Carol Ericson - Circumstantial Memories

“You noticed that, did you?” He closed his eyes and his head fell back.

“Hard to miss a big, white truck sitting outside my house with a cowboy lounging in the front seat.” She kneaded a tight muscle where his neck and shoulder met, and he groaned.

“Just didn’t want to leave you alone in that house after what happened.”

“I should’ve let you stay inside. I’m sorry.” Her fingers slid down the front of his shirt, splaying across the hard muscles of his chest.

He opened his eyes and grabbed her other hand, planting a kiss on her palm. “Don’t be sorry. You need time, time to remember…”

“Sorry I’m late.”

Dr. Brody burst through his office door, and Julia jumped back from Ryder as if she was sixteen and Dad just discovered her on the couch with a boy. Maybe Ryder had the right idea about that transference stuff.

She glanced over Dr. Brody’s shoulder into his empty office. “Don’t you have another patient?”

“Cancelled. I was just transcribing a tape from an earlier session. Are you ready?”

Dr. Brody’s wide smile didn’t mesh with his narrowed eyes, and Julia felt more confident than ever in her decision to end treatment with him.

“Do you think Ryder needs to be present again?” She glanced over her shoulder at Ryder and rolled her eyes.

“Of course he needs to be present.” Dr. Brody swept his arm into his office.

As Julia brushed past him, he stiffened. Then he followed her into the office ahead of Ryder.

“Let’s get right down to business. Feeling susceptible today, Julia?”

Jerk. Brody had a crush on Julia, and he’d been holding her back from making progress all these years because he didn’t want to lose her to her memories of another life…another man. He had half a mind to report him even though it would be hard to prove. Of course, if Brody turned out to be Julia’s stalker, they’d nail him for more than improper conduct.

As Brody’s smooth voice flowed through the room, Julia’s eyelids drooped and the hands she’d been clasping in her lap fell to her sides.

At least the guy had his methods of hypnosis down.

Julia’s memories came easily now. She recalled her childhood with her parents, the loneliness of being an only child and shuttling between two countries. Her trust and love for her father shined through, as did her rancorous relationship with her mother.

Even her first meeting with Jeremy and the reasons for her attraction to him tumbled from her lips. After their separation and subsequent divorce, Julia had explained it all to him. How lost she felt after her father’s death and how Jeremy’s overwhelming and extravagant attention filled that void, making her whole again.

“But then the relationship soured, didn’t it, Julia?”

She nodded. “When I met Jeremy, I had blinders on. He swept me away when I needed sweeping away. I didn’t notice his faults, didn’t want to notice his faults.”

“Did you know he was involved in sabotage when you left him?”

“No.” She screwed up her eyes. “Not then, but I found out he was cheating on me, and he got violent when I confronted him about it.”

“So you paid him back by taking a lover of your own, didn’t you?”

Ryder’s head snapped up as he glared at Brody. What the hell was the man doing?

Brody held his hand out to him. His soothing voice took on a hard edge. “You had an affair while you were married, didn’t you, Julia?”

“I loved Ryder.” Sinking back against the cushions, Julia smiled. “I still love Ryder.”

The tight knot in Ryder’s belly unraveled and his doubts dissipated. She loved him and it had nothing to do with being on the rebound from Jeremy. Maybe Brody knew what he was doing, but he had a misconception about when their affair started. Julia never cheated on Jeremy.

“And you made love to Ryder while you were still married to Jeremy. Maybe that’s why you can’t remember him. It’s the guilt.”

Ryder clenched his jaw. Was Brody trying to help her regain her memory or make her feel like crap?

“No.” A furrow gathered between Julia’s eyebrows as she tilted her head. “We fell in love while I was still married to Jeremy, but we didn’t get together until after the separation.”

“Then why are you suppressing memories of Ryder? Is there some secret about your relationship?”

Ryder shifted in his seat. What kind of game was Brody playing? He’d obviously figured out Ryder was Shelby ’s father. Why was he pressing Julia now? Ryder wanted Julia to remember the pregnancy on her own, not like this. Growling from the back of his throat, he stood up, looming over Brody.

“You can’t disturb her now unless you want to cause some damage to her psyche.” Brody turned his smug smile on Ryder.

Ryder clenched his fist, ready to smash that smile to smithereens, but he didn’t know a thing about hypnosis and he wouldn’t do a thing to jeopardize Julia’s safety.

“How about it, Julia? Are you keeping a secret from Ryder?”

“My pregnancy.” A single tear rolled down Julia’s face. “I found out I was pregnant with Ryder’s baby before he left for his next mission, but I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to hold him or trick him. He’d already told me he didn’t want children.”

Had he really said something so stupid? After meeting Shelby, he couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t want to have children, a perfect little tomboy with gleaming curls.

“So you hid the truth from Ryder, and he’s been hiding the truth from you.”

Ryder uncurled his fists and flexed his fingers. He’d strangle him instead.

“When Ryder walked back into your life on Silverhill’s main street and saw Shelby, he must’ve known she was his daughter. And he kept the truth from you. Why do you think he did that?”

“Stop it, Brody,” Ryder said through clenched teeth.

“I don’t know.” Julia pinned her hands between her knees and began rocking.

“Maybe he lied to you because you lied to him. Maybe he has plans to take Shelby away from you, an unfit mother who has panic attacks, a black hole for a memory, and a dangerous man stalking her.”

Ryder crouched behind Brody’s chair and hooked an arm around his neck. He hissed in his ear, “Bring her out of it now, you piece of garbage. And when this is over, you’ll have another black spot on your record with that psychology board.”

Brody choked and clawed at Ryder’s forearm. “Okay, okay.”

Rubbing his throat, Brody intoned the words to bring Julia out of her hypnotic state. As he encouraged her to remember everything from the session, he shot a vindictive glance at Ryder, hovering at Julia’s side.

Julia’s eyelids fluttered open and she crossed her arms over her chest, gripping her upper arms. Her gaze slid from Brody’s triumphant face to Ryder’s tight one.

She sat forward, her wide eyes brimming with distrust. Ryder ran his hand down her back, but she bristled at his touch.

“I’d say that was a very successful session because you finally discovered the identity of Shelby ’s father.” Brody snapped his notebook shut and stood up.

Ryder lunged for Brody and grabbed his shirt collar.

Julia yelled, “Stop. He’s not worth it.”

Ryder shoved him back and wiped his hands on the thighs of his jeans. “I’m filing a complaint against you.”

Smiling, Brody straightened his shirt. “Go ahead. I didn’t record this session. It’s one disgruntled…patient’s word against mine. She was in a hypnotic state.”

“I’m not coming back, Jim. It’s over. I don’t think you ever had my well-being as your top priority.” Julia rose from the sofa and rubbed her pale, tear-smudged face.