red Balloons

I’m shaking. I need to sit down. I feel so angry. I take the photo of Zoe from the mantelpiece and hug her tightly. ‘Oh my poor, poor girl. You were alive all this time, my love.’ I hold the photo in front of me, and stroke her beautiful face.

‘Where’s Zoe now?’ I say, sinking into a chair.

‘You’re not going to believe this.’

‘David, after what you’ve just told me, I’ll believe anything.’

‘Have you heard about that missing girl?’

‘Grace Harper? As a matter of fact, I have. To be honest, I’ve been a bit obsessed with the case.’

‘Grace is Zoe’s niece.’

‘What?’

‘Yes.’

‘But how can that be? It’s too much of a coincidence.’

‘It’s no coincidence at all. Before I came here today, I went to the police and told them everything I know. I asked for Detective Jackson, but of course he retired years ago.’

‘What did you tell them?’

‘That I know who took Grace Harper.’ David gets up. He kneels at my feet and takes hold of my hand. ‘It was Scott, Maggie.’

‘No.’ I move his hand away from mine. ‘No.’ I get up from the chair. David catches the photo frame before it reaches the floor.

I’m still in my slippers, but I’m out of the front door. This isn’t happening, it can’t be. He knew how it broke us when Zoe was taken – how could he do this to another family? I have to find him, tell him to take Grace home where she belongs.

‘Maggie!’

David’s coming after me, but I don’t want to talk to him. I need to find Scott.

‘Maggie, wait!’

I want to hide from him and put my hands over my ears so I can’t hear any more of his news. My stupid knees. I’m in agony. I want to sprint away from here, blow away on the breeze.

‘Maggie! Why are you running away?’

He touches my shoulder and stands in front of me, bending over to catch his breath. I keep walking, but he walks backwards to keep up with me.

‘I’m tired,’ I tell him. ‘I’m tired of everything. When you told me that Zoe was still alive, it felt like my heart had softened a little bit. But… you told me there was no bad news. Why did you trick me like that?’

‘I wasn’t tricking you, Maggie. I’d never do that to you. I just…’ He stops to catch his breath again. ‘I don’t know. I just wanted you to know that Grace Harper would be all right too. Scott’s not a murderer… he’s just a little misguided.’

‘A little— Did you see what he did to Ron?’

‘It was a long time ago. He’s changed.’

It dawns on me, what he’s saying. I stop walking. ‘Have you been in contact with Scott? Is that how you know all of this?’

He nods.

‘I can’t believe you’re standing in front of me telling me all of this. Did it not occur to you to keep me updated when it happened, with all this news of Zoe? It would have been the little bit of hope that I’d been waiting for, for all of these God-awful years.’

My head is spinning. The sound of the cars, the children in the playground, a buzzing noise – I can’t think. I—

‘Maggie—’

David catches me. I hadn’t realised I was falling. I need to sit down.

‘Let’s get you home.’

I try to wrestle him away, but my balance is off.

‘I don’t want to go home.’

His arm reaches the other side of me so he’s supporting me by both of my elbows. He walks me over to a concrete bench.

I take several slow, deep breaths.

The ringing in my ears is beginning to lessen.

The bell sounds in the schoolyard – end of playtime.

‘Do you remember Jim?’ I say. ‘Ron’s friend from the pub.’

‘Jim… Jim.’ He nods. ‘Yes. Good old Jim. How’s he doing?’

‘He died yesterday. He became a bit of a pal to me these past few years.’

‘Oh, Maggie. I’m so sorry.’

David looks straight ahead as he puts a hand on mine.

‘So am I.’

We sit a few minutes in silence. I lean back against the cold concrete and let the moment wash over me, feeling the sun on my face. The warmth spreads down my neck, down my legs.

Zoe’s alive.

I sit up quickly.

‘What you said about Grace… that Scott has her… it’s not Zoe’s daughter, is it?’

‘No. Like I said, Grace is Zoe’s sister’s child.’

‘I knew it was Zoe in the paper. She was pictured next to Grace Harper’s mother during the press conference. I cut out her picture – from last week’s Gazette. I bought loads of copies and placed them around that picture of Sarah. I thought I was imagining things.’

‘You weren’t. She’s the image of Sarah.’

I take a deep breath before my next question. ‘Have you seen her?’

He shakes his head. ‘I wanted to speak to you first. To see if you wanted to come with me. I haven’t thought about how this is going to work yet, but I think we need to go there.’

I can’t help it. I bury my head in my hands and cry as though I were five years old. I can’t stop. My whole body cries with me. This is the reason I’m still alive; why I’ve had to say goodbye to so many people I love. I thought I’d been left behind, but I was placed here, waiting for Zoe to come back. I wasn’t abandoned. Thank you, God. Thank you .

I needed to get out of the house again. I’ve only walked to the shop, but the fresh air is helping to refresh me. I must have only had a few hours’ sleep last night. Mum arrived at ten thirty this morning, but she joined Matt in a drink when he opened a bottle of wine at eleven. It seems her time of respectable drinking has gone out of the window. I’ve told them they shouldn’t be drinking; we need to keep a clear head in case we get some news. It falls on deaf ears. It’s like they expect the worst.

I walk back slowly, taking double the time it usually takes. Before I reach the front door, it opens. It’s Nadia.

‘A photograph has come through the letterbox.’

‘What? When?’

I’ve only been gone thirty minutes.

‘About five minutes ago, I think – Matt noticed it. Did you see anyone on the street while you were out?’

I shake my head. ‘No… I don’t know… I wasn’t really paying attention.’

Inside, Mum’s cradling another drink in her hands – it looks like vodka now.

‘Have you seen the photo?’ I ask.

She nods. I can’t read her expression.

Matt’s been staring at me since I walked in the room. He takes me by the hand and into the kitchen. I turn to see if Emma noticed, but she’s looking at the photograph.

‘It’s that picture,’ he whispers.

‘What picture?’

‘The one we used on that reunion website.’

‘But I thought we took it down.’

‘Of course we took it down. Why are you acting so stupid? Obviously they downloaded it before that. Fucking hell.’

He turns his back on me and leans forward against the sink. He twists the cold tap on and splashes water on his face.

‘But that can’t be how he found her, can it?’

‘We put our kids on the internet.’ He grabs a tea towel and dries his face. ‘Why the hell did we do that? Your mum’s always going on about not sharing things on the internet – you never know who’s watching , she said. She was right.’

‘Are you sure it’s the same one?’

‘For God’s sake, Steph, Yes . And it has a message on the back: Not so happy families now, are we? ’

Oh shit.

Andrew.

It must be him.

I turn away from Matt and out of the kitchen.

‘Nadia. Can I have a word?’

She narrows her eyes for the briefest of moments. ‘Sure.’

I walk into the hall and out of the front door, hoping that she’s following.