Erica Spindler - Cause for Alarm

"Dead serious. Dr. Samuel has been notified. You need to call his office for an appointment. Before you leave, remind me and I'll give you one of his cards. As for your living expenses, you'll receive your first check at the beginning of next month and every month thereafter until the birth of your child."

For a moment, Julianna simply stared at the woman, unable to believe it was true. No more waiting on ungrateful slobs. No more aching feet and back or going home at night reeking of fried food.

Another sign.

Tears stung her eyes. "Thank you, Ellen. Thank you so much. This is going to make things so much easier for me."

"That's what we're here for. Now-" she folded her hands on the desk in front of her "-what can I do for you?"

Julianna drew in a careful breath. Ellen, she was certain, would not believe in destiny. Or fate. She would not understand how Julianna and Richard were meant for each other. And, Julianna was certain, if she even suspected what Julianna was up to, she would toss her out of the program so fast her head would spin.

She needed to play this just right.

Julianna lowered her eyes for a moment, then returned them to Ellen's, hoping to appear hesitant and unsure of herself. "I've…I've come to a decision. About which couple I want to adopt my baby."

"Have you?" Ellen leaned slightly forward, beaming at Julianna.

"Yes, I…it wasn't easy. I sympathized with every couple. I almost feel bad that I can't…choose them all."

"But one couple jumped out at you." Ellen smiled encouragingly. "One couple seemed perfect."

Julianna returned her smile. "That's exactly right. How did you know?"

"It always works that way. I think of it as part of the miracle of adoption." Again the woman beamed. "So, who have you chosen?"

"Before I-" she took a deep breath "-before I tell you, I have a few questions. About how openness works."

"Certainly." Ellen folded her hands on the desk in front of her and went on to explain Julianna's different options, from a closed adoption to a completely open one and the many choices in between. The former being no contact between her and the adoptive parents, the latter including regular postplacement visits with both the baby and its new family.

When Ellen had finished, Julianna said nothing for several moments, pretending to take in all the woman had told her. "But…how will I know if the couple I choose will agree to the arrangement I want?"

"Truthfully, most of the couples are quite flexible. After all, they're all anxious to be parents."

"But what if the couple I choose feels differently?" Julianna caught her bottom lip between her teeth. "What if…I mean, I would hate to get my hopes up only to have them dashed."

"I can understand that. Let me reassure you, however, that's never happened."

"But still…" Julianna wrung her hands. "If I tell you who I chose…could you tell me what they've agreed to?" She met the other woman's eyes pleadingly.

Ellen hesitated, but only a moment. "I guess so. Who's the lucky couple?"

"Richard and Kate."

"Richard and Kate," Ellen repeated, looking pleased. "You've made a wonderful choice, Julianna. They're a lovely couple and have so much to offer a child. Their folder is right here." She tapped the folder on top of the stack in front of her. "Just give me a moment and I'll check the degree of openness they selected."

She opened the folder and flipped through a few pages, finally stopping on one. Julianna watched her, heart pounding, fingers itching to get her hands on that folder.

"They're open to meeting you," Ellen murmured. "They've agreed to postplacement letters and pictures and quarterly visits for the first year." She met Julianna's eyes. "How does that sound?"

"It sounds…good," Julianna murmured. "It gives me a lot of options." She looked down at her folded hands a moment, then back up at Ellen, her expression as earnest as she could make it. "I haven't completely decided what I want yet. There's so much to consider. I want to do the right thing. The best thing."

Ellen nodded. "I appreciate that and so will Kate and Richard. Just remember, Julianna, you're already doing the right thing for your baby. He or she will have a wonderful life with the…with Kate and Richard."

Julianna dropped her gaze to Ellen's desk and Kate and Richard's folder, scrambling for a way to get her hands on it. Suddenly, inspiration struck.

Julianna got to her feet. "Thank you so much for your time and…your…your-" She brought a hand to her head. "I don't feel so well."

Ellen jumped up. "What's wrong? You're not…is it labor?"

"I don't know. I don't…think so. I feel-" Julianna fluttered her eyelids and swayed slightly. "I feel a little…a little…faint."

"Oh, dear." The social worker rushed around the desk and took her arm. "Come, let me help you. There's a sofa in the waiting area. You can lay down there."

Julianna shook her head. "No…really. I don't…just let me sit here. A glass of water or…juice. Could you… please?"

"Of course." The other woman nodded and helped ease her back into the chair. "I'll be right back. Just call out if you need me."

The minute Ellen cleared the door, Julianna launched to her feet. She grabbed the folder and flipped it open. "Ryan," she whispered, reading the information. "On 361 Lakeshore Drive. Mandeville."

She repeated the information silently, committing it to memory, even as she shut the folder and laid it back on Ellen's desk, careful to return it to the exact spot she had found it.

No sooner had she settled back in her chair, than the social worker rushed back into the office with a glass of orange juice. "Here you are."

Ellen handed the glass to Julianna and hovered over her while she sipped the juice, making sure she drank the entire glass.

"How do you feel?" she asked when the juice was gone.

"Better." Julianna smiled weakly and handed the glass back. "Much better. Thank you."

The woman seemed unconvinced. "Have you eaten? I could get you some more juice. I think Madeline has a stash of cookies around here someplace, I could get-"

"I'm fine now. Really." When Ellen opened her mouth as if to argue, Julianna hurried to reassure her more. "I had a peanut butter sandwich and glass of milk just before I left Buster's. Sometimes I just get a little dizzy."

"It's called being pregnant." Ellen smiled, obviously relieved. "But you need to mention it to Dr. Samuel anyway."

"I will." Julianna looked at the floor, thinking of the future, of her and Richard and how it would be between them. "To tell you the truth," she said, meeting Ellen's eyes once more, "I'm looking forward to not being pregnant anymore."

"It won't be long now." Ellen laid a reassuring hand on Julianna's shoulder. "Kate and Richard, may I tell them the good news? They'll be thrilled. Over the moon, really."

"Not yet, please. I want to live with my decision awhile." Julianna clasped her hands together. "And I need to decide what I want, in terms of openness. I need to decide what's going to feel right to me. Do you understand?"

"Of course. And that's absolutely what we want you to do. Believe me, it will save a lot of heartache and confusion later."

"Thank you again, Ellen. For everything." Julianna stood and slipped into her coat, anxious now to be on her way. Anxious to decide her next step, to decide what to do with the information she had learned today. "I should go."

"Are you certain you feel well enough? Perhaps you should stay? Madeline will be back any moment and I'm sure-"

Julianna cut her off. "I feel fine now. And I'd like to get home before dark."

Ellen nodded and walked her to the door. There, she gave her a light hug. "Congratulations on your decision, Julianna. You've made a wonderful choice."