Harlan Coben - Don’t Let Go

“Why sad?”

She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I want to know.”

“It’d be over soon.”

“What?”

From her spot on the ground she looks up. “You and me.”

“Wait, you knew all that when you were just sitting here?”

Maura shakes her head. “You can still be so obtuse, Nap. I had no idea what was about to happen.”

“Then—?”

“What I mean is, I knew you and I would never make it. Not for the long haul. We’d finish senior year, maybe last the summer—”

“I loved you.”

I just blurt it out, like that. It startles her for a second, but not much longer than that.

“And I loved you, Nap. But you were off to a fancy college and a big life and there wouldn’t be room for me and, God, what a cliché, right?” Maura stops, closes her eyes, shakes it off. “There’s no reason to revisit this right now.”

She’s right. I help her ease back on topic. “So you were sitting here drinking and smoking.”

“Right. And I’m getting a little wasted. Not terribly. Just tipsy. And I’m staring at this base. It’s always so quiet there, but suddenly I hear a noise.”

“What kind of noise?”

“I don’t know. Men shouting. An engine starting up. So I stand up” — Maura does that now, sliding her back up the tree — “and I figure what the hell. Let’s get to the bottom of this once and for all. Be a hero to the whole Conspiracy Club cause. So I start marching toward the fence.”

Maura marches toward the base. I stay right with her.

“What did you see?” I ask.

“There were a bunch more of those warning signs. Like a ton circling the base. They were all bright red, remember?”

“Yes.”

“Like, ‘this is your last chance, go back or die.’ We were always afraid to go past them because they were too close to the fence line. But that night I didn’t even slow down. I actually started sprinting.”

We are both back there now, on that night, and I almost hesitate at the spot where those red signs used to be. We cross the invisible barrier, heading straight toward the rusted fence. She points to the top of the corner pole.

“There was a camera up there. I remember thinking that they might see me. But I was flying high, not a care in the world. I just kept running and then...”

She slows, stops. Her hand comes up to her throat.

“Maura?”

“I was right about here when the lights came on.”

“Lights?”

“Spotlights. Huge ones with big beams. They were so bright I had to put my hand up to shade my eyes.” She does that now, shading her eyes from an imaginary light. “I couldn’t make out a thing. I was sort of frozen there, in the beam, not sure what to do. And then I heard the gunfire.”

Maura lowers her hand.

“They were shooting at you?”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“What do you mean, you guess?”

“I mean, that’s what started it, right?” Maura’s voice goes up an octave now. I can hear the fear, the regret. “Me. I ran toward the fence like a stupid kid. I ignored the warning signs. I tripped a wire or they spotted me or something, so they did what they promised on the signs. They started shooting. So, yeah, I guess they were shooting at me.”

“What did you do?”

“I turned and ran. I remember hearing a bullet hit a tree right by my head. But, see, eventually I made it out alive. The bullets — they never hit me.”

She raises her head and looks me straight in the eyes.

“Leo,” I say.

“I kept running, and they kept shooting. And then...”

“Then what?”

“I heard a woman scream. I’m sprinting as fast as I can, dodging trees, trying to keep low so I make a smaller target. But I turn when I hear the scream. A woman’s scream. I see someone, maybe a man, in silhouette through those bright lights... more gunfire blasts... then I hear the woman scream again, except this time... this time I think I recognize the voice. She screams, ‘Leo!’ She screams, ‘Leo, help,’ except the ‘help’ is cut off by another shot being fired.”

I realize I’m holding my breath.

“And now... now I hear a man yell for everyone to hold their fire... silence... dead silence... and then maybe, I don’t know anymore, but maybe someone yells, ‘What have you done...’ And then someone else yells, ‘There was another girl, we have to find her...’ but I don’t hear that for sure, I don’t know if it’s in my head or for real, because I’m running. I’m running and I’m not stopping...”

She looks at me like she needs my help and like I better not offer any.

I don’t move. I don’t think I can.

“They... they just shot them?”

Maura doesn’t reply.

Then I say something dumb. “And you just ran away?”

“What?”

“I mean, I get why you ran then — to get away from the danger. But when you were safe, why didn’t you call the police?”

“And say what?”

“How about ‘Hello, I saw two people shot’?”

Her eyes flick away from me. “Maybe I should have,” she says.

“That’s not really a good enough answer.”

“I was stoned and scared and I freaked out, okay? It’s not like I knew they’d been shot dead or something. I didn’t see or hear Leo, just Diana. I panicked. You get that, right? So I hid for a while.”

“Where?”

“You remember that stone hut behind the town pool?”

I nod.

“I just sat there in the dark. I don’t know how long. You can see Hobart Avenue from there. I saw big black cars driving by slowly. Maybe I was just paranoid, but I thought they were looking for me. At some point I decided to go to your house.”

This is news to me, but then again, what about tonight isn’t? “You went to my house?”

“That was my destination, yeah, but when I reached your street, I saw another big black car parked on the corner. It’s past midnight. Two men are sitting in suits watching your house. So I knew. They were covering their bases.” She came closer to me. “Pretend now that I call this in to the police. I call and I say I think the guys at the base maybe shot someone. I don’t really have any details or anything. But I have to give my name. They’d ask what I was doing near the base. I could lie or I could say I was up there smoking a joint and drinking some Jack. By the time they’d listen to me, those guys at the base — they’d clean it up. Do you really not see this?”

“So you just ran again,” I say.

“Yes.”

“To Ellie’s.”

She nods. “At one point, I said to myself, ‘Let’s give it a day or two, see what happens.’ Maybe they’ll forget about me. But of course they don’t. I’m watching from behind a rock when they interrogate my mother. And then when I see on the news that they found Leo’s and Diana’s bodies... I mean, I knew. The news didn’t say anything about them being shot. They said they were hit by a train on the other side of town. So now what? What could I do? The evidence was gone. Who would ever believe me?”

“I would have,” I say. “Why didn’t you come to me?”

“Oh, Nap, are you serious?”

“You could have told me, Maura.”

“And what would you have done? You, a hotheaded eighteen-year-old boy?” She glares at me for a moment. “If I’d told you, you’d be dead too.”

We stand there and let that truth hang in the air.

“Come on,” Maura says with a shiver. “Let’s get out of here.”

When we get back to the car, I say, “I left my car at that club.”

“I called it in,” Maura says.

“What does that mean?”

“I called the club and gave them the make and license plate and said that I was too drunk to drive. I told them I’d pick it up tomorrow.”