Lisa Scottoline - Everywhere That Mary Went

Judy nods emphatically, her eyes wide.

Bitter Man eases off the trigger. “Your best friend? Good. We’ll need her. She’ll be our witness.”

“Yes, that’s right,” I say evenly. “Now let her go, Bill. She has to go home now.”

“She can’t go, she’s the witness. For our wedding. I’m performing it tonight. Get up, Mary!”

“Wedding?”

“There’s no time to waste. I know the truth now. I have to get you away from the Jew. That blustering fool, he’s no lawyer. He’s nothing but a horse trader. So get up!”

I don’t move. I can’t.

“Get up, you whore!” He swings the gun crazily over to me.

I can barely breathe. The gun is two inches from my forehead. It’s a dull silver color, like a shark, and bigger than I thought. Bigger than Marv’s gun. The end of the barrel points directly at me, a lethal black circle.

“Get up!” His shout reverberates in the tiny office. Suddenly, he shoves the gun against my forehead.

I hear Judy gasp.

The cold metal digs into my skin. I feel paralyzed in my chair, terrified to move an inch. I will myself to speak. “Bill, please. Let’s talk-”

“There’s no time for talk.” He pushes the gun into my head.

My gut tightens. “I don’t understand. I need you to…teach me.”

“What?”

“I don’t understand you, your feelings.”

“My feelings?” he says, testy.

“Yes. About me.”

“We don’t have time for this, Mary. What about my feelings? Be precise!”

“Do you really love me? I’m not-”

“Of course I love you, of course I do.” His head shakes slightly. The gun barrel jiggles against my forehead.

“I wasn’t sure, Bill. I didn’t know…how you felt. You never told me.”

“Well, I do love you. I love you more than any of them.”

“But how can I trust your love, when you-”

“Trust my love!” he roars. “Trust my love! I’ve risked everything for you. It’s all been for you. All of it!”

I catch my breath. I can hear the blood throbbing in my ears. “What have you done for me, Bill?”

“I killed him! Your husband, the schoolteacher. He took you away from me, away from the law. He brought those brats into my courtroom. So ignorant. Theyclapped, by God. Inmy courtroom!”

My heart stops. Mike. I hear myself moan.

“He didn’t deserve you, Mary. He couldn’t offer you what I can. He taught spelling, for God’s sake, to small children. He knew nothing about the law. Nothing!”

“Did you kill my secretary, Bill?” I can barely utter the words.

“He had his arm around you. I thought he was your date from the night before. The one you had dinner with. The one who kissed you at your doorstep. He had no right!”

I close my eyes. Brent. A mistake. “So you followed me in the car. And called me.”

“I had to.”

“Why? Why did you have to?”

“To be near you. And to check up on you, I admit it. I had to make sure you were working hard, applying yourself. You get distracted by men, Mary, we both know this. I couldn’t let it happen again. You have a brilliant career ahead of you. I’ll teach you everything I know. You’ll write, publish. You’re going to be one of the best!”

The gun barrel bores into my temple.

“Now do you see how much I care for you? Now do you understand?”

The office is dead quiet. Judy is frozen in front of the door, her eyes full of horror.

“I see now…that you’ve done a lot for me, Bill. But if you really love me, you’ll give me the gun. That will prove you really love me.”

“I’m not stupid, Mary,” he says coldly.

“But how can I believe you love me when you’re threatening to kill me? It’s not…logical, Bill. It doesn’t stand to reason. You taught me that, how important it was to test-”

“Why is it so hot in here? Why?” Bitter Man looks angrily around the room. “They keep it too hot!”

The gun moves on my head. I try to squeeze back my fear. “As soon as you give me the gun, we can be married. But I won’t go as your prisoner. I’ll go freely. As your wife.”

“No, no. This is all wrong.” Tears begin to gather in his eyes, but he shakes them off. “All wrong. I need the gun. I can’t give it to you.”

“I’ll be your wife, Bill. Finally and forever. Think of it.”

“It’s not going to work.” He starts to sob. “You wanthim now. You don’t want me anymore. You betrayed me.” He drills the gun into my forehead, shoving me backward with it.

I feel panic rising in my throat, almost choking me. “No, I didn’t, Bill. It wasn’t true, what Jameson said. I want you. I’ll work hard, I’ll make you proud of me. We’ll be the best, Bill. The two of us.”

Bitter Man starts to whisper furiously, incomprehensibly, to himself. Tears stream down his face. I look over at Judy, who looks terrified. The judge is a madman, and he’s falling apart like a demented Humpty Dumpty. “Bill, give me the gun. I want to be the best. I can’t do it without you. I need you!”

“Mary,” he says, crying. “Mary.” It’s the only understandable word he utters; the rest are whispered ravings. His eyes are so tear-filled he can’t see. He moves to wipe them on his sleeve and the gun drops away slightly from my temple.

It’s my only chance. And Judy’s.

I reach for the barrel and yank the gun away from him with all my might. It comes free in my hand.

Bitter Man looks at me in shock, then in fury. “Mary, what are you doing!” His eyes are like glittering slits.

“Get back! Get away from me!” I scream. I point the heavy gun at him and rise to my feet, weak-kneed. I hold the gun with two hands, like Marv said.

“I’ll get help!” Judy shouts. She opens the door and runs out. As fast as she is, two stairs at a time, it’ll take her just minutes to get to Avarice and back to Gluttony.

“Back up, Judge!”

“You can’t be serious,” he says, in a voice suddenly dark with malevolence. His tears have stopped completely, as have his mutterings.

“Get back!” I aim the gun higher, right at his eyes. “Now!”

He backs up against the bookcase, sneering at me.

“Stay there! I mean it!” I lock my arms out straight. The gun wobbles slightly as I grip its grooved wooden handle.

“You would never hurt me.”

“Stay back!” I try to hold the gun still. There’s engraving on its steel barrel.S amp;W.357MAGNUM. Jesus, it’s terrifying to have something like that in your hand. To hold something that packs so much power. It can kill in the blink of an eye.I could kill in the blink of an eye. The realization hits me with as much impact as any bullet. There are no witnesses. I could get away with murder.

“You couldn’t hurt me. You love me.”

“No. I love Mike.”

Bitter Man flinches. “The teacher? Forget him, he was dog shit. That’s why I killed him. He died like a dog, too. Road kill.” He laughs softly.

I can’t hear this. I look down the barrel of the gun. At the end is an orange sight. I line it up with the small American flag that is Bitter Man’s tie tack. My hand shakes slightly, but it’s easier to aim the gun than I thought.

“He was nothing. Insignificant. Weak. If you had seen his face-”

“Stop it!” I use the flag like a bull’s-eye. I focus on it and breathe deeply. Once, then again. An absolute calm comes over me. Bitter Man is three feet away, a large target. I have the weapon, I can use it. He killed two innocent men, men I loved. They didn’t deserve to die. He does, and I can kill him. All I have to do is pull the trigger. The ultimate in fucking back.

“He whimpered like-”

“Shut up!” I spit at him, in a voice I’ve never heard before. I have a split second before Judy gets back.