Elmore Leonard - Maximum Bob

“It’s what I’m here on earth for,” Leanne said. “To answer those who ask.” Her eyes for an instant began to glaze and she straightened, hitting the table hard with the edge of her fist. “No! Now you stay put, darn it.”

Kathy waited a moment. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.”

“I won’t ask you anything personal.”

“I’ve spoken to thousands of people,” Leanne said. “My life is literally an open book.”

“Well, something I’ve always wondered about-when you’re performing underwater, how do you stay down? I mean keep from rising up.”

“Controlling your depth, a lot of it is in the breathing, something you have to learn. You don’t just put on a tail and you’re a mermaid.” Leanne cocked her head, her eyes shining with an inner wisdom. “When people from out of town ask how do you get to Weeki? A mermaid will always answer, ‘Practice.’”

“That’s good,” Kathy said. “Do you mind talking about the alligator?”

“Which one? The one here or at Weeki?”

“Both, I guess. The one at Weeki first.”

“You want the whole story? My out-of-body experience and what happened in the hospital after?”

“Everything,” Kathy said.

“Well, it began just after one in the afternoon of a gorgeous day.” Leanne’s gaze moved to the backyard. “I remember rising from the underwater chamber behind the screen of air bubbles we use as a curtain and seeing the surface of the spring, above me, shimmering in bright sunlight…”

As soon as Gary was in the chair she turned him around and he saw their faces close together in the mirror: Gary’s pale next to her bright glow of makeup, the woman coming on to him, running her hands over his shoulders as she studied his reflection. She was in her fifties, not bad looking, full of energy. Sang to him in Spanish shampooing his hair in the back room.

“I just want a trim.”

“Don’t worry, I take good care of you. Like last time.”

“I don’t think you’ve cut my hair.”

“I haven’t? Good-looking guy like you? I’m surprise. You sure you don’t have me before?”

“I’d remember you.”

She liked that. Getting her comb and scissors from the counter she gave him a wink.

“Are you Betty?”

“Of course. Who else? Maybe it was Helen you had. Helen quit. No, it must be it was Isabel. You like how she fix your hair?”

“Yeah, that’s why I came back.”

“It was Isabel. She isn’t come in yet, has trouble with her car. But listen, I can take care of you good, don’t worry. Put your head down.” She began working on him, humming, hitting her scissors against the comb in rhythm.

Gary raised his eyes to the mirror, saw his head sticking out of the turquoise cover, Betty lifting his wet hair and snipping with a flourish, moving her shoulders as she hummed. He thought of Kathy touching his hair and then saw her in bed in early morning light, her eyes coming open and for a moment or so not aware of him. Both times when they were together and she woke up, felt him close and there he was, she said, “What’re you doing?” A murmur, sleep still in her voice. He said, “I’m looking at you.” His head raised from the pillow. He was so close to her she said the first time, yesterday morning, “You must need glasses.” This morning she looked at him and didn’t say anything, waiting, and he said, “I love to look at you.” She said, “We’re moving right along, aren’t we?” with that quiet expression in her eyes, knowing things. She raised her hand to his face, touched his mouth with the tips of her fingers…

He saw the cowboy hat in the mirror.

Elvin saying, “You do men in this place or just women and sissies?” And Betty turning, saying to him, “We do everybody. Have a seat, mister. You next.”

Gary almost said his name, but now the hat was gone from the mirror. He waited and finally heard Elvin say, “Is that you, Officer?” And Betty say, “Oh, you know each other?” She swiveled the chair around and now Gary was facing him, Elvin saying, “I thought you were some woman getting a marcel,” as he eased into the chair across from Gary’s, filling it with his bright blue suit.

Gary said, “You getting a haircut?”

Elvin smoothed the front of his suit coat. “Yeah, and I’m in a hurry too.”

Betty said, “Isabel will be here soon. You wait, okay?”

“I never had nobody name Isabel cut my hair,” Elvin said, “or been in a beauty parlor.”

Then why did he come? Gary thought, Betty saying, “We do hair designs. This is no beauty parlor, no. But I can make you beautiful if you want, mister. Fix you up.”

“I wouldn’t mind being beautiful,” Elvin said, “if I don’t have to wait.”

“Isabel, she be here soon.”

“But I don’t want Isabel. I want you.”

“Sure, in a few minutes. It won’t be long.”

“I mean I want you right now,” Elvin said.

“The reason I came back,” Leanne said, “I left my rare and beautiful window crystal buried in the backyard.” She looked out that way. “See the two petticoat palms? They look like women, don’t they, in fancy dress. The crystal is buried between them.”

“In the ground?”

“To revitalize its energy. The earth, you know, has wonderful restorative powers. What a window crystal does,” Leanne said, “used for meditation, it allows you to look into your soul and see the real you. Not the one you see in the mirror, the one you’re pretending to be.”

Kathy said, “Oh.”

“It’s like using a crystal ball to see things about yourself aura-wise, you might say.”

“You can see into the future with it?”

“Some. Or you can use it to locate missing persons or help others see themselves. If I aimed a window crystal at you and then looked into it with my third eye, I’d get a pretty good idea of your inner self. Wanda was always after me to use it on Big.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t get him to even touch the crystal. Wanda says ‘cause he’s afraid of it, but that’s no reason I shouldn’t keep working on him.”

“Is that why she didn’t want to leave?”

“Partly. She likes it here, it reminds her of her home in Clinch County, Georgia. But mostly she thinks I should be able to save Big, change the way he is. Wanda says he’s gonna have an awful time on the other side if he doesn’t learn to open his heart. But try and get him to think about dying.”

“You might have better luck with him now,” Kathy said, “after what happened. You know he was shot at?”

“When I saw it in the paper,” Leanne said, “I wondered if it had changed him any. Would you say?”

Kathy thought about it and nodded. “He seems less sure of himself.”

“Aware of his mortality in this life?”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Kathy said. “But I think you could get to him now, do him a world of good.” Kathy hesitated, then went straight ahead saying, “I mean if you could find it in your heart to stay here and be his wife again.” She took a breath and said, “Big needs you.”

Leanne was looking at her in a strange cockeyed sort of way, unfocused, like she was stoned. Maybe using her third eye, Kathy wasn’t sure.

“You were sent here,” Leanne said.

“Actually I came to look for something in the trash.”

It brought Leanne back. She said, “The trash was picked up this morning,” and seemed concerned. “Hauled away. Is this something valuable you lost? Maybe I can help you find it.”

Kathy eased back in the chair, quiet for a moment. She said, “Thanks anyway,” not wanting to get into it with Leanne. “It’s not that important.” And saw the woman giving her that strange look again, as if in some kind of trance.