Len Deighton - Spy Hook

'I'm too old to welcome changes just for the sake of change, Bernard. I was in the Department with your father back in 1943. I did a training course with Sir Henry Clevemore – "Pimples" we called him – a damned great hulking kid. He fell into a drainage ditch on one of the assault courses. It needed four of us to haul him out.' He drank some more wine, and after a reflective pause added, 'My wife says I've given my life to the Department, and a large chunk of her life too!' It was a heartfelt declaration of pride, resentment and regret.

He went on talking about the Department through the cottage pie, the bread and butter pudding and the Cheddar cheese. No matter how long he lived here, and how assimilated he became, the output from Frank's kitchen remained defiantly British public school. I was happy to listen to him, especially when he mentioned my father. He knew that of course, and all the stories he told showed my father in such a glorious light that I knew he was just putting it on for me. 'Your dad sat for days and days in some filthy apartment with only this German fellow for company: arguing and swearing most of the time according to your dad's account. They were waiting for news of Hitler's assassination. When the news came that the assassination attempt had failed, in came this Gestapo agent. Your dad was ready to jump out of the window but it turned out that it was the other chap's brother… I'm probably getting it all muddled,' said Frank with a smile. 'And I'm sure it was all just one of your father's yarns. But whenever your dad could be persuaded to tell that story he'd have me, and everyone else, in fits of laughter.' Frank had some more wine and ate some cheese. 'None of the rest of us had ever been in Nazi Germany of course. We hung on your dad's every word. Sometimes he'd be pulling our leg mercilessly.'

'The other day someone hinted that the Department might get to me through my father,' I said as casually as I could.

'Pressure you?'

'That was the implication. How could they do that, Frank? Did Dad do anything…'

'Are you serious, Bernard?'

'I want to know, Frank.'

'Then may I suggest you seek clarification from whoever gave you this bizarre idea.'

I changed the subject. 'And Fiona?' I asked as casually as I was able.

He looked up sharply. I suppose he knew how much I still missed her. 'She keeps a very low profile.'

'But she's still in East Berlin?'

'Very much so. Flourishing, or so I hear. Why?'

'I was just curious.'

'Put her out of your mind, Bernard. It's all over now. I suffered for you but now it's time to forget the past. Tell me about the new house. Do the children like having a garden?'

Our conversation was devoted to domestic small-talk. By the time we went back to the drawing room to drink coffee, Frank was in a mellow mood. I said, 'Remember the last time we were together in this room, Frank?'

He looked at me and after a moment's thought said, The night you came over asking me to get Bret Rensselaer off the hook. It is really that long ago? Three years?'

'You were packing your Duke Ellington records,' I said. 'They were all across the floor here.'

'I thought I was retiring and going back to England.' He looked round remembering it all and said, 'It changed my life, I suppose. By now I would have been pensioned off and growing roses.'

'And been Sir Frank Harrington,' I said. 'I'm sorry about the way it all worked out, Frank.' It was generally agreed that the debacle resulting from my intervention had deprived Frank of the knighthood he'd set his heart on. London Central had been saved from humiliation, by my warning and Frank's unilateral action, but they'd still not forgiven either of us. We'd been proved right, and for the mandarins of the Foreign Office that was a rare and unpardonable sin.

'It must be nearly three years,' he said, unrolling his tobacco pouch and stuffing his Balkan Sobranie tobacco into the bowl of a curly pipe. Oh God, was Frank going to smoke that pipe of his? 'I was disappointed at the time but I've got over it now.'

'I suppose Bret got the worst of it.'

'I suppose so,' said Frank, lighting his pipe.

'Last I heard he was having night and day nursing care and sinking fast,' I said. 'He's not still alive?'

Frank took his time getting his pipe going before he replied. Then he said, 'Bret hung on for a long time but now he's gone.' He smiled in that distant way of his and started puffing contentedly. I moved back from him. I could never get used to Frank's pipe. He said, That's not to be repeated. Perhaps I shouldn't have told you. I was told in confidence; the Department have said nothing yet.'

'Poor Bret. That night I flew out of Berlin there was a roomful of men in white coats swearing he couldn't live beyond the weekend.'

'His brother arrived with some damned American general in tow. Bret was hauled aboard a US Air Force plane and flown out. I heard they'd put him into that hospital in Washington, where they treat the US Presidents. He was in all kinds of hospitals for a long time: you know what the Americans are like. And then he went to convalesce in a house he owns in the Virgin Islands. He sent me a postcard from there; "Wish you were here", palm trees and a beach. Berlin was deep under snow and the central heating was giving trouble. I didn't think it was so funny at the time. I wondered if he meant that he wished I'd stopped the bullet that he'd taken. I don't know. I never will know, I suppose.'

I said nothing.

There was a lot of prodding at the tobacco. Frank had a special little steel device for pushing it around. He tended that pipe like some Scots engineer at the boiler of an ancient and well beloved tramp steamer. And it gave him time to think about what he was going to say. 'I've never been told officially, of course. I thought it was funny, the way that Bret always made such a big performance of being English. And then he's injured and he's off to America.' Another pause. 'As I say, Bret never died officially; he just faded away.'

'Like old soldiers,' I said.

'What? Oh, yes, I see what you mean.'

Then the conversation moved to other matters. I asked about Frank's son, an airline pilot who'd recently gone from British Airways to one of the domestic airlines. He was flying smaller planes on shorter routes but he was at home with his wife almost every night and making more money too. In the old days Frank's son had often got to Berlin, but nowadays it was not on any of his routes and Frank admitted that sometimes he felt lonely.

I looked around. The house was all beautifully kept up but it was a dark echoing place for one man on his own. I remembered how, many years ago, Frank told me that marriage didn't fit very well with men 'in our line of business – women don't like secrets to which they are not a party'. I'd thought about it ever since.

Frank asked about mutual friends in Washington DC and after talking about some of them I said, 'Do you remember Jim Prettyman?'

'Prettyman? No,' said Frank with conviction. Then Frank asked if everything was all right between me and Gloria. I said it was, because the ever-growing fear that I had, about becoming too dependent upon her, seemed too trivial and childish to discuss.

'Not thinking of marrying again?' Frank asked.

I'm not free to marry,' I reminded him. 'I'm still legally married to Fiona, aren't I?'

'Of course.'

'I have a nasty feeling she'll try for custody of the children again,' I said. I hadn't intended to tell him but I'd got to the point where I had to tell someone.

'I hope not, Bernard.'

'I had a formal letter from my father-in-law. He wants regular access to the children.'

He took his pipe from his mouth. 'And you think he's in touch with Fiona?'

'I'm not going to rule it out; he's a two-faced old bastard.'