Харлан Кобен - Found

“Buck fell for you.”

Ema looked at me. I had nothing to add to that.

“He fell and he fell hard. You have to understand. You really didn’t know Buck. I know, I know, but... It’s confusing. Buck loved it up here. On this island, he could be himself. He was relaxed and happy and really the kindest, sweetest guy.”

I tried to picture it, but the picture wouldn’t hold. “That’s not the guy we know.”

“That’s my point. Your town. Kasselton, right? Your town with all the popular kids and the sports and the pressure to succeed and get into the right colleges... it warped Buck. He couldn’t handle it. He always had to be something he wasn’t just to fit in.”

I thought about that. I thought about the pressure in that town, the type-A pushy parents, the yelling on the sidelines, the grade grubbing — and then add in for Buck the pressure of the successful brother and maybe losing his starting job.

Jared moved closer to Ema. “But with you,” he said, “Buck felt like he found himself. You were so real. You didn’t care what the other kids thought of you. He so envied that. When he was online with you, once he got over his own stupidity, he started to open up. He could be himself, pretending to be, well, me.”

There were tears in Ema’s eyes now. There were tears in Jared’s too.

“So what happened?” I asked.

“Buck was a mess. He felt trapped, like he was being pulled in all these different directions. He was scared.”

“Of what?” Ema asked.

“Of everything. He wanted to tell you the truth, Ema. But he didn’t know how you’d react. He didn’t know if you’d hate him once you knew that he’d been lying to you this whole time or if you’d forgive him for the past. He thought you’d reject him once you knew.”

I flashed back to my recent conversation with Ema about Troy. I had told her that people change. She was the one who didn’t seem to believe it.

“But like I said,” Jared continued, “he felt trapped. It may sound like nothing now, but what would his friends say? Wouldn’t they all dump on him if he told them he’d fallen in love with you? I know that sounds silly, but these guys had been his whole life. He couldn’t just turn his back on that either.”

“So,” Ema said, “he chickened out.”

Jared said nothing.

“That’s it, right?”

“The ferry is about to leave,” Jared said. “I have to go.”

“Where’s Buck?” I asked.

“Does it matter?” Jared turned to Ema. “He doesn’t want to see you. Isn’t that enough? It’s over.”

The ferry whistle blew last call.

I stood up to block his way, but Ema shook her head. She was right. He had said his piece. I let him pass.

“You should both come with me,” Jared said.

“Why?” I asked.

“You need to leave this island.”

Ema shook her head. “No.”

“Please,” Jared said. “There’s nothing left here for you but more heartache.”

“That’s okay.” Ema stood up. “I’ll just have to deal with more heartache.”

Jared made it to the ferry just before it pulled out.

Ema and I stood side by side. “We need to find Buck,” she said.

“Okay. How?”

“The aunt.”

“Jared’s mother?”

“Yes.”

I frowned. “She seemed like a font of information.”

But Ema had already started walking away. “Come on,” she said. “We need to return the bikes before someone notices they’re missing.”

We pedaled back to the driveway where we had “borrowed” the bicycles. There was no movement. We put the bikes back where they’d been and started up the road toward Jared Lowell’s house.

“Buck,” I said.

“I know.”

“What are you thinking?” I asked her.

“What do you mean?”

“About it being Buck. About Buck falling for you.”

She kept her eyes on the road. “On the one hand, I know that online is not real life. But on the other hand, maybe there is something more real about being online.”

“How so?”

“Online, it’s kind of like you’re in a vacuum without outside pressures. Buck didn’t have to worry about being in his brother’s shadow. He didn’t have to worry if Troy or his friends would mock him because he liked me.”

“So what you’re saying is, maybe you saw the real Buck?”

“Maybe.”

“And?”

“And I fell hard for him.”

I shook my head. “For Buck?”

“Weren’t you the one who told me people change?”

“And weren’t you the one who told me that they didn’t?”

“Good point.”

Ema increased her speed, moving ahead of me and ending the conversation. We were about fifty yards from Jared’s street when Ema ducked behind a tree. She signaled for me to do the same. She was behind the only tree close by, so I joined her.

“What’s going on?” I whispered.

She gestured toward the road. “See that woman with the shopping bag?”

I took a quick peek. There indeed was a woman carrying a brown grocery bag. “What about her?”

“That’s Buck’s mom. I saw her a few times at school concerts and stuff.”

Buck’s mom turned and disappeared down Jared Lowell’s street. When she was out of sight, Ema hurried out from behind the tree. I stayed with her. We slowed when we reached the turn.

“She doesn’t know me,” I said. “I can keep following her.”

But there was no need. Buck’s mother broke to the left, took out her key, and opened the door to what I assumed was her house.

Right next door to Jared’s.

“The sisters live next to each other,” I said.

Ema nodded. “Makes sense.”

“So now what?”

Ema started biting one of her black-polished fingernails. This island was starting to give me the creeps. Maybe in part it was the name, Adiona (duh, you think?), and all this talk about heartache and hurt, but for a second, I wanted us to listen to Jared Lowell and just get off this crazy island now. I didn’t know where Buck was or what he was doing. I didn’t care. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home not just for me but, even more so, for Ema.

Jared had told us that she’d find heartache on this island. Bat Lady had warned us that the answer would hurt her. I didn’t want anyone or anything to hurt Ema anymore. I didn’t want anything to hurt Rachel or Spoon either, but the truth was, since I had entered their lives, they had all taken devastating hits. Rachel had been shot and lost her mother. Spoon had been shot and now lay paralyzed in a hospital bed.

If something happened to Ema...

“I’m going to knock on the door,” Ema said.

“I’ll go with you.”

“No.”

“What?”

She turned and looked up at me. “Not this time, Mickey. Okay? Just trust me on this.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just stood there. Ema walked to the door. She raised her fist, hesitated for a moment, and then knocked on the door. Time stood still. After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened. When Buck’s mother saw who it was, her hand flew to her mouth as she choked back a cry.

Ema stepped forward. “My name is—”

“You’re Ema,” Buck’s mother finished for her.

Ema looked confused. “Yes. But how did you—”

Buck’s mother opened the door. “Please, come inside.”

Time didn’t stand still. It just passed by really, really slowly.

For the first ten minutes, I sat on the curb in front of the house. I got antsy. I stood and started walking just a little up the street, then a little down the street, hoping to catch a glimpse of something — anything — in the windows.

But there was nothing.