Erica Spindler - Cause for Alarm

But she couldn't fool herself, either. To compete with Kate for Richard, she would have to be firm and lithe. She would have to be sexy.

Kate walked to the driveway end of the gallery and peered over the side, though Julianna couldn't see at what. She moved gracefully, Julianna thought studying the other woman, recalling Kate as she had been in the photos. Fluidly. Everything about Kate Ryan was graceful, classy.

But not cold. No, Kate was warm. Approachable. Julianna had seen that warmth in her photos, her eyes and smile had radiated it. And she had read it in her words- ones about motherhood, love and trust, about life.

Tears stung Julianna's eyes. Kate was a nice person. An emotional one, one who felt things keenly.

Julianna was going to hurt her; what she planned would hurt her. Terribly. Julianna hated that, she did.

She sucked in a ragged breath, forcing back her remorse, the pinch of guilt. It was for the best, she reminded herself. Kate would forget Richard, forget her hurt as she held her baby in her arms, as she watched it grow.

A car pulled into the driveway, its headlights arcing light across the face of the house, bringing Kate briefly into clear view.

Richard. Julianna stood. She brought a hand to her chest, to her runaway heart. It hurt to be so close to him, yet so far. She longed to go to him, longed to feel his arms around her, to hear his whispered greeting in her ear.

What would he do if she approached him? Would he recognize her the way she had recognized him? As his soul mate? The one he was meant to love? To be with?

She sank back to the bench, knowing he would not. He was a man of logic. Of reason and of commitment. Because of his commitment to Kate, he would deny he felt anything for Julianna.

Until he could deny it no more.

Her mother had taught her that no man was ever really married. She had taught her that deep down, in every man, there lurked a need that went unfulfilled. A secret longing so potent, that once realized, they would leave family, country or God to have it fulfilled.

She would find Richard's secret longing. The universe, the benevolent gods, would lead her to it.

A car door, his car door, slammed shut. From the upper gallery, Kate called out a greeting and waved. He looked up and called back to her. The sound of his voice floated on the evening air, reaching Julianna and wrapping around her like a lover's arms.

He came around the front of the house, then stopped suddenly and turned toward the lake. Toward the park, the bench-toward her. She felt his gaze upon her as tangible, as real, as a caress.

She brought a hand to her heart. He sensed her presence. He felt the connection between them. Like a spark of light in the darkness, like heat in a vast, cold wasteland.

A moment later, he disappeared into the house.

Julianna didn't move. Time passed, though she didn't know how much. The cold slipped over and around her, seeping through her coat, then skin, numbing her. As her body ceased to exist, her mind took flight.

She knew what she had to do to win Richard.

She had to become Kate.

It was so obvious. Richard loved his wife. Deeply. Everything about her. It was one of the reasons Julianna had fallen in love with him.

If she became like Kate, a younger, sexier Kate, he would love her, too. He would love her more. He would see that they were meant to be together.

She would watch them, study and learn. And he would be hers.

Smiling at the future she saw unfolding before her, Julianna stood and left the park.

Saturday morning the phone rang, just as Richard was leaving for the gym. "Could you get that, Kate?" he asked. "I forgot my gym bag upstairs, and I'm already running late."

"Sure, hon." She shut off the kitchen faucet and grabbed the dish towel, drying her hands as she crossed to the phone.

"And if it's my mother, she's missed me. I'll call her back later."

Kate nodded and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

Not waiting to see who it was, Richard hurried from the kitchen. He had a 9:00 a.m. session with his personal trainer, and the man did not appreciate waiting. Nor did he refund lost minutes if a client was late.

Richard grabbed the gym bag from his walk-in closet, quickly checked its contents, then jogged downstairs. He popped his head into the kitchen. "I'll be back after…Kate? What is it? What's wrong?"

Pale, visibly shaking, Kate met his gaze. She opened her mouth as if to reply, but no sound came out.

He crossed to her, heart in his throat. He cupped her elbows and shook her lightly. "Has there been an accident? Kate, has one of our parents-"

"That was Ellen," she whispered, eyes flooding with tears. "We've been…a birth mother…" The tears choked her, and she struggled to clear her throat. "A birth mother…she picked…us."

Richard took a step back, stunned. It couldn't be. They couldn't have been chosen so soon.

Richard searched his wife's gaze, looking for amusement, laughter at having successfully pulled one over on him. He saw neither.

But he wasn't ready.

He fought for composure, for the cool that rarely escaped him. "You're sure we've been chosen? I mean, you're certain it's not that we're just being considered, seriously considered, but not-"

"No, I'm sure. Positive. Ellen wants to meet early next week to go over what to expect."

"But…" Richard dragged a hand through his hair, shocked to realize it shook. "But we only signed on with Citywide, not even two months ago. It's not supposed to happen this fast. They said a year, maybe more. They said-"

"I know." Kate brought her hands to her mouth. "The baby's due soon. Early May. That's less than three months away."

Early May?

Dear God, what did he do now?

Kate put her arms around him and pressed her cheek to his chest. "We're going to be parents, Richard. We're going to have a baby."

He held her to him tightly. He could feel her happiness, her complete and utter joy, in the way she trembled, in the way she clung to him. He saw it in her eyes and heard it in her voice.

Cause for Alarm So, why did he feel nothing but trapped?

She tilted her head back to meet his eyes. "How do you feel?" she asked, as if reading his thoughts.

The truth would never do. He couldn't hurt her that way. He wouldn't, no matter what it cost him. "Happy, I guess."

She laughed. "You guess?"

"Yes, definitely happy." He searched her gaze looking for a hint of hesitation, of the weakness and fear that milked him dry. He saw none. "It's just…I can't believe this is happening."

"Me, either. It's a dream come true."

A dream come true. For her.

Hating his thoughts, he drew her against him once more. He was happy, he was. He just wasn't as starry-eyed as Kate. He wasn't as adventurous. As trusting. He was a lawyer, for God's sake. He saw possible complications, legal entanglements.

This could blow up in their faces. Kate could have her heart broken.

"You're quiet," she murmured.

"I'm thinking."

"Uh-oh." Again she tipped her head back and laughed up at him. "Stop that. Stop looking for problems. You're going to be a great daddy, Richard Patrick Ryan."

He smiled, drawn into Kate's joy. "What makes you think so?"

"I just know so." She cupped his face in her palms and gazed into his eyes. "You're going to be the best daddy ever."

Kate and Richard met with Ellen at the Citywide offices first thing Monday morning. The meeting fulfilled a twofold purpose: it was an opportunity for them to discuss their pending adoption; and it would serve as their first home study interview. The law in Louisiana required that a home study be completed before a child could be placed in an adoptive home. Due to the circumstances, Kate and Richard's would have to be rushed through.