Stuart Woods - Kisser

“Then I don’t think you need me for a satisfactory resolution to your, ah, condition.”

“Oh, I never need a man for that,” she said, “but there are times when I’d like one, and this is one of those times.”

Stone was short of words again.

“In fact,” she said, “all you have to do is stand up. This counter is exactly the right height for you to just sort of walk into me.”

“I suppose it is,” Stone said.

She reached over and stroked his crotch. “And I can tell you’re ready.” She squeezed.

Stone twitched involuntarily. God knows, I’m ready, he thought. He looked for a way out of this without insulting her. “Actually, I was quite active last night, and I’m pretty sore.”

“I’ll be gentle,” she said. She took his arm, pulled him off the stool onto his feet, and kicked the stool away. She put a hand inside his belt and pulled him toward her.

“I really am very uncomfortable with this,” Stone said, removing her hand from his belt.

“Then let’s free things up,” she said, reaching for his zipper.

“Let’s not,” Stone said, removing her hand again.

“Stone!” a male voice called from the hallway.

Stone turned. “Yes?” he called, trying not to sound relieved. When he turned back, Patti had hopped off the counter and returned her skirt to its full length.

Derek Sharpe walked into the kitchen. “Sig would like you back,” he said.

“Sure,” Stone replied, and followed Patti, who was following Derek.

She reached back for his crotch, but he evaded her by sidestepping.

Stone concentrated on reducing the bulge in his trousers, but it was difficult. He took a seat. “How can I help?”

“Derek,” Mitzi said, “may I speak to you privately for a moment while Stone chats with Sig?”

“Of course,” Sharpe replied. He got up and followed Mitzi from the room.

“I’ve been explaining to Mitzi how profitable it can be to invest in emerging technology,” Larsen said.

“What sort of emerging technology did you have in mind?” Stone asked.

“A new software company that’s developing software for the iPhone,” Larsen replied.

“Lots of people are developing software for the iPhone,” Stone said. “What’s so different about this one?”

“It’s very, very different,” Larsen said, “but I’m afraid I can’t go into that.”

“Did you go into it with Mitzi?” he asked.

“In broad terms. I’m prepared to give her a prospectus, if she’s interested, but she wanted your opinion.”

“It’s hard to have an opinion,” Stone said, “when you’re talking in generalities.” He really wanted to be listening to the conversation between Sharpe and Mitzi, but at least downtown was listening.

“I’ll make sure that you see the prospectus,” Larsen said.

“Do you have a copy with you?”

“Yes, but that’s Mitzi’s; I’ll send someone to you tomorrow with a copy that you can peruse, then return to me.”

“You’re being very cautious,” Stone said.

“The opportunity is large; I don’t want word to get around until I have my investors in this company.”

“Good thinking,” Stone said. Then it got very quiet. He caught Patti looking at his crotch and involuntarily crossed his legs.

MITZILED DEREK HARPE into the study off the living room, and they sat down on a sofa. She turned to face him. “This is awkward,” she said.

Derek placed a hand on her knee. “I don’t want you ever to feel awkward with me.”

She shifted her position to dislodge the hand. “I have some friends in Charleston who want something that I can’t supply them,” she said.

“And what would that be?” Sharpe asked.

“Something that I have no experience in obtaining,” she said, “since I have no personal need for it.”

“Well, if we were in the nineteen-twenties I’d think you were going to ask me where you could buy a case of Scotch.”

“That’s not a bad analogy,” Mitzi said, trying to seem more nervous than she felt. “It’s just that I’ve been in New York for such a short time that my circle of acquaintance doesn’t extend to people who… have a wider circle of acquaintance.”

“Now it sounds as if you want me to provide you with a porno star for your personal use. Or that of your friends.”

“That’s not a good analogy,” she said. “What they want is unavailable over the counter, so to speak.”

“Are we talking about illegal recreational drugs?” Sharpe asked.

Mitzi heaved a big sign of apparent relief. “Yes,” she said.

“In what sort of quantity?” he asked.

“Oh, just small stuff,” she replied. “They asked me if I could find them half a pound each of marijuana and cocaine.”

“Half a pound of either of those is not small stuff,” Sharpe replied. “Together, they make a quantity that ordinary dealers might be reluctant to sell you.”

“Oh?” Mitzi asked innocently. “Why? Don’t they want to sell as much as possible?”

“Yes, but they become uncomfortable when someone asks for a quantity that could subject them to arrest for dealing.”

“But that’s what they do, isn’t it?”

“They do, but the penalties for simple possession of a small amount of drugs for personal use and for possession in sufficient quantity to suggest intent to sell are very different, so they become cautious when such a request is made.”

“If it’s about money, that’s not a problem,” Mitzi said.

“It’s not about money, Mitzi; it’s more about discretion.”

“Am I being indiscreet?” she asked, widening her eyes.

“Just a little.”

“I’m sorry. I have no experience at this sort of thing,” she said. “I apologize. Please forget I asked.” She began to rise, but he stopped her.

“It’s for that reason that I want to advise you,” Sharpe said.

“All right, what is your advice?”

“First, we need to find some place to receive the package,” Sharpe said.

“How about right here?” Mitzi asked, waving an arm. “This is not exactly a street corner.”

“No, it’s not,” Sharpe admitted, “and this apartment would be a discreet place for you to accept delivery.”

“Oh, good,” she said, brightening.

“You understand that you must pay in cash?”

“I wasn’t planning to write a check or use my American Express card,” she said.

“Good, because you’re talking about quite a lot of cash.” He quoted a number.

“Goodness, that much?”

“That much.”

“Well, it’s not my money,” she said. “I guess if that’s the going rate, they’ll have to pay it.”

“Do you think they might object to that amount?” Sharpe asked.

“They left it entirely to my discretion, and I leave it entirely to yours, Derek.”

“All right. How soon can you have the cash?”

“I already have it,” Mitzi said. “I always keep some cash in the safe. I hate ATMs-such small bills!”

“I agree entirely,” Sharpe said. “Would you like to give me the money now?”

“I believe I’d prefer cash on delivery,” Mitzi said. “That’s how my daddy brought me up.”

“Well…”

“I’m good for it, Derek. I hope you know that.”

“Of course I know that, Mitzi. I’ll send the man over with it tomorrow morning, if that’s all right.”

Mitzi shook her head. “I’m perfectly happy to receive the package here,” she said, “but I won’t have some drug dealer in this apartment. I’d be scared to death.”

“Well, suppose I send Hildy Parsons over with it.”

Mitzi shook her head again. “I wouldn’t ask Hildy to do that,” she said. “I hardly know her.”