Elmore Leonard - Maximum Bob

This time Gary nodded, sitting across from her in the booth with his suit coat off, cotton dress shirt soft and snowy white, an ad for Tide. Except he would never drip barbecue sauce on it to show how the detergent would get it out. He had asked where she wanted to go. She said she didn’t care, as long as it wasn’t dressy. He said how about Chuck’s Bar-B-Que Pit, his favorite place.

It was okay. They served pitchers of beer.

“Dale acts tough,” Kathy said, but he goes to FSP, he finds out he’s just another punk. I’m thinking maybe Elvin talked to him. You know, advised him, showed him how to make a shank… Dale says holy shit, man, he’d rather be a fugitive than try to hack DOC time. Or Elvin might’ve told him, you’re out, stay out. And he took off.”

Gary nodded, Mr. Agreeable today, picking up his napkin. “Who do you think he looks like in the movies?”

“Elvin or Dale?”

“Elvin.”

Kathy hesitated, then took a chance and said, “I don’t think he looks like anybody.”

“I don’t either,” Gary said. “Maybe some bit player. Elvin overacts, trying to be the bad guy.”

“But he is . What did you talk about when I was in the house?”

“I asked him if Dale had taken off, where he might be. Elvin said he didn’t know.”

“You believe him?”

“It doesn’t matter one way or the other. I can’t make him tell me if he doesn’t want to.”

“He told you to get fucked-I thought you were going to hit him.”

“That was for your benefit. He wouldn’t have said it if it was just him and me.”

“You weren’t mad?”

“I might’ve been on the edge.”

“Why didn’t you pull your gun?”

“I didn’t have to.”

“I mean instead of grabbing him by the hair.”

“Why? I wasn’t going to shoot him.”

“But you took a chance, he’s a big guy.”

“You had him distracted.” Gary smiled saying it. “They teach you that finger hold at the Academy? Somebody your size, you ever have to get physical, I think you’d do better with a gun.”

“You sound like my brothers.”

“At least show it. That’s why Elvin and I got along, after. I had a gun and he didn’t. What can he do? Guy fresh out of prison, does he want to risk going back? He isn’t that dumb.”

“Yes, he is,” Kathy said. “He doesn’t think. You heard him say he’s working for a doctor in Ocean Ridge? It has to be the same one Michelle was talking about, in the office.”

“Michelle,” Gary said. “She the one stands real straight? Has the nice posture?”

“You mean the cute ass. She’s our Community Control officer,” Kathy said, “getting back to the doctor, Tomas Vasco in Ocean Ridge. It has to be Elvin’s Dr. Tommy.”

Gary was paying attention now. “That’s a familiar name, Vasco. What’d he do?”

“They had him on some kind of dope charge. He drew, I think, county time plus probation, Community Control on an anklet and had his license revoked, or suspended.”

She watched Gary gnaw a rib clean, wipe his mouth with a napkin, but miss a dab of barbecue sauce on his chin.

“There was a guy named Vasco arraigned on a homicide, or he was called as a key witness, about a year, year and a half ago. I’ll look it up. He’s wearing an anklet, huh?”

“Two years,” Kathy said, staring at the barbecue sauce on his chin. “I think he still has one to go.”

“If Elvin’s working for him… You allow that, offenders getting together?”

“Not if we think they’re up to something. You hear him say I can’t check on him if he might get fired? He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. That’s a special condition you have to get a judge to okay. Elvin’s the kind of guy thinks he knows everything and can beat the system. They’re always pretty dumb, those guys.”

Gary said, “It sounds like Dr. Tommy isn’t too bright either. Hires a convicted felon? If he knows who Elvin is.”

“Elvin would tell him, don’t worry,” Kathy said.

“Then the doctor would be risking a violation.”

“That’s right. So either he doesn’t care, or, for some reason, he thinks it’s worth it.”

She watched Gary giving it some thought, the dab of barbecue sauce still on his chin.

He said, “Maybe we should have a talk with Dr. Tommy. What do you think?”

She liked the way he was including her and said, “With or without a search warrant?”

That got a smile.

She touched a finger to her chin.

He raised the napkin and wiped his.

She said, “So I add the doctor to my caseload?”

It seemed to Elvin every time he came here Dr. Tommy acted different, showing more of himself or a different side to him. Showing everything today, Dr. Tommy coming out of his swimming pool bare naked. Looking up at the cocktail hour sky and slicking his hair back with both hands.

Some kind of black thing, like a little box, was taped to his ankle.

Just then the sound of Latin booger music came on loud and for a second Elvin thought the black thing on his ankle was a transistor radio. But no, the music was coming from the house.

Elvin, still back a ways on the lawn, watched Dr. Tommy stretch his arms out to the sides and begin to move in time to the music, doing a booger dance Elvin believed was called the mumbo. Now here was Hector coming from the patio in a little jockstrap type of bathing suit that showed the cheeks of his butt, the dink popping them side to side to the music and carrying what became a silky white robe, holding it open now as Dr. Tommy gave him a sexy look over his shoulder-Jesus Christ-and slipped into the robe.

Now there was a picture.

The two of them doing the mumbo back to the house, grinning and touching each other, the doc slapping Hector’s bare butt with the sash ends of his robe and Hector saying stop that or something in Spanish, acting more like a girl than ever.

Elvin could identify behavior under certain drugs even though he didn’t believe in them. Why go to all the trouble to buy that shit, have to deal with niggers mostly, when you could get all the beer and whiskey you wanted driving no more than two blocks in any direction? On the way here Elvin had stopped at a cocktail bar in Boynton Beach. He left Dale’s pickup outside for the guys in the Thunderbird to watch-the ones who’d followed him from home-slipped out the back way and rode a taxicab over here, having made plans for the future.

He found the two boogers in the kitchen:

Dr. Tommy on a stool, sitting at a high butcher table in the middle of the room, still moving his shoulders to the music as he rolled a joint. Hector was mumboing around a blender, pouring different things into it from bottles on the counter.

“I see I’m just in time,” Elvin said. “You girls having a little drinky?”

Dr. Tommy looked up but didn’t stop moving, too much into what he was doing or doped up to act surprised. He had the joint rolled and was wetting it in and out of his mouth. Hector had the blender going, holding his hand on it. Dr. Tommy said something in Spanish and Hector laughed, nodding his head, his hair in a greased ponytail today. Now Hector was talking in Spanish.

“You two’re cute,” Elvin said, “but impolite.” He saw Dr. Tommy smoking the joint now, sucking in on it. “What was it you said to him?”

“You come in, I said, ‘Ah, it’s the great shooter of windows.’” Dr. Tommy spoke in that strained voice of a weed smoker, holding his breath.

“That’s pretty funny,” Elvin said. “You think it was me the other night shot at the judge?”

No answer. Hector came over with creamy yellowish drinks in big wineglasses. He served Dr. Tommy first and toked off the joint before shoving a glass across the table toward Elvin, saying something in Spanish in that strained voice. Dr. Tommy seemed to get a kick out of it. Elvin heard his name in whatever was said. He stood at one side of the table, between the two boogers at opposite ends.