Elmore Leonard - Maximum Bob

She thought about it now and said, “Who does Elvin look like, in the movies?”

That’s where they were going now, to see Elvin. Gary had called the office and asked her to come along and they’d have dinner after.

He said, “I haven’t seen Elvin in ten years,” smiling a little as he looked at her. “I’ll let you know.”

She could tell by the look he felt something too, catching him looking different times last night. The trouble right now, she couldn’t think of a movie actor Elvin resembled even a little. Though if Gary mentioned one after seeing Elvin again it might be worth saying yeah, that’s the one I was thinking of. It would be okay to cheat. Or she might actually see the movie actor in Elvin.

She said, “I hope Dale’s home.”

“He wasn’t this morning,” Gary said. “Two of my guys stopped by to check. Elvin slammed the door in their face.”

“He still could’ve been there, inside.”

“You’re right. There could be a.22 rifle in there, too.”

“So get a warrant.”

“I’d rather not barge in. At this point do anything to get Elvin upset. You know, hard to manage.” Gary was quiet for several moments, passing cars in the freeway traffic. “I was thinking you might do it if I can’t.”

“Do what, go in their house?”

“You’re allowed to, aren’t you? Look for drugs, anything a guy on probation isn’t supposed to have?”

“You’re using me,” Kathy said. “I go in and look around you’ll take me to dinner, uh? Is that the deal?”

“I just thought of it this minute, honest.”

“You tried for a warrant and the judge turned you down.”

“That part’s true, I happened to get a judge, he’s either a civil rights nut or doesn’t care if Gibbs gets shot. I haven’t figured out which.”

“I love that line, you can’t imagine us dealing with offenders,” Kathy said. “But it’s okay if we’re helping out a cop.”

“My timing wasn’t too good,” Gary said, and paused, his eyes on the road. “It’s not a bad idea though, is it? If Dale’s there you get a chance to talk to him?”

“If he isn’t I can still look for the gun.”

“It’s up to you. If you don’t want to do it, I understand.”

“You’ll still take me to dinner?”

“Wherever you want.”

The thing was, she liked the idea of doing a search. Doing no more than her job, really, but now it was police work and that added some excitement.

She said, “Okay, but what if Elvin won’t let me in?”

“He has to.”

“You mean he’s supposed to.”

He was sitting on the front steps with a longneck, cowboy hat down on his eyes in the late sun, bare arms across his knees in a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off. His hat, eye-level to Kathy, showed sweat stains and crimps she hadn’t noticed before. Here was the ex-con model repeat-offender. And here was Gary Hammond in his navy-blue suit giving Elvin a friendly hello. “How you doing?” Introducing himself, showing the shield pinned to his belt. “I wonder if we could go inside, have a talk.”

“I like it here,” Elvin said. “I get to watch your buddies in the Thunderbird up the street there. They got everybody around here ready to flush their product down the toilet.”

Kathy stepped closer. “Elvin, where’s Dale?”

“I ain’t seen him.”

“His truck’s here.”

“He’s letting me use it.”

“You’re working?”

“I told you I was, didn’t I?”

“Doing what?”

“This guy over in Ocean Ridge hired me to keep an eye out, see nobody messes with him. He’s a rich doctor.”

“What’s his name?”

“I call him Dr. Tommy, and that’s all I’m gonna tell you.”

Gary got into it saying, “Were you there the night before last, Elvin, at the doctor’s?”

“Let’s see, what was that, Thursday? I might’ve been.”

“We can check if you don’t remember.”

“No, you can’t. It’s against the rules to tell my employer about me if I might get fired.”

Kathy said, “Where’d you hear that?”

“From a guy I know was on probation one time. Hey, but I wasn’t over there anyway. No, I remember now, I was in Lake Worth getting a blowjob. In the front seat of that pickup there. You want to check, her name was… Shit, I forgot her name. Cute little Hi-spanic piece a ass. Like her,” Elvin said, looking at Kathy.

She said, “I want you in for a urine test Monday.”

“Is this for disease or dope? I don’t do any dope. Never have.”

“If I tell you to come in for a test, you come in. It doesn’t matter what it’s for.”

“I’ll piss for you right here,” Elvin said, “in this beer bottle. You can take it with you.” He opened his legs and let one hand slide down the inside of his thigh.

“You’re out of line,” Gary said.

Elvin looked at him. “Is that your opinion?”

“Why don’t you behave yourself?”

“Why don’t you get fucked?”

Kathy stepped in, raising a tennis shoe to the first step. “I’d like you to move out of the way, Elvin. I’m going in the house.”

“Dale ain’t in there, I told you.”

“Are you gonna move?”

Elvin said, “I don’t see why I should,” looking at her with those stupid eyes under the hat brim, thinking this was funny. “What I’m wondering is why you brought this dink along says he’s a police officer. Shit, I thought he was your sister.”

“I’m going in the house,” Kathy said. She started up the steps past him. Elvin put his hand out, touched her stomach and she grabbed a finger, the middle one, not the one she wanted, tried to bend it and he grinned at her holding it stiff. “Move,” Kathy said, “or I’ll violate you.”

Elvin said, “That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.”

She saw his expression change, his face raise with a dumb look and his hat was gone, snatched from his head. She saw Gary close to her throw the hat aside and grab a handful of Elvin’s hair, Elvin thrashing around now, pushing her out of the way, reaching for Gary’s arm, but Gary’s fist was in his hair tight and Elvin howled as she saw Gary dragging him off the steps, tripping him, throwing him down in the weeds along the front walk; Gary kneeling on him now, a knee planted on Elvin’s chest as he brushed his suit coat open to grip the Beretta holstered on his hip. She heard Gary say, “If I pull it, I shoot it. You understand? It’s up to you.” Not angry or excited, more like he was reciting it from a manual. Kathy didn’t move till he looked over and said, “Go on in. We’ll wait here.”

It didn’t take long to look around, empty beer bottles and pizza cartons- Pizza from Pisa and a drawing of the Leaning Tower-palmetto bugs, dirty dishes, clothes all over the place, some she thought might be Dale’s, but no rifle. In the kitchen she found a spoon with the handle sharpened to a point and a piece of wood taped to the other end.

Now they were standing in the yard talking, Elvin with his hat on again, their expressions mild but not telling much. Gary doing most of the talking. Elvin would shrug.

Kathy watched them from the front steps.

Elvin walked away now, through the weeds to Dale’s pickup and got in. Gary raised his hand-she believed to the Thunderbird parked down the street-as Elvin drove off. Gary turned to the house and Kathy held up the sharpened spoon.

“No rifle. How about a shank?”

“It was on the kitchen table,” Kathy said, watching Gary gnawing on a barbecued rib, his little fingers pointing out, the guy so neat. “But I don’t know if a shank is considered a weapon outside.” She watched Gary shake his head now, meaning he didn’t know either. “Elvin couldn’t have brought it with him, so I guess he made it, showing Dale how to do prison. What do you think?”