Stuart Woods - Kisser

Elaine came over and sat down. “So, what’s funny?”

Dino couldn’t stop laughing but pointed at Stone.

“Yeah?” Elaine asked. “What about him?”

Stone produced his new badge and ID and showed them to her.

“You gotta be kidding,” she said.

“It’s only temporary.”

“I’m amazed they’d have you back,” she said.

“They insisted,” Stone replied.

Dino continued to laugh.

“All right,” Stone said, “you can shut up now.”

Dino gradually got control of himself.

Stone stuck a finger in his right ear. “And they bugged me, too.”

“You mean you’re wearing a wire?” Dino asked, wiping tears away with his napkin.

“Right this minute.”

“Where is it, in your crotch? And why do you have your finger in your ear?”

“It’s not in my crotch-it’s deep down in my ear, and I’ve got my finger in it so they can’t hear us downtown.”

“Why don’t you just remove the thing?” Elaine asked.

“Because you need this little wire with a hook on it to get it out, and I lost the wire.”

Dino began to laugh again.

“You look kind of silly with your finger in your ear,” Elaine said.

“Do you want to be recorded downtown?” Stone asked.

“Not particularly.”

“Well, if I take out my finger, they can hear everything you say.”

“Okay,” she said, “keep your finger in your ear. It’s starting to look attractive that way.”

Stone took a big slug of his drink. “God, I needed that.”

“You know,” Dino said, “this is the funniest evening I’ve ever spent in this joint. I’ve never laughed so much.”

“It’s good for you,” Elaine said.

Stone looked up to see Mitzi Reynolds walk into the restaurant, and she headed for his table.

She gave him a kiss. “Don’t tell me, you’ve lost the little wire, and you’ve got your finger in your ear so they can’t hear you downtown.”

“Drop it,” Stone said.

She leaned over and whispered in his left ear. “Rita Gammage is outside in a limo; why don’t you and I join her, and we’ll go down to your house and have some fun.”

“What, with this thing in my ear?”

“I’ll show you how to get it out without the wire,” she said.

“You’re on,” Stone replied. “Will you excuse us?” he said to Elaine and Dino before tossing back his drink.

“What, you’re not eating?” Elaine said, looking shocked. “You took up a whole table, and you’re not eating?”

“Dino’s the one taking up the table,” Stone said, “and he’s eating. Maybe I’ll eat later.”

“What’s going on?” Dino asked.

“Something’s come up,” Stone replied.

Mitzi leaned over and whispered, “Something’s going to come up.”

They left the restaurant and got into the rear seat of the limo. Rita was there, and she kissed Stone and continued to kiss him as they rode downtown, while Mitzi unzipped his fly and got a hand inside.

“This is working,” she said.

Stone still had a finger in his ear. They got to his house and upstairs. “How do I get this thing out?” he asked. Rita was working on his buttons.

“Stand over the bedside table,” she said, “with the right side of your head down. Stick your finger in your left ear, hold your nose with your right hand, take a deep breath and blow, but hold your breath in.”

Stone followed the instructions and the bug popped out onto the table. “Thank God,” he said.

Rita had his shirt off, and Mitzi was getting his trousers down. After another few seconds of the frantic shedding of clothes, the lights were turned off, and they were all naked in bed.

Stone lay on his back while somebody kissed him and somebody else had his penis in her mouth. He couldn’t tell which was which in the dark, but it hardly mattered. He did what he could with his hands, then somebody mounted him and somebody else sat on his face. He could not remember such a medley of sensations.

AFTER A WHILE, they all lay in a heap, panting and sweating.

“So, Stone,” somebody asked, “how was that?”

Stone was panting too hard to reply.

“Again?” the other voice said.

“You’d better start without me,” Stone said, and they did, while he explored their bodies with his fingers, entering here and there. The two girls were talking to each other and to him, issuing instructions while they played, then they both seemed to come again, nearly simultaneously.

“Let’s order a pizza,” someone, perhaps Mitzi, said.

“What kind?” Rita asked.

“Domino’s-Extravaganza, hold the green peppers,” Stone said.

But nobody could move, and they dozed off.

STONE WAS JERKED awake by the noise the front door bell was making on the telephone. He picked it up. “Yes?”

“Pizza delivery,” a voice said.

“Hang on,” Stone replied. He found a robe and some money, then went down to the front door and brought the pizza upstairs. The girls were sitting up in bed, and the light was on.

He handed them the box and got some beer out of the little bar fridge.

Mitzi was looking at him oddly. “I remember talking about pizza,” she said, “but I don’t remember anybody actually ordering it.”

Rita opened the box and held up a slip of paper. “What is this?”

Stone took it and read it aloud. “ ‘From the guys at the First Precinct. Bravo!’ ”

“Uh-oh,” Mitzi said, pointing at the bedside table.

The little bug sat there where Stone had dropped it, pointing toward the bed.

This time they rested and dozed a little.

STONE HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED a night quite like it. The pizza had revived them, and after having stuffed the ear bug into his sock drawer, they began again.

Now, at ten in the morning, they were having breakfast in Stone’s garden, snug behind the ivy-covered brick walls on either side of them and facing the Turtle Bay Common Garden at the end.

The girls seemed fresh as a daisy-showered, shampooed, coifed, and made up, their clothes freshly pressed with Helene’s iron. Stone was freshly showered, shaved, and dressed, too, but despite his having drunk a cup of strong Italian coffee-and he was now drinking his second-he felt tired, sore, and sleepy.

“Do you have any important work to do today, Stone?” Rita asked.

“Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow,” he mumbled.

“Then maybe you should go back to bed,” she said.

“And maybe we could join you!” Mitzi offered.

Stone held up his hands in a gesture of pleading. “Not today; maybe never again.”

“We’ll see about that,” Mitzi said.

“What I need is a massage,” Stone replied.

“I’d love to do that, but I’ve got a meeting at the precinct.”

“Thank God,” Stone said.

“And I have to go to work,” Rita added.

“And good luck to you.”

Mitzi spoke again. “The meeting downtown is about our next step with Derek Sharpe.”

“What about Sig Larsen?” Stone asked.

“The feds have taken an interest in him. We’re going to give them the recordings that you and I make.”

“That you and I make when?” Stone asked.

“Perhaps as early as this evening,” Mitzi said, “so you’d better get some rest.”

“Has Brian Doyle explained to you how dangerous this is, and why?”

“You mean from Derek’s rivals in the drug game?”

“I do.”

“I’m not particularly worried about that; we’ll be well protected. Still, I’m going to armor up, and you should, too.”

Stone nodded.

The girls got up and took turns kissing him.

“And don’t forget your ear bug,” Mitzi said.

“I think you’re going to get a hard time from the guys at your meeting,” Stone said.